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**LadyDaemon** · August 22, 2013, 06:29 PM

I honestly think the age thing is a matter of opinion and circumstance. Me and my SO have a 9 year age gap and we do just fine. I don't understand that whole "he/she's too old for you,you shouldn't be with them!" thing unless she's like 13 and he's 24 or something. I just hope he's with you because he really love you and not because he's looking for something else. Most guys about that age only want one thing and you being 16 and all in love with this guy has the potential of blinding you to that fact. So watch yourself. The only other thing I will say on the age front is that I hope that sexually you're not doing anything. It is illegal for a US citizen to have sex with a minor if you're under the age of 18 in a good majority of states. Missouri I believe being one of them. That can get your SO charged with statutory rape if someone turns him in or your parents report him.

**princessmaria** · August 22, 2013, 07:09 PM

Originally posted by Lydia_Decourcy View Post

Age is just a number

It may be just a number when two mature consenting adults are involved, but it's a whole different matter when your SO can literally be imprisoned for being with you in an inappropriate manner. I don't know when you and your SO met, but potentially you were 15 years old when he sought you out which is just...creepy for a 24/23 year old. I'm 19 and you're only 3 years younger than me, but we are in VERY very different places in our lives mentally and emotionally. I highly doubt your SO is thinking on the same level and terms that you are when he's 8 years older than you. I would just be very careful if I were you. I know you're all in love and stuff so it seems that what you're feeling can't be wrong, but be smart and create some boundaries for yourself. At the end of the day, it protects you and your SO.

**LadyDaemon** · August 22, 2013, 07:45 PM

Originally posted by princessmaria View Post

I don't know when you and your SO met, but potentially you were 15 years old when he sought you out which is just...creepy for a 24/23 year old.

The only thing I will say in defense of the OP on this one is that it's possible that he didn't seek her out,they just found each other. It happens. It could be innocent and he could really like/love her. There have been a lot of long distance couples who have met with this type of age gap and they don't touch each other until the younger one is legal or until marriage. But that's only because their SOs had respect enough for their SOs and themselves not to. When I was 16 I was dating guys I knew as friends first for a year or more that were older then me. They weren't being creepy or perverted,it's just how it happened. Of course it fell through,but the reasons were never sexually related. They treated me like shit,I left. Simple. Which I hope the OP has enough sense to do if he ever treats her badly or forces her into inappropriate actions before she's legal.

To the OP: Just take precautionary measures and don't do anything with him until you're positive that he's in this for the right reasons and you're legal. Think about your future and your well being first and foremost above anything else. Even above him.

**aniay** · August 23, 2013, 03:01 AM

If you were diagnosed with depresion I hope you are getting professional help. I can't stress out how important it is to get help in curing depression.

I know it helped me to deal with everyone and everything when I started getting meds.

You'r boyfriend sounds like a very nice guy, age diffe rence might not be a problem as well but by the age of 16 you never know how the life will turn out. You should concentrate on yourself so that whatever happens and whatever someone tells you you'll be self confident and not worry.

Your friend seems quite childlish but at the same time your depression might change the way you view her.

So concentrate on yourself and be strong. You are not alone, if you need someone to talk to there are people here who will listen.

**Mairja** · August 23, 2013, 04:42 AM

Lydia - I have to disagree with you and say your friend really does sound like she's jealous in some way. Trying to make you choose between her and your SO just isn't right, a real friend wouldn't do that. A real friend would support you and be there for you, even if she dislikes your SO as a person. To me, she's showing a great deal of immaturity and selfishness in how she's acting.

That said, I also need to say I agree with the other posters that've pointed out the age difference between you and your SO. So please take their warnings to heart and be careful, take good care of yourself and don't let him (or anybody else for that matter) pressure you into doing anything you're not comfortable with.

**Lydia_Decourcy** · August 23, 2013, 05:46 PM

Originally posted by LadyDaemon View Post

I honestly think the age thing is a matter of opinion and circumstance. Me and my SO have a 9 year age gap and we do just fine. I don't understand that whole "he/she's too old for you,you shouldn't be with them!" thing unless she's like 13 and he's 24 or something. I just hope he's with you because he really love you and not because he's looking for something else. Most guys about that age only want one thing and you being 16 and all in love with this guy has the potential of blinding you to that fact. So watch yourself. The only other thing I will say on the age front is that I hope that sexually you're not doing anything. It is illegal for a US citizen to have sex with a minor if you're under the age of 18 in a good majority of states. Missouri I believe being one of them. That can get your SO charged with statutory rape if someone turns him in or your parents report him.

We know all about that and we have not had sex and he doesn't force anything on me either. He said he will wait for me and I trust him. He really does love me because he shows it to me everyday. He is not the type of guy that just chases girls for sex and I've even spoke with his Mom. I may be in love but I'm not stupid ... <3

**Lydia_Decourcy** · August 23, 2013, 05:49 PM

Originally posted by princessmaria View Post

It may be just a number when two mature consenting adults are involved, but it's a whole different matter when your SO can literally be imprisoned for being with you in an inappropriate manner. I don't know when you and your SO met, but potentially you were 15 years old when he sought you out which is just...creepy for a 24/23 year old. I'm 19 and you're only 3 years younger than me, but we are in VERY very different places in our lives mentally and emotionally. I highly doubt your SO is thinking on the same level and terms that you are when he's 8 years older than you. I would just be very careful if I were you. I know you're all in love and stuff so it seems that what you're feeling can't be wrong, but be smart and create some boundaries for yourself. At the end of the day, it protects you and your SO.

I have boundaries thank you

and he didn't know my age when we added each other ... <3

**Lydia_Decourcy** · August 23, 2013, 05:57 PM

Originally posted by aniay View Post

If you were diagnosed with depresion I hope you are getting professional help. I can't stress out how important it is to get help in curing depression.

I know it helped me to deal with everyone and everything when I started getting meds.

You'r boyfriend sounds like a very nice guy, age diffe rence might not be a problem as well but by the age of 16 you never know how the life will turn out. You should concentrate on yourself so that whatever happens and whatever someone tells you you'll be self confident and not worry.

Your friend seems quite childlish but at the same time your depression might change the way you view her.

So concentrate on yourself and be strong. You are not alone, if you need someone to talk to there are people here who will listen.

I am getting help with my depression thank you

and I am concentrating on myself and my SO understands that and is still there for me

I'm going to a Music collage this year

Thank you so much that means a lot

x

**Lydia_Decourcy** · August 23, 2013, 06:24 PM

Originally posted by LadyDaemon View Post

The only thing I will say in defense of the OP on this one is that it's possible that he didn't seek her out,they just found each other. It happens. It could be innocent and he could really like/love her. There have been a lot of long distance couples who have met with this type of age gap and they don't touch each other until the younger one is legal or until marriage. But that's only because their SOs had respect enough for their SOs and themselves not to. When I was 16 I was dating guys I knew as friends first for a year or more that were older then me. They weren't being creepy or perverted,it's just how it happened. Of course it fell through,but the reasons were never sexually related. They treated me like shit,I left. Simple. Which I hope the OP has enough sense to do if he ever treats her badly or forces her into inappropriate actions before she's legal.

To the OP: Just take precautionary measures and don't do anything with him until you're positive that he's in this for the right reasons and you're legal. Think about your future and your well being first and foremost above anything else. Even above him.

Thank you

Oh and definitely I get the whole age thing with sex and stuff being illegal but I have said that I don't want to have sex at all until I'm 18 and I'm a girl that sticks to her word

I understand thank you x

**Lydia_Decourcy** · August 23, 2013, 06:31 PM

Originally posted by Mairja View Post

Lydia - I have to disagree with you and say your friend really does sound like she's jealous in some way. Trying to make you choose between her and your SO just isn't right, a real friend wouldn't do that. A real friend would support you and be there for you, even if she dislikes your SO as a person. To me, she's showing a great deal of immaturity and selfishness in how she's acting.

That said, I also need to say I agree with the other posters that've pointed out the age difference between you and your SO. So please take their warnings to heart and be careful, take good care of yourself and don't let him (or anybody else for that matter) pressure you into doing anything you're not comfortable with.

I guess your right and I have told her she is being selfish, but I guess that's life, there is always one that lets you down

and of course thank you, he hasn't pressured me into doing anything which actually really shocked me at first, but I'm getting use to the fact that someone actually does care about me as a person and doesn't just want me as a desire

I would not let anyone use me for sex and I have more respect for my body then that

I'm a human not a toy x

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