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    #1

    Falling in love Fast

    Is this normal with long distance relationships? Falling in love so quickly and becoming so reliant on talking to this person all hours of the day and falling in love with them so quickly when you haven't even met in person? I've never been in a long distance relationship; this is my first. I've developed strong feelings before if I was constantly talking to this person and never running out of anything to talk about, but it has always taken me a while to actually fall in love with someone. Loving someone is important to me and I don't like when people misuse it.

    But I've fallen in love with my OH so much and we haven't even known each other that long! I feel like we've known each other way longer with how much we've talked/skyped/voiced. Just wondering if this is normal because this is my first long distance relationship.
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    #2
    Maybe you aren't in love with him and just the newness and excitement of being in your first LDR is making you feel that way? Being reliant on talking to someone all hours of the day isn't necessarily a characteristic of love. I wouldn't say it's normal or standard for LDRs, but some studies do show that LDRs are often more intimate and personable due to the fact that people are more willing to share and be open via the internet vs in person. That could also be why.

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      #3
      Originally posted by princessmaria View Post
      Maybe you aren't in love with him and just the newness and excitement of being in your first LDR is making you feel that way? Being reliant on talking to someone all hours of the day isn't necessarily a characteristic of love. I wouldn't say it's normal or standard for LDRs, but some studies do show that LDRs are often more intimate and personable due to the fact that people are more willing to share and be open via the internet vs in person. That could also be why.
      Thanks for replying! I know that I do love him, and I didn't want to tell him for the longest time because I'm not used to telling someone so early that I love them or feeling this way. Usually in a normal relationship it would take a lot and I wouldn't for at least over a year of being with someone and we've only been together for a few months, but we've talked about anything and everything and have told each other so much and he is definitely more intimate and personable than most guys I've known. It does seem easier to talk and easier to open up to someone online than in person. So maybe that is why I've fallen for him so fast. He's amazing and not like any guy I've ever met and I'm pretty sure that is due to the fact he's from a different country. A lot more genuine and caring about things than guys in the US. Haha. It's just crazy how fast you can fall for someone you've never met in person.

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        #4
        I fell in love with my SO before we met but I kept my walls up until we met in person. I think its quite normal for that to happen, especially when you talk to this person for 3 or 4 hours a day, every day. They become a part of your life, of your daily routine and it feels funny when they're not around.

        However, if you feel this is going somewhere serious, meet up as soon as you can, otherwise you're just wasting time that could be spent together.

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          #5
          I met my SO on November 15th and by November 17th, we knew we had something special and decided to make it official. LDRs are definitely different than CDRs, I feel like you gain a bond that's a lot stronger and more intimate. So I'm not surprised at all that that's how you feel haha. I do second Zapookie's advice to meet up soon. It took over a year for me and my SO to actually meet and I constantly worried that we wouldn't have a real connection in real life. If we were able to meet up sooner, it would've been so much easier.

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            #6
            Haha, we definitely talked way more than 3-4 hours a day when we first met. I met him on May 14th and we talked for over 3 hours and he was late for work! And then after a couple of days we were talking from the moment I got up until he went to bed. (We have a 6 hour time difference) So about 8-10 hours a day! Haha. Sometimes more.

            Lately we've both been a bit busy. I have a two-year old, and he plays cricket on a lot of weekends. But we always make it a point to at least talk for a bit.

            I would love to meet him as soon as possible, it's already driving us mad the distance between us. But we won't be able to until sometime next year. But this is definitely serious. So I hope we can sometime soon.

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              #7
              Oh I don't know. We started talking April 22nd and by the 27th, we were in love and have been since. We're just over 4 months in and we meet for the first time in 2 months. It just depends on your relationship


              When we love, it isn't because the person's perfect, it's because we learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

              True love does not worry about the distance between, for the heart and soul travels through one's words

              When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart.

              1 universe, 9 planets, 7 continents, 194 countries, 50 states and 10 provinces...and I had the privilege to meet you.

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                #8
                Originally posted by BabyGund View Post
                Oh I don't know. We started talking April 22nd and by the 27th, we were in love and have been since. We're just over 4 months in and we meet for the first time in 2 months. It just depends on your relationship
                Oh, wow! That's amazing! Time and relationships really do work differently when you're far apart and all you're able to do is talk, talk, talk. Congrats on being able to see your SO in 2 months! That is so exciting! Wish you both all the luck.

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                  #9
                  Time is an odd concept. My boy and I had mused at how strange it seems that we've only known each other a seemingly short time if you look at it in terms of months but to us it seems like we've spent countless of years together. Maybe its just the way you click with someone that gives you that sense of attraction and that feeling of intensity. Personally, I'm very guarded and I find it easier to open up and relax online than I do in person but I still keep my defenses up in any case!
                  “The ties that binds us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; Because some ties are simply… meant to be.” - Grey’s Anatomy


                  >Little Box<



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                    #10
                    I can understand what you all are talking about! I am in a 3,5 months relationships and I already am addicted to the guy. I am afraid to call it love, but I really like him a lot. We firstly talked on IM and we couldn*t talk for hours on end (even though I would have loved it! - we spoke at most 1,5 hours) because he always excused himself and went offline. At first I was so mad at him, thinking that he had some other woman, but, as time passed, I learned that this is his way of being! Then we switched to talking on the phone. He is just a little strange when it comes to talking, because he doesn*t seem to want to talk daily (mostly every 2 days) and our conversations are 10-30 min long, and everytime I try to lengthen the conversation he seems to lose his focus. Sometimes he seems bored, not present in the conversation, but sometimes seems very opened, happy and glad to talk to me! I guess he*s not too much of a talker!!!! As for the texts he rarely sends them, I send him more often texts, but he always replies back. He has a stressful job and busy days and maybe that is why he gets tired when we speak. I started to get used to his way of being into the relationship, because I see that he is understanding, committed to our relationship (in his own way!!!!), sincere, intelligent, smart and respectful!!!! I want to hear his voice every day, that*s how dear he has become to me!
                    And we are only 3 weeks away from our first meeting!!!
                    Last edited by alizee; August 26, 2013, 01:28 AM.

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                      #11
                      I don't think it's entirely restricted to LDRs. I've been dating someone CD recently and we've met up a handful of times for several hours at a time (today it was 12) and I knew very early on that he was someone I was interested in pursuing a relationship with. My guard keeps me from falling head over heels, but I knew by about date two and had it confirmed on about date five that this is someone I am going to fall in love with if things keep going the way they are. Sometimes things develop very rapidly for some people, and I do think that given the right context, such as speaking for several hours at a time about anything and everything, you can very quickly and easily start to know that your relationship has the potential for something serious. Personally, I believe that love most definitely takes time, and once it's there, it needs to be nurtured in order to flourish, but I don't think it's all too unreasonable for it to occur when you spend so much time getting to know the nitty gritty of someone.

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