Feels Like I'm Losing Her
Hey all, first time poster long time member here. I've been in an LDR now for over a year with my honey (we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary this past June), and in that time, as with most relationships, we've had our ups and downs. Importantly, our downs have never been very down. We have never had major arguments and on the occasions when we've had disagreements, they have been short lived. Despite being on opposite ends of the planet (haha sounds dramatic), we love each other very much.
But the distance seems to be affecting her harder. Earlier in the Spring, she seemed to be losing interest in the relationship, and we had a "break" at her behest (which lasted not even 24 hours), and which led into what was probably the best couple of months of our whole relationship. However, very recently she has been distant again, and she claims she is simply bored of chatting me rather than having me in person, and it's affecting how she feels about me.
We can do nothing to bridge the distance at this point. She is young and living in the Philippines, and I, though 29, am currently in college and living at home to tend to my father, who is sickly (recovering from 2nd round of cancer). I just simply don't have the money nor the resources. I know this could be construed as being lazy or whatever, but I can say with all the honesty that I can, that if i could see her right this second, i would drop everything and do it. And I've made this clear to her...but the words are nothing versus the reality. I understand she wants the physical closeness of a boyfriend, as I wish she could be in my arms too. But I believe we are on the cusp of breaking up out of sheer discontent...and I don't want that to happen.
I'm not the needy or clingy type, yet I have lapsed several times in minor doses recently and I think this has only driven her further away. I am trying my best not to pressure her, or ask to spend time, or anything, really. I am just "here" for her, for when she is ready...but without some kind of action or incentive to continue the relationship, what else could I expect from the outcome?
So what I am asking is, if there is anything I could do to help make things more fun for her? To entertain her more? To show her how I feel without pushing her away? I think you can all tell by the tone of my words that I am at a loss. I have never loved someone so much, so deeply...in fact she is the only person I ever considered to be my wife, and this is also something we have openly discussed in the past. In fact at times it was a given that we practically acted like husband and wife, even teasing each other with the names "wifey" and "husby."
If anyone has any advice, I would be so grateful. My heart aches just thinking about this right now.
Thank you :')
But the distance seems to be affecting her harder. Earlier in the Spring, she seemed to be losing interest in the relationship, and we had a "break" at her behest (which lasted not even 24 hours), and which led into what was probably the best couple of months of our whole relationship. However, very recently she has been distant again, and she claims she is simply bored of chatting me rather than having me in person, and it's affecting how she feels about me.
We can do nothing to bridge the distance at this point. She is young and living in the Philippines, and I, though 29, am currently in college and living at home to tend to my father, who is sickly (recovering from 2nd round of cancer). I just simply don't have the money nor the resources. I know this could be construed as being lazy or whatever, but I can say with all the honesty that I can, that if i could see her right this second, i would drop everything and do it. And I've made this clear to her...but the words are nothing versus the reality. I understand she wants the physical closeness of a boyfriend, as I wish she could be in my arms too. But I believe we are on the cusp of breaking up out of sheer discontent...and I don't want that to happen.
I'm not the needy or clingy type, yet I have lapsed several times in minor doses recently and I think this has only driven her further away. I am trying my best not to pressure her, or ask to spend time, or anything, really. I am just "here" for her, for when she is ready...but without some kind of action or incentive to continue the relationship, what else could I expect from the outcome?
So what I am asking is, if there is anything I could do to help make things more fun for her? To entertain her more? To show her how I feel without pushing her away? I think you can all tell by the tone of my words that I am at a loss. I have never loved someone so much, so deeply...in fact she is the only person I ever considered to be my wife, and this is also something we have openly discussed in the past. In fact at times it was a given that we practically acted like husband and wife, even teasing each other with the names "wifey" and "husby."
If anyone has any advice, I would be so grateful. My heart aches just thinking about this right now.
Thank you :')
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