Tired of Logistics

[az.cmart]

I'm getting so sick of having to schedule skype calls, I just want to pick up my phone and call my SO like a normal person! We've tried to make weekly set times to have skype sessions but the way the time difference falls and both our schedules being not the most consistent it doesn't really work. We end up having to do a week by week, which leads to most of the time when we are able to talk we talking about when to talk! Gah! I don’t want to waste our time on skype guessing when we would be free the next week! However if we don’t at least tentatively plan it, my SO will make plans with friends so it doesn't work out. (Which is ok, I don't want him to not go out “just in case” I am free). Does anyone have any ideas on how to make the planning easier with schedules that are not as predictable?

[delightful]

Maybe you could set up a timetable of all the times you're busy throughout the week, maybe even for a few weeks at a time, and share them with each other and spend just one set period of time working out when you will/won't be able to call for say, a month in advance? At least this way you're not always spending your time talking about when you can call again; and it gives you something to look forward too as well!

[silvermoonfairy3]

What exactly is it that changes weekly? Is it work schedules?

[az.cmart]

Because of the way our time difference falls we usually talk over my lunch break. So on my end meetings and traveling to other offices can come up with a day of two notice. On his end it is generally hanging out with friends which is either spur of the moment or planned a day or two in advance. One of the problems is, it is unreasonable to ask him to set aside the whole night just 45 minutes of talking to each other but whatever he has planned before/after we talk enviably gets in the way. So we are trying to pick nights that he really has nothing going on.

[Lovebee]

I sympathise - my SO's work schedule can change on a daily basis, and even from hour to hour. He might have a completely empty afternoon when we might sit down and Skype, but something will come up and he'll be busy for the next three days.

One of the best times of day for us to talk turned out to be really early in the morning for me, and really late at night for him - if he could stay awake for an extra hour and I could set my alarm for early in the morning, we'd fit in a good hour's conversation. He'd even call AFTER he'd been out to see his friends of an evening, so he gets the chance to have his social life over there and still gets to talk to me. This kept us going through a really rough patch earlier this year when we were both feeling the strain in a big way.

Unfortunately I've just learned to be flexible and forgiving about his work schedule, and to value what little time we get to talk on a spontaneous basis. Very often these days one of us will send a WhatsApp message if we have some time to talk and see if the other is free, and if we are, great! If not, we have to find something else to do to pass the time.

It's tough, I hope you can figure out a good system soon. xxx

[loneliestgirl]

Perhaps you can set up an online calendar where you both update your schedules accordingly. It's not particularly romantic but it may cut down on some of the time you end up talking about schedules on your skype time.

[az.cmart]

I never though of asking him to call after he went out and came home. I would probably be able to steal a few minutes there on the weekdays and some time on the weekend. I think I need to just be a little more flexible, which I am not so good at. I think for my SO updating the calender would take more time then it would be worth, he isn't so organized. I appreciate all the ideas!

[az.cmart]

Talked to my SO about this today. He said he'd be willing to get up early to fit in a little talking before work! I was shocked as he is not morning person. Also he argeed that talking after he was home from going out made more sense then trying to fit it in before. We will still have to make an effort to fit in longer calls and actual video Skype but fitting in more shorter calls can let us schedule easier so it is a start! Thanks everyone!

[Lovebee]

You're welcome! I know how your SO feels - I'm not a morning person either, but if it means I get to talk to Cowboy, I'll get up at 3am if I have to (luckily I don't have to...)!

I probably only get one long call every six weeks with my SO, so calls little and often is much easier to maintain. He doesn't have wifi access so we can't even video call any longer, but I tell myself a voice call is better than nothing - and it is!

Good luck