THAT chat...

[Steph89]

ok, so I'm new here forgive me if I ramble!

So I've approximately been in a relationship with my SO for around 10 months, and we have had THE chat of what we want to happen in the future.. marriage, who will move where etc. I wanted to know if anyone else had this chat this early on in their relationship, how it went and if it actually worked out and how long it took to close the distance?

[Anoulie]

Haha. We actually had "the talk" before we even started going out (because we felt there wouldn't be a point to getting in the relationship if it wasn't going to go anywhere). The chat went pretty well since it was obvious to both of us that a) college is crazy expensive in the US and I could never afford to go to med school there, and b) my SO can basically work from anywhere that has an internet connection (such as my country).

[SJ22]

We spoke about marriage but not necessary in relation to each other.
Not like 'I want to marry you there and this way' more like 'I think this and that is nice'

[Benni]

B and I have been talking about it recently -- after over a year together. It won't happen until he retires in 2015 but it's still nice to talk about it.

[miss_jaclynrae]

We started talking about it about marriage and kids from the get go, in regards to each other? After about 4 months.
Now that I think about it, sooner than that even. We just knew from the get go what we wanted, and we have been completely open with one another, so those talks came about quickly.


We won't be getting married THAT soon, but we already know we are made for each other.

[Steph89]

We started talking about it about marriage and kids from the get go, in regards to each other? After about 4 months.
Now that I think about it, sooner than that even. We just knew from the get go what we wanted, and we have been completely open with one another, so those talks came about quickly.


We won't be getting married THAT soon, but we already know we are made for each other.

This is just how me and my SO are! We know we're meant to be with each other and it's what we both want in the end. It's just a matter of time before we can permanently be with each other ! It's good to know other people have had this chat so early, it's really comforting actually just to know that it's not so crazy!

[Lovebee]

After about... four days?! Cowboy and I were strolling around a little tourist town and I said something about furniture being one of my favourite things to shop for and he said "Just hold off on buying the furniture until I get you moved out here." And I just said "Oh, ok" like it was obvious.

[l3fty]

Before we started dating, I wrote him a long email about how I had this huge crush on him, then proceeded to tell him how I am looking for a partner that wants to marry and have children. If he didn't want this, then please give me the courtesy of getting over him.

I talk openly about marriage and children with him a lot, often affectionately asking him around others if it's baby making time yet. I love that it makes him laugh when I say this teasingly. I think he would be a wonderful father. (:

[Steph89]

Before we started dating, I wrote him a long email about how I had this huge crush on him, then proceeded to tell him how I am looking for a partner that wants to marry and have children. If he didn't want this, then please give me the courtesy of getting over him.

I talk openly about marriage and children with him a lot, often affectionately asking him around others if it's baby making time yet. I love that it makes him laugh when I say this teasingly. I think he would be a wonderful father. (:

We've spoken about it a lot too, because effectively that's how I'm eventually going to end up being able to get over there! Sometimes it does freak me out that we've spoken about something so serious so soon. I know it's what I want though and I'm so excited to start my life with him!😁

[Ejoriah]

Not long (less than a month) after becoming an "official" couple I asked him where he thought this would lead. He said he'd already thought about that - that he'd probably thought further ahead than I had. I told him that I'd thought about how to schedule my classes so visits could work better next semester - he told me he'd planned ahead that he'd want to marry me some day Now I can't wait for that day, either.

[Zapookie]

We have to get married in order to obtain a residency visa. We've spoken about it in detail although we aren't engaged yet. Originally we spoke about it before he moved to me for a year but neither of us were ready at the time because we wanted to live together first to see how it went. This time next year, we will hopefully be either married or planning a wedding.

[MZVIRGO82]

We have only been together a few months, but we have talked about marriage, children, etc before we became an official couple. We are both made it known that we weren't looking for a casual relationship or a fling from jump. No we are working towards marriage and building a life together. I'm not concerned about the when, where and how he will propose, I know it will happen when the time is right.

I think it is good to have those type of chats, helps you figure out of you and your s/o are on the same page with your relationship and where it's headed.

[Steph89]

We have to get married in order to obtain a residency visa. We've spoken about it in detail although we aren't engaged yet. Originally we spoke about it before he moved to me for a year but neither of us were ready at the time because we wanted to live together first to see how it went. This time next year, we will hopefully be either married or planning a wedding.

I feel like I'm in the same boat, getting married to be able to get the residency visa! It doesnt feel forced though, even if that wasn't the case I'd still see him as the person I will marry. Living together is the one thing we won't get to do beforehand, however I do feel I will have seen and spent so much time with him prior to that, that something would tell me if it wasn't going to work.

Getting to spend a year together, plus living together and then having to part again must have been so difficult!

[Hollandia]

Me and my SO had a difficult chat this summer. He wants me to move there as soon as we can meet the immigration requirements, and I feel I cannot. I don't wish to leave my country and my family and friends for a BF. I would however do it for my husband. He does not wish to rush or be rash about marriage and so for now we are deadlocked. We both want kids but we not kids ourselves but all is on hold till he is ready for lifelong commitment I need to make that step. That chat still weighs heavily on the back of my mind and I bet his as well. I don't regret having laid all the cards on the table and I don't feel a need to bring it up again. I don't know yet how long I will wait for him to get there, but mostly likely if he does not at some point, I will call it quits. Me and him both believe in marriage and I don't wish to be anyone's stepping stone. For now, I am content knowing were have been completely open and honest with each other about it. I don't relish having that chat again anytime soon unless it had a more definate positive ending date for certain things, I think dwelling it on will only cause problems. The only thing I can do is continue as we are and if it is meant to be it will and if not it won't.

[80anthea]

Yep we talked about it pretty early on too, it just seemed right from the start.