How has being in an LDR change you?

Hey guys,

I'm here to propose an interesting question: how has being in an LDR changed you? For the better/worse? What have you learned? I think that we've all learned important things, and become different people from being in LDRs.

Here's my response:

Being in an LDR has taught me to be less of the impatient person I am: patience really is a virtue. It's taught me that age is merely a number; it's really more about people's emotional maturity. Since I'm in an international LDR, I'm more aware of other cultures, and now know a couple Dutch phrases. Love shows up when you least expect it, and there's always room for growth and improvement.

What about you? ^_^

[Deleted]

Oop, I just realised I made a typo in the topic title >.> should be 'changed', not 'change'...

[innocentbutterfly]

well, from my viewpoint, being in two LD relationships and one near to be..I can only say bad experiences. I know not many people stay around here after their LDRs went bad, so that's why usually we just read good experiences. But I can honestly say, I would never, ever, recommend a LDR to anyone. It's just a nerve wrecking, energy consuming kind of relationship that in the end drains you too bad. There's good moments. But most of the times there's too many differences, you can clash together perfectly and maybe culture or religion will come down striking on you. Not too mention the moments of loneliness you feel seeing your SO just a few times a year. I still am in a LDR, that I believe it's in its final steps exactly because of that cultural/religious/distance problem. So I never plan to go there again when this is over. Ever.

[alizee]

This is my first LDR, so I have learned to be very patient, understanding and confident ... but there*s the negative part - the loneliness, crazy thoughts that go through your head, the insecurities .... it*s hard mentally to be in an LDR !!!

[Alsfia]

Trust
Language barriers are a pain (though I already knew that being a minority and all but even more now when I have to translate almost everything to my elderly relatives)
I have family or friends to my family literally EVERYWHERE
I'm happiest where I live now (even if I would move to my SO)
Compromise
And the list goes on...

[TwoThree]

well, from my viewpoint, being in two LD relationships and one near to be..I can only say bad experiences. I know not many people stay around here after their LDRs went bad, so that's why usually we just read good experiences. But I can honestly say, I would never, ever, recommend a LDR to anyone. It's just a nerve wrecking, energy consuming kind of relationship that in the end drains you too bad. There's good moments. But most of the times there's too many differences, you can clash together perfectly and maybe culture or religion will come down striking on you. Not too mention the moments of loneliness you feel seeing your SO just a few times a year. I still am in a LDR, that I believe it's in its final steps exactly because of that cultural/religious/distance problem. So I never plan to go there again when this is over. Ever.

I'm sorry to sound a bit harsh, but you had the misfortune to be in a LDR with a... not very decent man (to remain polite) so you are really generalizing here. If my SO and I were to break up tomorrow I am certain I'll look back on our relationship with a lot of fondness and I could even say that it's so far the best thing that's happened in my life, bad times included. And I wouldn't rag on LDR's to other people either because some people can deal with it, some don't, and until you are in one you can't know how you'll deal with it.

[miss_jaclynrae]

To appreciate time.
If there is one thing I vow to do once we are together, is appreciate the time and make the absolute best of it.
I have learned that some relationships really are easy, and they just work... and even if this one doesn't pan out in the long run, I will never again settle to be with someone where I feel like we are constantly having to "work" on our relationship.
I was worried since we started our relationship together, that it would change once we were apart. Things were amazing together, but how could something so amazing together continue to be as amazing apart? Well, I learned that in the right relationship, it simply does.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I'm sorry to sound a bit harsh, but had the misfortune to be in a LDR with a... not very decent man (to remain polite) so you are really generalizing here. If my SO and I were to break up tomorrow I am certain I'll look back on our relationship with a lot of fondness and I could even say that it's so far the best thing that's happened in my life, bad times included. And I wouldn't rag on LDR's to other people either because some people can deal with it, some don't, and until you are in one you can't know how you'll deal with it.

Totally agree with this.

[LadyDaemon]

I'm sorry to sound a bit harsh, but had the misfortune to be in a LDR with a... not very decent man (to remain polite) so you are really generalizing here. If my SO and I were to break up tomorrow I am certain I'll look back on our relationship with a lot of fondness and I could even say that it's so far the best thing that's happened in my life, bad times included. And I wouldn't rag on LDR's to other people either because some people can deal with it, some don't, and until you are in one you can't know how you'll deal with it.

I'd have to say I agree with this.

OT: I would have to say when I was LD I learned how to trust again. I learned that there will be struggle sometimes,but at the end of the day nothing worth having comes easy. So if it's not easy,it's probably worth it. I've learned what true selflessness looks like. I've learned that some people/couples do get second chances and it doesn't always fail. I learned not to sabotage my relationship with bad thoughts because of my own fear and bad past experiences with others. I've finally learned what it's like to have a man that I can share time and space with that universe saw fit to give to me,a man that at the end of the day is my best friend and that I love more then life itself. I've learned what true uninhibited love is.

[aniay]

The distance doesn't means you are apart.

You can feel more loved, accepted and cared for with the right person being half of the world away than with the wron person being beside you.

You talk about everything and you find things to talk about because that's all you can talk about.
You talk about and are interested in most mundane and seemingly unimportant things.

[moonsong]

Being in a LDR has shown me that i have patience, that distance doesnt matter and neither does age :3

[AussiesPet]

The distance doesn't means you are apart.

You can feel more loved, accepted and cared for with the right person being half of the world away than with the wron person being beside you.

You talk about everything and you find things to talk about because that's all you can talk about.
You talk about and are interested in most mundane and seemingly unimportant things.

VERY true!
I've learned to be much more patient, how to really trust, temper control, that I CAN be happy and most of all what it is to truly love and be loved.. The feeling of being trusted with that love is one of the most incredible feelings, one i never knew existed before now..

Thank you my love..

[Lovebee]

I've become more honest about what I want from life, and less willing to settle for the mediocre. And I've learned what it feels like to be loved, and safe in a relationship.

[snow]

Quite honestly it made me much happier!
I never felt so loved, even when I couldn't actually be with my man.
I learned to feel real trust and I worked a lot on my communication skills.

[blankita719]

Patience has never been a virtue of mine, but this relationship has taught me that good things do come to those who wait. It's also taught me to learn how to pick my battles. We only have so much time together on the phone, or Skype, or in person - do I really want to argue about him not picking up his socks off the living room floor? And as a bonus, being LD brought me to this forum where I've met some really cool and interesting people and made some awesome friendships