Am I crazy?

[queenlavender]

Hi! I am new to the site and to long distance relationships. My SO is from Nigeria but lives in Malaysia where he went to get his masters degree and is now working. I am here in Atlanta, GA. We met on facebook.....even though I told myself I would NEVER start another relationship with someone I met on Facebook. Before he inboxed me I often got friend requests and messages from other Nigerian guys (I'm not sure what it is about Nigerian guys) that told me that they wanted me to be their wife. Of course seeing a message like this and they have only seen my pictures I figured they were full of crap. I don't even know how they found my page. This particular guy is on a mutual persons fan page. We read her posts often. One day as I'm reading one of the posts, I see a comment that I find interesting and like a normal facebooker I clicked like. Out of habit I clicked on the guys' profile and looked thru the pictures. I thought he was cute but saw that he was in Malaysia and quickly went back to what I was doing before. The next day when I check my facebook this same guy has requested to be my friend and has inboxed me. We started to chat. We exchange the basics (single? kids? what do you do? where are you from?) When he said he was from Nigeria I immediately thought oh jeez! Here we go again. Initially, I was not interested mainly because he lived so far away and I felt like I didn't want to move and he didn't want to move so why even start a relationship. But he was persistent. We chatted and skyped often. Well I ended up falling so deeply in love with this guy. A love I have never felt for a guy before. I want to tell my friends and family how much of an awesome guy he is and my plans to visit him and his plans to move here but I know they will think I'm crazy. It all seems so surreal to me. Meet a guy on facebook, fall in love miles and miles apart, close the distance, get married, have kids, live happily ever after. LOL! Sometimes I wonder if it's real or not but when we talk and the way he looks at me when he is expressing himself about me just melts me and I know he is being sincere and genuine. I guess my question is am I crazy for thinking this guy could actually be the one? Is it unrealistic to think this will work? I really and truly believe it will but i'm pretty sure I will get a lot of doubt and negativity from my family and friends. One of my friends already told me to cut it off because she thinks he will hurt me. I respect her opinion for telling me as friend but she isn't there when we talk so of course she doesn't know the tone or anything else of the conversation. Please help. I need some encouragement. Thanks! Sorry so long!

[lucybelle]

Honestly I would proceed with caution. There is an insane amount of fraudulent relationships that come out of Nigeria. Are all of them fakers? Of course not. There are plenty of real, genuine relationships. But be wary, especially since you were sent so many messages before.

For both of your sake, I really hope this is the real deal. LDR's can and do work. Plenty of people meet online, and those relationships can and do work. Best wishes.

[Moon]

Relax, your relationship, according to your info, is only a month old. Don't even talk or think about being in love or "the one" yet. There are an extraordinary amount of scams coming out of Nigeria, just like lucybelle said, so you need to seriously take this slow and protect yourself, just in case. He's probably legitimate, but it's still too early to tell your family and friends, and plan visits; a month is nothing, what's the rush? It's not even remotely crazy to fall for someone online (or this place wouldn't exist!), but don't let that first hormonal rush let you do anything crazy. Good luck.

[mllebamako]

I'll just echo what lucybelle and moon said: take it slow and be careful. It's obviously possibly to find love online (ask half the people on LFAD), but your relationship is new and it's coming from a place that is known for scams and, at least in West Africa, Nigerian men have a pretty negative reputation.

[Deleted]

I have to second everybody here. Take things slow and know your boundaries/limits. This relationship is new, so let things grow! Make sure you're out of the honeymoon phase before you start thinking about anything serious. I wish you the best!

[80anthea]

I don't think you're crazy but I do think you need to be careful

[LadyDaemon]

I concur with all of the others. LDRs can and do work,but just watch and protect yourself. Don't rush into anything you may not be able to get yourself out of.

[Cinderella]

Omg fully the same happened to me!
My love is from India. We met on a drawing page and we talked every day. Before i met him i never accepted anyone on fb (except my close friends)
But i felt sg special as soon as i saw him. It happened 7 months ago and i still feel sg magical. i love him more than anything in this world!
And now both of our parents and friends know about us and support us in every way they can. I havent met him yet but i hope soon we can!
I cant wait to feel him, im really deeply in love.
everyone of my friends had told me that it wasnt love and maybe he was a liar but now they like him and talk to him often
and i chat with his friends and all of them are kind with me.
im a bit afraid of cultural differences but im sure love will win!

sorry for my long story and my bad english but i hope you can understand
God bless you

[silvermoonfairy3]

Not to be repetitive, but like others said, do be careful.
Nigeria is a very common scam country, and it's possible that you've gotten so many messages from Nigerians in the past because they're fishing for people to scam.

Of course, this guy could be genuine and not a scammer, and that'd be awesome. But take it slow, don't let yourself get so caught up in it that you can't see clearly, and if anything starts feeling not right, listen to that instinct.

[abna1]

It's not crazy at all, but as the others have said just be careful. I know in the beginning you don't want to doubt the person you're with, but in your situation it's important to know what to look out for. If you get a chance, check out the short documentary " The Sakawa Boys". It's from Ghana, but what they do is quite similar to the Nigerian scammers when it comes to their methods. I've seen some them at internet cafes around the country. I don't want to discourage you in any way, but just take care. I really hope he's a nice and genuine guy

[Fretboard_Magic]

Well, be careful and whatnot. That's important... BUT, if you feel like he's the one, and you can't help but think about the future with him and stuff, that's totally natural. Just take it SLOW. Don't worry too much if you start thinking he's the one. I think my girl's the one right now, only after 7 months of knowing her and almost 6 months of dating her. She thinks about her future with me, too. BUT, we're also not caught up in that particular idea because we know it's still too soon to come to a particular conclusion in regards to that far into the future. Take one step at a time and get to know each other better. If you guys start thinking in terms of your future together, marriage, whether or not you're each other's soulmate, stuff like that... Well, I say don't obsess over those things but ENJOY them anyway! Talk to him openly about these things. I do with my girlfriend and it really seems to make our relationship that much easier to deal with.

All the best.

[queenlavender]

Thank you guys so much for your advice! I did a little digging and even though everything seems ok right now it's still early. I kind of know what to look out for now. I guess I'm all caught up because things are new and he's not like anybody I have dealt with anyone in the past. I'll take my time with this one because I don't need any more heartache whether they are long distance or local and I definitely will not be dishing out any money so I don't have to worry about my pocketbook. This was very helpful! Thanks again!

[Jahonshoh]

I had the same SHIT! Yeah! Im really disappointed in this kind of relationship... But i can understand you... So its the most beautiful moments... My advice for you is only one: try to meet with him as soon as possible.. Cauz i hadnt this chanse, then she cheated on me... And i dont care what the others think., cauz i loved her... So you are not crazy.. But you need to act..