I don't know what to do now...

[Jhawk]

Right, so, fast forward a few weeks from my last thread post...

I've told my SO how I feel about her... She's not said anything about me and how she feels, I guess she needs time to take it all in.

Part of me wants to bring it up - wants us to have a discussion about our feelings for one another and whether anything can be done to get us closer together, or whether a decision can be made to travel together in a couple of years time - once she's done her University education and once I've sorted all my crap out over in Canada so that I can travel.

We converse on Skype and Facebook, usually once or twice a week with Skype, Facebook it's more of an every day thing. But as each day passes, and our conversations go by - fun and exciting and refreshing though they are, I cannot help but feel like I've missed an opportunity to bring up what's most pressing me - what are we to do about how I feel about you, and how can we close the distance between us. Because I think that I have a serious chance at being a boyfriend to her... But I'm scared that she's already put me in the friend zone and I hate it.

And so, I don't know what to do. I think that the, "This is how I feel, this is what I think we should do about it." conversation would be best had over Skype. But, again, I don't know when is the right time to have that conversation. And as much as I want to remain optimistic about our chances of being together, it is difficult.

Any and all help is much appreciated.

Thanks,

Jack.

[Karlijn92]

Hi Jack,

How long is it been since you confessed your feelings about her? If it's only recently, then maybe she stills needs time to take it all in. And if not, maybe try and bring it up carefully. Try to bring it up on Skype, personally I think that's more sincere and she can't just "walk away from it".
You already told how you feel about her and you have the right to know how she feels about you, whether it's the same or not.

Good luck to you!

[squeeker]

Hi Jack. Maybe you could slip it in the conversation.. but don't pressure her on her response. But just try and keep talking to her and trying to tell her how you feel. But try not to be clingy because she might be freaked out by it. I don't really have much other advice from what I've told you before. The biggest one is.. if you really like/love this girl, then HAVE PATIENCE! If you don't, then chill out and just be friends.

[Deleted]

Maybe she thinks you're moving too fast? You know what you want with her, but maybe she doesn't know what she wants quite yet. I second Karlijn: give her time to process. You said what you can, now the ball's in her court. I know it's hard, but patience is key!

Good luck!

[differentcountries]

There is a thousand miles between "this is what I feel" and "This is what I think we should do about it". It she has not confirmed that she feels as strongly as you do, there is no point in planning a future with her. At first you should just be patient with her. If time drags on, you can try to say " I know you may need time to decide, but I also have a right to know". If then you are on the same page, all the practicalities of your future relationship will get sorted out. First you need to sort out her.

[folclor]

I agree, have some patience and see where things go. If she doesn't end up liking you the way you like her you'll just be hurt more by planning what never can be.

That being said, my boyfriend told me he loved me at least a month before I returned the sentiment. So it can take a while. Have y'all ever broached the topic of dating before?

[Lucky]

There is not much you can do really, like others said, she might still be in a bit of a shock.

The first time my now husband suggested we meet in person I thought he was just teasing me or that I was giving his words different meaning out of wishful thinking... is there any chance she might have not taken it seriously?

I remember trying to keep our conversation friendly and normal after his suggestion, he then was crystal clear about him wanting to meet me, it was no longer a playful suggestion but a question and he even was gentleman enough to throw in there an easy way out for me, adding that if I was not interested he would not bring it up again and that he hoped it didn't make me uncomfortable because he enjoys my letters, that we can continue being just penpals.