We're not spending Christmas together :'(

[jess_mp]

Hello everyone

I would like to get some advices on what to do on Christmas day. Last year I visited my boyfriend for Christmas, but this year is not going to be possible since we both are so broke and cannot afford traveling. It really breaks my heart and it has me a little depressed to think I won't spend Christmas with my bf, to the point that I am hating these days! I wish it was already January and everything was normal... but looking at all people buying gifts, spending time with their love ones, makes me sad.
My boyfriend doesn't really have a family who to spend christmas with. His dad died years ago and he doesn't have a good relationship with his mom and sister. He's always been a loner. And I could visit my family who lives in another town, 6 hours from where I live, but to be honest I don't want to.
My boyfriend is a little down too, because I won't be there with him like last year. I already sent him a Christmas gift (bought him a nice sweater) to cheer him up, but I think it's not enough. Have any of you gone through this? how do you guys celebrate these holidays? (the ones who won't spend Christmas together).
I was thinking of going on cam on December 25th, with a santa claus hat lol, and the same for New year, waiting for the new year on skype with him.
:'(
Apart from this awful month, the good thing is that we'll close the distance next summer. We're already working on the visa thing, and I just have to wait 6 more months to move to my bf's country. That's the only thing that makes me happy right now, thinking of the future. I miss him so much.

[squeeker]

Hey there! I'm sorry you can't be together for the holidays in person this year. I'm in the same boat.. I haven't spent Christmas with my boyfriend in person ever since we met. (our first visit I flew in November, and since then we realized it was better for me to come in summer because I could fly direct into Manchester instead of going through London or having a layover). We do the skype chats for the holiday time. We talk every day, but it will be nice on Christmas to see his face. I bought him a few things too.

I can see how it would make it even harder that he has no family near him. My boyfriend also does not have a good relationship with his mum or sisters (he has had a traumatic past that stemmed from this his mum did) but fortunately he won't be alone because his dad will be there and their dog. I guess it might be a bit easier for me since I haven't spent Christmas there yet but also I think about all the Christmases in the future years when we finally close the distance we will be able to spend together in person.

I think you are very lucky though that you are going to be able to close the distance in 6 months. I probably won't even be with my boyfriend in person for longer than 6 months. And I know we can get through it. Because we love each other and are not going to give up on each other. Yeah it may be hard.

But focus on the positives. You have an amazing man who you love and who you will get to talk to and see during the holidays, and that is awesome and amazing, and you will even get to close the distance in less than a year most likely so good luck with that and stay strong! You can do this!!

[jana89]

Hey, Im in the same situation. After two Christmases that we spent together, we will be apart this year for both Christmas and New Year Eve. I am preparing a big box of gifts that I am gonna send him, but still it is so sad that I will not be able to see his face when he opens it We might have a Skype date on New Year Eve, cause it seems that both of us will be home alone. He should come for a visit in March and then in summer we could close distance, so hopefully everyting will work and this is gonna be the last holiday we will ever spend apart. Good luck to you all

[Ahava]

Arghhh...had technical troubles...
I'm also in the same boat. We were supposed to spend part of the holidays together (not the actual Christmas, as we both have children). He was first supposed to come over here.
But our schedules just didn't work. Then he suggested I go there for new years if he'd split the costs with me, but that didn't work either (flight schedules didn't work and the prices were sky high).
I had a good cry over it and then accepted the fact and life goes on. He was also down about it. Last year he came over for a long weekend between Christmas and New Year.
He should be coming over in January though.
I understand how you feel about the whole Christmas season, what is the point, if you can't be with your loved ones, right.
Luckily I have kids so it makes life busy and seen their excitement etc, gives a reason to enjoy Christmas
Take care and chin up! Maybe next Christmas

[differentcountries]

I know, it is superhard to be apart at the holidays. For me, at least. SO has never celebrated Christmas in his life (is a muslim in a muslim country) and don't care much for New Year's Eve celebrations. Still, he likes a good party when he is not working - and would love to party with me. I thought long and hard about maybe going away for Christmas, or at least parts of it - but it would not work well; I have obligations here, and it would be just sad going there and not having the uppertunity to attend anything Christmas-related while there. New Year would be better, but I have already made plans for that here, too. I think I will arrange Skype dates on both Christmas and New Year. That way he can admire my nice dresses and I can get at bit of his support (he says he would celebrate with he if we were together. I am thinking that next year, perhaps we are). I am gonna make him a little present (will not say that it is a Christmas gift, he can open it whenever he wants). He is coming over i January and I will arrange a party then.

Why not go see your family for Christmas? If you like them, that is...

[piratemama]

I'm sorry you can be together for Christmas. I think the ideas you have are great, esp. the Santa hat. I won't be able to be with my SO at all, not even Skyping. He will be on a cruise the 13th thru 21st, then his family will be with him through the end of the year. I'm sure we will be able to talk on the phone a few times, but I'm going to miss him so much. I'm praying next year will be different.

Try to share something with him over Skype. For example, if you could both have cookies and eggnog (or other beverage) at the same time. Things like that help to connect. Hope it works out for you.

[nicole]

I'm sorry, I've had a few Christmases without my SO and it sucked. All my family was coupled up which made it even worse. I just treated it as a good day with my family and tried not to feel lonely. I was moving to the US to be with my SO, so I knew my family Christmases were numbered. I skyped with him for 10 minutes because he was with his family too, and that's all I saw of him till the next day.

Do you get along with your family? It might be a pain to travel the 6 hours, but if you're moving away, it might be a good thing to spend the day with them. I know the thought is daunting, but you will probably enjoy yourself more with people around you, to stop you dwelling on not being with your SO. Alternatively, like others have mentioned, you could both skype and to something a little special? My SO and I used to prepare the same meal and eat together sometimes, maybe make a little christmas party for the 2 of you?

[jess_mp]

Hey there! I'm sorry you can't be together for the holidays in person this year. I'm in the same boat.. I haven't spent Christmas with my boyfriend in person ever since we met. (our first visit I flew in November, and since then we realized it was better for me to come in summer because I could fly direct into Manchester instead of going through London or having a layover). We do the skype chats for the holiday time. We talk every day, but it will be nice on Christmas to see his face. I bought him a few things too.

I can see how it would make it even harder that he has no family near him. My boyfriend also does not have a good relationship with his mum or sisters (he has had a traumatic past that stemmed from this his mum did) but fortunately he won't be alone because his dad will be there and their dog. I guess it might be a bit easier for me since I haven't spent Christmas there yet but also I think about all the Christmases in the future years when we finally close the distance we will be able to spend together in person.

I think you are very lucky though that you are going to be able to close the distance in 6 months. I probably won't even be with my boyfriend in person for longer than 6 months. And I know we can get through it. Because we love each other and are not going to give up on each other. Yeah it may be hard.

But focus on the positives. You have an amazing man who you love and who you will get to talk to and see during the holidays, and that is awesome and amazing, and you will even get to close the distance in less than a year most likely so good luck with that and stay strong! You can do this!!

Thanks squeeker for your reply, it makes me feel better to read I'm not the only one in this boat. You seem like a strong person who can put up with distance better than me! you're right, I'll be closing the distance in less than a year, and I should be thankful for that, besides, we both will be able to see our boyfriends on cam, and spend time with them.
Have you seen this movie "Going the distance"? I think this will be us https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NY1101J4JAs
It might not be so bad, besides, time flies and when we notice, these holidays will be over hehe, I'll think about the Christmases in the future years too!! that will inspire me. Right now I just want to save money, work hard to get the visa, and be a nice girlfriend for my bf. Thanks for your reply.

[jess_mp]

Hey, Im in the same situation. After two Christmases that we spent together, we will be apart this year for both Christmas and New Year Eve. I am preparing a big box of gifts that I am gonna send him, but still it is so sad that I will not be able to see his face when he opens it We might have a Skype date on New Year Eve, cause it seems that both of us will be home alone. He should come for a visit in March and then in summer we could close distance, so hopefully everyting will work and this is gonna be the last holiday we will ever spend apart. Good luck to you all

Wow wow!! Congrats on closing the distance very soon jana89! Having a Skype date on New Year sounds good, I'll do that with my boyfriend too. I will buy me a bottle of champagne or wine to open it with him on cam, I'll play nice music, wear something nice for him, and try to spend a good time together. I still will be sad, and I might cry because he's not here, but I also want to make him feel comfortable and good.
A visit in March sounds pretty soon too!!! good luck!
If our plans work, my boyfriend will come to Mexico for the first time in July, to pick me up to take me to his country!! and help me move. I'll introduce him to my family, friends, colleagues! I can't wait. I have been wanting this so much! I wanna show him around, my city and the food from here!
Finally next summer we will close the distance, and as you said: it's going to be the last holiday we will ever spend apart! so we should be happy, and looking forward to starting New year! A new year full of hopes for all of us! wish you well to all of you!

[jess_mp]

Arghhh...had technical troubles...
I'm also in the same boat. We were supposed to spend part of the holidays together (not the actual Christmas, as we both have children). He was first supposed to come over here.
But our schedules just didn't work. Then he suggested I go there for new years if he'd split the costs with me, but that didn't work either (flight schedules didn't work and the prices were sky high).
I had a good cry over it and then accepted the fact and life goes on. He was also down about it. Last year he came over for a long weekend between Christmas and New Year.
He should be coming over in January though.
I understand how you feel about the whole Christmas season, what is the point, if you can't be with your loved ones, right.
Luckily I have kids so it makes life busy and seen their excitement etc, gives a reason to enjoy Christmas
Take care and chin up! Maybe next Christmas

I'm sorry you won't be able to spend New Year with your bf Ahava. But as you said, life goes on. And if you have kids, I'm sure they'll make it easier for you. I might spend some time with my family too. Family is important too and we should not forget that.
I know flight tickets are crazy expensive, but fortunately there will be some deals after the crazy holidays. I hope you manage to see your love sometime in January. Thanks for replying and happy holidays for you.

[jess_mp]

I know, it is superhard to be apart at the holidays. For me, at least. SO has never celebrated Christmas in his life (is a muslim in a muslim country) and don't care much for New Year's Eve celebrations. Still, he likes a good party when he is not working - and would love to party with me. I thought long and hard about maybe going away for Christmas, or at least parts of it - but it would not work well; I have obligations here, and it would be just sad going there and not having the uppertunity to attend anything Christmas-related while there. New Year would be better, but I have already made plans for that here, too. I think I will arrange Skype dates on both Christmas and New Year. That way he can admire my nice dresses and I can get at bit of his support (he says he would celebrate with he if we were together. I am thinking that next year, perhaps we are). I am gonna make him a little present (will not say that it is a Christmas gift, he can open it whenever he wants). He is coming over i January and I will arrange a party then.

Why not go see your family for Christmas? If you like them, that is...

Yep, I might go see my family some days... I think you're so lucky that he's coming to visit you in January!!!! I mean January is around the corner! Best thing for you, as u said, it is to arrange a Skype date, like many of us lol. Aww, knowing that I won't be the only one celebrating via skype makes me feel more relaxed. I'm sure your bf will love your dresses! nice idea

[jess_mp]

I'm sorry you can be together for Christmas. I think the ideas you have are great, esp. the Santa hat. I won't be able to be with my SO at all, not even Skyping. He will be on a cruise the 13th thru 21st, then his family will be with him through the end of the year. I'm sure we will be able to talk on the phone a few times, but I'm going to miss him so much. I'm praying next year will be different.

Try to share something with him over Skype. For example, if you could both have cookies and eggnog (or other beverage) at the same time. Things like that help to connect. Hope it works out for you.

Awww, sweetheart, I'm so sorry to hear you won't be able to spend Christmas with your bf. Not even on Skype! :O I spend sooooo much time with my bf on skype, you guys have no idea! maybe 4 hours a day... gosh! These days we've been spending more time cuz I'm on vacation, so I consider myself lucky to see his face everyday. Anyways, I think time flies, it really does!!! so don't worry you will see him soon. Calling each other by phone is sweet too.
I pray next year will be different for all of us too!
Thanks for the idea of the cookies! eating the same thing at the same time... mmm, I'll send my bf some food, definitely, yay! and that will make him feel happy, my bf loves food! lol.

[jess_mp]

I'm sorry, I've had a few Christmases without my SO and it sucked. All my family was coupled up which made it even worse. I just treated it as a good day with my family and tried not to feel lonely. I was moving to the US to be with my SO, so I knew my family Christmases were numbered. I skyped with him for 10 minutes because he was with his family too, and that's all I saw of him till the next day.

Do you get along with your family? It might be a pain to travel the 6 hours, but if you're moving away, it might be a good thing to spend the day with them. I know the thought is daunting, but you will probably enjoy yourself more with people around you, to stop you dwelling on not being with your SO. Alternatively, like others have mentioned, you could both skype and to something a little special? My SO and I used to prepare the same meal and eat together sometimes, maybe make a little christmas party for the 2 of you?

Party for the 2 of us! yeah, it's exactly what I'd like to do. I'm glad you guys already closed the distance, thanks for sharing your past experiences. And I am going to think a way to spend time with both, family and bf, cuz they both are important to me.
Preparing the same meal sounds so good! thanks.

[BabyGund]

We won't be together for the holidays either....but I know we'll be in touch. We're both very low key so the celebrations will be at home with immediate family. No traveling and we'll be online together. Which is better than nothing.

[piratemama]

I'm glad you liked the idea of cookies. I've sent my SO cookies, too. His favorite is Oatmeal Raisinet. It's just great doing anything together at the same time to connect. I hope you find a way to make the holidays better. Thanks for commenting on my reply; you made my day. Right now I'm feeling no one notices me. It's such a down time without my SO. I'm praying next year I can be with my SO during Christmas. Good luck with everything.