Stuck on closing the distance/visa questions USA to Brazil

[teachernicole]

Hi everyone. This might be a long post...ANY advice is appreciated!!

On January 2nd, 2014, I married Phillip in the United States. We are legally married here. Now, we are planning to start the visa process and I am utterly lost and confused. My plan is to follow the information in this brochure from the UCISC:
https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/...urces/A1en.pdf
Question #1: Is this EVERYTHING we have to do for Phillip to come here and be a legal resident? From what I understand, which could be totally wrong, the K-3 is for Phillip to come here legally while he awaits the visa we are applying for in that link? Do we need that?
Question #2: Can you be denied the visa, as a petitioner, if you don't make a lot money? I don't make a lot of money, but I own a house and I am able to support myself here. While Phillip finds work, my mom has offered to help us financially (she is in the position to do so) if we ever need it. I was thinking since I own a house (which Phillip helped pay for) that they might overlook my income? Any thoughts?
Our next problem is kind of a big one. We are both tied to our countries. Phillip is a contract lawyer working for a big company. He is reluctant to leave it because he graduated high school at 16, spent 5 years in college, 2 years in exams to become a lawyer, and has finally reached his goal after 10 years. I also DO NOT want him to leave his work. There are only some states (so thankful my state is one of them) where Phillip can practice as a foreign lawyer. However, I live in a pretty rural part of New York so he'd have to travel a lot or move somewhere else to go to college which would make us long distance AGAIN. He found out that New York doesn't accept online LLM degrees which is what he needs to start with. I am tied here because I am a firefighter and a state organization is paying for my college. I have to complete several years of service (I've completed almost 2 years of service so far) before I can leave being a firefighter, or I have to pay everything back (we can't afford that and I love being a firefighter). We also just bought a house with the help of my mother (which we probably shouldn't have done so quickly). I feel like we've made some missteps and we are set back by a lot. We thought of other things, such as opening a Brazilian restaurant in a nearby tourist city. We planned it out with my mom and my brother and it seems realistic. But again, he'd have to give up being a lawyer, at least for the time being, and he doesn't like that prospect, which I understand.
Question #3: Do you know of any options he might have for jobs? He was looking into working for the FBI or the CIA, but he'd still need to go back to college for it. And we'd still be long distance, but in the US, until I finish my terms of service. It seems like everything that might work with his degree and experience he can't do for some reason.
It seems like any step we take to close the distance, one of us is making a HUGE sacrifice and the other isn't making any. When we do close the distance, I don't want this to cause tension between us. It already has and we haven't even really begun anything yet. We also are approaching this differently. I think we should take it one step at a time. Legalize our marriage in Brazil, file his visa, then worry about finding a job and college here. He wants to worry and freak out about everything all at once and I feel like that just makes everything worse.
If you take the time to read all of this, thank you. I really appreciate any responses, even if it's just to say good luck.

Nicole

Edit: I just realized the title says USA to Brazil. Technically, it's Brazil to USA hehe.

[piratemama]

Well, I certainly do wish you good luck. You both need to take a deep breath. I don't know a thing about visas, but I know what anxiety can do to you. You can get so worked up that you can't see the forest for the trees. First, you will work it out. It may take time, but it will work out. Hopefully, some folks on this forum have some info to help you.

I'm sorry about the tension, but it's to be expected with all you both are going through. When you two get through this, you will be stronger as a result. Hang in there. Take that deep breath and keep researching.

Hope this works out quicker and easier than you imagine.

[teachernicole]

We do need to take a deep breath and calm down. I think in the back of our minds, we have both thought, "What if this doesn't work out?" But I know we can do it. Thank you for your reassuring words.

[teachernicole]

It looks like it's impossible to close the distance.

[mllebamako]

It looks like it's impossible to close the distance.

...Why?

[teachernicole]

Well, not impossible, but not possible for right now. We got into a fight last night and we just can't find a solution.

[Moon]

I've avoided this thread, because you probably won't like what I have to say. Sorry about that. But for right now, yeah, looking pretty impossible. You are probably going to be waiting a few years. You also need to realize that once you can close it, his career as a lawyer is going to have much more earning potential than you'll ever, ever have as a firefighter, no matter how much you love it. At 19, you do not realize just how much that matters, it's huge. You're probably going to have to live in your house until you satisfy your education obligations to the fire company, or whoever, then sell and move closer to where he'll get work. Then you can look to buy again, once you can get him over here, and your employment situations are secured . Being in love isn't enough reason to get married, you need to get the details ironed out first, you didn't do that, now you have to find a different, not necessarily ideal, way to work it out. Have patience, and be unselfish, and you might be able to do it. You really might have to forgo what you want in order to do that, at least for a few years, but marriage is all about compromise, and what makes the most sense for your relationship, not as individuals. Good luck.

[conejita_hada]

I agree with what Moon said, to complete your obligations and then he can work toward getting his certifications as a lawyer in the US, if the decision between both of you is to live in the US.
For your first question, honestly, consult with a lawyer. Your marriage should naturally be legally recognized in Brazil (might have to fill out a few forms) but since the countries are diplomatic "friends" there should be no reason for it not to be. I'm not sure how his immigration process will work if he got married and then left the US again. A legal consultation would probably be your best bet to understand that process.
Second question, I think the restaurant idea just brings more complication into the picture (a risky one since restaurants may or may not work) and is something neither of you necessarily want. If you guys settle in the US, have him get the LLM, a bit extra school is nothing for being able to practice law again, and as Moon said, he'll have great earning potential, which is necessary.
Third question, working for the CIA or FBI are lofty goals. Not that it can't be done but right after immigration, it's unlikely. He will probably have to go through more schooling. Honestly, just have him focus on the LLM. He likes being a lawyer and it's the most direct, most promising option for his career and stability for both of you.

Closing the distance isn't impossible, you just have to postpone it. Take a step away from all the ideas and give each of them a critical run-through. What are the pros and cons? Are the cons significant or can they be dealt with easily? There is a chance he could do a student visa to obtain his LLM and then change his visa status with the completion of the LLM to permanent resident because of your marriage. BUT that would have to be if you're both on board with the idea and once you have the details of how your obligation as a firefighter and his obligation to his law firm are worked out. Talk to a lawyer about immigration possibilities and what the best options are for your legally and financially.

[teachernicole]

You guys are awesome. Thank you for your responses. We got into a fight last night where I realized we had nothing planned out and if we wanted to close the distance soon, we shouldn't have done some of the things we did. I personally feel in my gut that it's going to take a long time for us to get to a point of financial security and stability. I think it will be amazing for him to get his LLM here in the USA because a specialization abroad will only add to his Brazilian resume should we move back.

I'm going to share this with him. Rushing things will only make it worse. I think we need to wait and plan to sort everything out.