Announcement

**jana89** · January 18, 2014, 05:20 PM

Hi

I used to have these feelings all the time, still have once a while, but it got better with time

I will be moving to Denmark and it scares me that I don�t really have any friends there so far. Also I don�t know the language, so I know I will rely on my SO a LOT for beginning at least. But I love him and the most important thing will be us being together finally, that�s the only that matter. Good luck with everything

**Kitten_mittens** · January 18, 2014, 08:34 PM

I feel this way quite a bit. My SO will have to move here first but it's been made clear that he only wants to stay here until I can move to the UK. I'm a family person for the most part and I know it will be extremely rough. But I also have the reassurance that I should be able to have a really good job and will be able to afford visits. That's what helps put me at ease about it. And I guess I'm lucky enough to not have many friends that I'll be leaving..

**snow** · January 18, 2014, 09:50 PM

It hit me when I left my family last time to be with my man for 3 months. It was sad and it made me realize that I have to put in a lot of effort to make sure I keep in contact with them.
My mom took the initiative and bought herself, my dad and my big sister, who has her own house, a nice HD webcam so we can skype with each other once a week. I think that made everything a little easier. My siblings are feeling the same thing. They are kind of mad at me for leaving them and they fear they won't ever see me again, because the flight is very expensive. On the other hand they are happy for me and know that I will be happy in America.

It's an up and down of emotions, but ultimately they will understand and even though I will miss them I know they'd want me to be happy and I know I will be happy with my fianc�

**aoinu99** · January 24, 2014, 10:52 AM

I felt the same way too, and still trying to cope with that. Like it or not, it's one thing that we have to consider if we want to close the distance. I cannot say much since i have not solved this myself, but just to let you know, you're not alone in this.

**NavyWife** · January 24, 2014, 01:06 PM

Hi! I know exactly how you feel. I live in the US and my SO is in the US Navy and when we get married once he is stationed i can go wherever he goes (where that will be could be anywheres from 6 hours away from where i am now in New York, to half way around the world). I always wonder whether or not i should go with him because when he is deployed i will be there BY MYSELF with no one. He wants me to stay here in NY with my family. But i just decided that when he gets stationed, if its going to be like 1-2 years before he is deployed....then Im going! But i understand how you feel, my family says i should go and explore the world. How understanding is your family? I think as far as friends go you will do just fine. You'll start by making friends with your SO's friends then branch off and make friends where you work and stuff. For the most part people in the USA are great, no different than anyone else. Chin up hun! You're not alone!

**iPie** · January 24, 2014, 07:13 PM

It's completely normal. I get that even when I'm away from my family temporarily, I don't know how I'd manage moving abroad. But I think even if it might be difficult at first, it would definitely be worth it to be able to be with your SO. And I can't speak from experience, but you'll very likely build relationships over there that will be just as meaningful and important to you as those you have now. Not to mention, with all the technology available, you should be able to speak to your family and friends all the time.

**differentcountries** · January 24, 2014, 07:31 PM

I think feeling like that is very common. Some people say you actually switch from a LD with your so to a LD with your family... In my case I would not worry so much on my so's behalf, because he is already in a LD with his family and would likely see them more often if he moved here, because he sees them only once a year for one or two weeks with his current job and I bet we could visit more often /longer than that.

**monca007** · January 24, 2014, 09:03 PM

I live in the US and my SO is in El Salvador (which thankfully happens to be my hometown) but still! it's hard. I have lived most of my life in the US and I have my parents, siblings and best friends here. Due to many reasons, I will have to be the one making the move and I'm so nervous but I'm also excited! I think about the move all the time and when I do, I can't help but cry!!! lol but I always try to see the positive side to it. I will be with the one I love, the future father of my kids and my family will always be in my heart, always! It's definitely a bittersweet feeling. Stay positive!! and think about other options as well. For example, my family and I made a promise to each other that we would skype at least 3 times a week (besides texting or talking on the phone) and also that they would have to go down there once a year and I would have to come here once a year.
We all need to spread our wings and leave the nest eventually. You will be fine!

I wish you the best in your move!!

**squeeker** · January 24, 2014, 09:28 PM

Yeah, we aren't too sure yet what's going to happen when we close the distance.. But currently it looks like I will end up moving there.. though for awhile we were hoping he could move to Canada.. but we were thinking his dad could move with him but it's really complicated with bringing family like parents at the same time since they aren't officially dependents..

I would love to live in the UK with him but I've gone through that scary realization about moving away from my family and few friends here, mostly though I'm worried about my parents, because they are getting older and things. But they are also both going to have passports one of these days (my dad got his but my mom is still procrastinating but wants to get hers soon). My older sister moved to South Korea to work for a year that turned into two now so I think that sort of prompted them to get passports.. my mom was thinking of it for awhile but they both decided sometime after my older sister moved away. So hopefully in the future we will be able to afford regular flights and even a place to stay if my parents/family/friends wanted to visit and we'd visit them too hopefully. Though the big thing has been my boyfriend's fear of flying, but he's working through that and stuff.

So yeah I believe it's completely normal. I feel bad personally because I don't keep in touch with my family and friends enough when I'm away. In a way that might make it easier.. but I know if I move away I have to do my best to keep in touch with my family more regularly, since I often slack on my visits with my boyfriend and don't do it as much as maybe I should. :P But I think they understand, and the longer I am with my boyfriend, I think the more they see that it is a strong relationship and stuff.

**Alsfia** · January 25, 2014, 03:14 AM

I'd say so. I was rather down before coming over to stay for x amount of months here in England with my SO but it's not as bad actually being here. How much, if any, time have you spent in the states? In the beginning of our relationship we kind of assumed I would move here since I speak the language and all, but the longer we've spent in each other's country, the more certain we have become to move to Finland after we have completed at least a Bachelors (probably Masters for various reasons) at uni, even though it wouldn't necessarily be the most logical choice, it's the one that suits us best. Also, when you go there to visit, you will most likely start making friends already during those, like my SO is

**TexastoFinland** · January 25, 2014, 09:56 PM

I left my family and friends to move abroad to work and yes it is hard. The experience was worth so much to me and I found that my family became jealous of my experiences and knowledge. I am sure all of your family will support you and love you no matter what. Moving away does not mean you are losing your family.. it just means you are gaining more family! My SO will have to leave FInland and he has never lived outside of Finland. He is nervous about his English skills and possibility of finding work. All of those things can be difficult on a couple.If you do not expect a fairytale then, you will be happy! The job situation for foreigners is tough in Denmark so you will have that face too. Don't worry too much about what you will leave behinf. Instead, focus on what you are getting and how you will overcome the trials when you arrive in Denmark. Good luck!!

**TexastoFinland** · January 25, 2014, 10:00 PM

Hey, does he know what the job situation for foreigners in Finland is though? I had to come back home to the US and seek a MAster's Degree in a field that I could get work in there before I could even think about staying. If it weren't for the poor outlook for work for foreigners in Finland I would still be with my love. I speak somewhat decent Finnish too, just not fluent. My advice having been through it and having many friends facing it now.. stay in England if he isn't willing to learn Finnish before finding a permanent contract.

**Steph89** · January 26, 2014, 08:24 AM

Originally posted by NavyWife View Post

Hi! I know exactly how you feel. I live in the US and my SO is in the US Navy and when we get married once he is stationed i can go wherever he goes (where that will be could be anywheres from 6 hours away from where i am now in New York, to half way around the world). I always wonder whether or not i should go with him because when he is deployed i will be there BY MYSELF with no one. He wants me to stay here in NY with my family. But i just decided that when he gets stationed, if its going to be like 1-2 years before he is deployed....then Im going! But i understand how you feel, my family says i should go and explore the world. How understanding is your family? I think as far as friends go you will do just fine. You'll start by making friends with your SO's friends then branch off and make friends where you work and stuff. For the most part people in the USA are great, no different than anyone else. Chin up hun! You're not alone!

I think my family are fairly understanding, my mum talks about coming over and visiting when I'm over there, so that's good. It's reassuring to know that other people do feel like this. That's true what you said about friends too, I guess it's just natural to feel like this. Thanks for your comment

**Steph89** · January 26, 2014, 08:31 AM

Originally posted by Alsfia View Post

I'd say so. I was rather down before coming over to stay for x amount of months here in England with my SO but it's not as bad actually being here. How much, if any, time have you spent in the states? In the beginning of our relationship we kind of assumed I would move here since I speak the language and all, but the longer we've spent in each other's country, the more certain we have become to move to Finland after we have completed at least a Bachelors (probably Masters for various reasons) at uni, even though it wouldn't necessarily be the most logical choice, it's the one that suits us best. Also, when you go there to visit, you will most likely start making friends already during those, like my SO is

I've spent under a month in the US in total, but I feel like I've already got to know some of his friends, which is good. I know you're right, I guess it's more making friends outside of his friendship group that I'm worried about. I'm going to stay positive though and I'm sure it'll work out in the end

Announcement

Is it normal for me to feel this way?

Is it normal for me to feel this way?

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment