LDRT - Over thinking in a LDR

[infamy21]

Hey Guys,

I've just uploaded my second video and it's about Over thinking. I'm sure a lot of us can relate to this and even through my 5 years of LDR I still struggle with it and I really hate it when it happens. Over thinking can really drive people crazy and make people do extreme things. It's so stupid how a small thought can turn into a crazy scenario in your head. Are we more sensitive being in an LDR, then people who have relationships locally? I would really like to hear from you guys out there because I would love to get some advice on this. If you want to check out my video and hear my thoughts about it you can search "LDRT - Over thinking in a long distance relationship" on Youtube. Thanks and hope to hear from a lot of you.

[squeeker]

Yeah I think I'm guilty of this a lot.. though it doesn't happen too much nowadays because even if my boyfriend isn't online, and hasn't messaged me, I know his routine pretty well that I can usually guess one of the places he will be .. though when it takes longer for him to come online and I didn't expect it to take that long, I get anxious about it, and start worrying a bit. I know I over think about things in general, because it leads me to be anxious a lot of times.. so I know I have done so in my relationship, but it was more common when we had first started to get to know each other and first started dating I think, because I didn't know his routine as much. Though I think I still do it.. I think a lot so of course I'm going to over think. And I'm pretty sure I do it in my relationship.

Good video too, I ended up subscribing to your channel and will probably watch some of your other videos on the LDR related topics!

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Yes, this has been a real problem with us sometimes. It is so easy to misunderstand with text or in chat messages on Facebook. And then, it is easy to let my imagination run wild and think up the worst case scenarios. When he gets back to me, it is always either something very minor, or something that was all in my head, and not what he was thinking at all, or he had a good reason for not being available, or for not replying to my message right away.

That is a good video. I'll be looking forward to seeing more of your LDR videos, and I have subscribed to your channel. Thanks.

[ukusa]

I think people in LDRs might over think things more because there is more time to over think between speaking with each other and clarifying things, you know?

I just had a skype chat with my SO and think that he was annoyed with me, and he didn't say I love you at the end of our conversation He's sleeping now because of the time difference and I will probably be ruminating over it all night!

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I think people in LDRs might over think things more because there is more time to over think between speaking with each other and clarifying things, you know?

I just had a skype chat with my SO and think that he was annoyed with me, and he didn't say I love you at the end of our conversation He's sleeping now because of the time difference and I will probably be ruminating over it all night!

I think that is the worst thing, to go to sleep without a proper goodnight, and no I love you. Those are the times I over think, dream up all the reasons why, wonder what I said wrong, and sometimes end up with tears on my pillow. Usually, there is nothing wrong at all, it was all in my head, and he was distracted or busy, or tired. But I do it to him sometimes, too. It was late when I thought of contacting him for a goodnight chat, so I didn't want to bother him, and didn't contact him or tell him goodnight. When I got up this morning, I saw that he had left me a goodnight message, while I was asleep. So I left him one, while he was still asleep.

[DCT]

Thanks for bringing up this topic. Our relationship is so new -just over a month- so we txt many times each day with lots of I miss u's, etc. Then 1 day last week I didn't hear from him at my bed time which was way out of our norm. I didn't acknowledge it w/him formally and just went to sleep but my mind was going nuts! Since we have really just met 1x and this is all so new (esp the LDR nature) I don't want to over react and scare him. I'm very trusting and he is a trustworthy man. Thanks for giving some insights of y'all's situation

[differentcountries]

Anybody can overthink things. Bit perhaps misunerstandings are a better ways to describe it. Sometimes overthinking is a sign that we (perhaps jusitified) are not in control. We know perfectly well that we put a lot of trust in someone that is far away. To me, whenever (very rarely) I have not heard from him in about a day I start to panic, at the same time I know it is just a sign that I for instance wonder what kind of influence his family has on him in off-season when he is there.

[imabrokendoll]

Very good and helpful video! I gotta say, overthinking is something my SO accuses me of doing a lot. Truth is, I can't help it. For some reason, I need to know where we stand at all times...or I start getting anxious and can't relax. It doesn't happen as much as you might think, but I'll admit I tend to create a lot of scenarios in my head over a single word that was said or unsaid, or a shift in his mood, or sometimes I just misinterpret his need for "space" and take it as an "I don't want you around" signal.
It's just very difficult with the distance, because you can't talk things out immediately...or at least not whenever you wish to. And mostly because, afterall, talking is really all you have....when sometimes a hug would suffice and put all things back to place!