Long trips

[Hollandia]

My first visit went for about 3 weeks, then my next two visits went for about 3 months each. My last visit went for about 7 months because I did study exchange in Europe.

I'll probably have to wait a year to see my GF again but we're hoping to make this visit go for at least 6 months (and maybe a year if things pan out in our favour).

I did something similar last time Tooki. I pushed our visit a month to be able to be together for a month longer this time. I honestly don't think it was worth it so far. I found it pure hell without him for so long and have sworn, I will be willing to go back down to less time together to not be far apart for as long. I would be curious to hear how you feel about this? A hard decision for sure.

[BlueCat]

Long separations are very difficult. My fiance and I had an 18 month separation between two six month visits. It was pretty terrible in a lot of ways, you really have to try and push yourself to remember that you have a life to, and you need to keep on top of doing what you would usually do so you don't get dragged down. But obviously still have to communicate a lot. About mid-way our communication plummeted and it was pretty awful, you have to keep in touch with each other and take the time to think of each other. There wasn't much we could do about such a long separation though, he didn't have the money to visit me, and I needed the time to save up enough money to visit him. The long visits are amazing though, you really get a sense of actually being with the person, instead of always counting down the days while you're there, you can actually forget about that and live a normal life together for a while, and I really like that

[Sora1101]

First Visit
October 2nd 2010-October 3rd 2010
Second Visit
September 30th 2011-October 2nd 2011
Third Visit
July 13th 2012-July 18th 2012
Fourth Visit
January 1st 2013-January 6th 2013
Fifth Visit
December 13th 2013- December 20th 2013

Our average is about 4 days a year. ):

[Tooki]

I did something similar last time Tooki. I pushed our visit a month to be able to be together for a month longer this time. I honestly don't think it was worth it so far. I found it pure hell without him for so long and have sworn, I will be willing to go back down to less time together to not be far apart for as long. I would be curious to hear how you feel about this? A hard decision for sure.

This is our only real option though. I could go to Europe in July but I would only be able to stay for 1 month (My winter uni break goes for one month) and my GF will be applying to go to uni so she needs to be in Estonia from July onwards (meaning that she could only come to Australia for about one month or so, which isn't worth it for us considering the costs of a plane ticket).

If we don't include a mid-year visit, it will also make our longer visit more financially secure, because I will need to find a job in Estonia if I stay for 6 months, which is very possible but not a certainty.

[milaya]

Due to my husband's work, we can't have such long visits. He has 35 days off and then he works 35 days on a ship - meaning the longest visit we've had was 35 days. I always wanted to try to have more than 35 days, but not really sure when that's gonna happen. Probably in the future, when he has found another job.

[NerdyChick]

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one who can't do super long visits. Both my SO and I are in school, so the longest we've managed so far is a little less than a month. Admittedly when I started reading about so many people spending like 3 or 6 months with their SO's I felt a bit worried that maybe we weren't up to par with everyone else. We can only visit when we have breaks in our schooling, so winter break, summer break, he gets longer than I do, but he doesn't have a place of his own and when he's out of Uni he goes back home to his family which is where I stay when I visit (they are such wonderful lovely people, but I wouldn't want to inconvenience them for any longer than they are comfortable with) As for me, I live alone, but have certain responsibilities here and any longer than a month and things start to fall through. So yeah, on average about 3 weeks at a time, twice a year if were lucky.

[abna1]

All our visits have been 4-5 weeks. One or twice a year. I'm always the one visiting, so it depends on uni and work.

[conejita_hada]

I think our visits will be about 9 days long, generally. Our first ~4 months were CD then I visited for 10 days in November after being apart 3 months. I have a flight booked to visit for 2 weeks in April (4.5 months apart) but if I get a full-time job, that will change. After I get a job, we'll probably average 2 times a year, 9 days each. I'm always the one to visit unless we can get him a visa for studying English during intersession. That would be for ~8 weeks in November-January.

[rufuz]

We have only had 2 visits yet. The first time I was in Cancun for 3 weeks but we only started talking by the beginning of my second week there. So we more or less had only 1 and a half week. The second visit was 2 weeks.

I am also the one who's always visiting, because I earn more money than he does and flights are quite expensive.

[one-more-reason]

When I met my SO I was studying abroad in his country so it's not technically a visit, but when we got together we pretty much lived together (we had rooms across the hall from each other in a dorm but slept together every night) for 4 months. the next time I saw him, he visited me for 3 months during one of his summer breaks. then after I graduated I moved to Australia and lived with him for 10 months. now we don't know when we'll see each other again, but hopefully next time he comes here it'll be permanent. fingers crossed on finding a job!

I feel really lucky to have the long visits, even though our waits in between visits are really long as well (our first wait was 4 months, the next was 7, and we're coming up on 7 again this time). living a normal life together is so important and you really get to know a person when you're not preoccupied with the countdown and having exciting dates together every time you see each other. I really respect couples who have to do shorter visits, it definitely takes a lot of strength! I guess I'll never know what that's like, with how expensive plane tickets are for us it's nearly impossible to just come for a short visit.

[kria]

Our shortest visit, which was the first visit, was two weeks long. He came here. Our longest visit was last summer when I went to stay with him for three months. We've visited each other a total of six times. We are hoping to close the distance before the end of this summer (end of August).

[vicks5724]

I am having my first long visit with my Bf in April, it is also the first time we will meet in person, I hope to then work over the summer months and then go visit him again for another 2/3 months, then I hope I could go visit again in February 2015 for valentines day and our anniversary of being together as a couple.

[dotk]

Since we are international and both studying we try to do longer visits too in order to make it worth all the money. So far I have visited twice during semester break in summer. First time for 6 weeks, second time for 5 weeks. In between those he came here over his summer break an stayed two months. If things are working out (still much planning needed) I will be going there for 5 or 6 months at the end of the year and have him visit here for a month during summer. We'll see....

[aojeda50]

the longest and only trip I've done so far is 2 weeks. Which now seems ridiculous to me now that I think about it. Spending all that money on only 2 weeks.
But then again, I could go for 2 weeks because of school.

But since I'll be done with school, and my job is flexible with my hours, I'm shooting for one month in Italy to stay with him. I'm just little worried about the money, spending money. I would have to figure out for food, necessaties, and emergencies. Hopefully!!!!
Luckily, he'll be staying with me for three weeks in a month.

[differentcountries]

The only time I wished I could have met my SO sooner, is when I think it is a bit too late for me to to the student thing of taking a semester here and one year there. I have a half-finished doctoral thesis, but I can't really travel to write it, because I need an income and then I have to stay here. Also I have to pay mortage on the flat and all the rest.. but if he is a good student, he might be able to come here for some time, to study Norwegin or get his other study approved. We both want to spend more "every day life" time together. He can't come to me during season because they literarily work every day (exept heavy rain when there are no customers), but there might be some uppertunities next year.