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    #1

    My little story

    Hey folks,

    First of all I want to say sorry for my bad english, this isn't my mothertongue. So I start by introducing myself, I am called Florent and I am a 19 years old Belgian. I met my girlfriend when I was an exchange student in Canada. We were together for around 5 months when we both had to go back to our own country. So my girlfriend came back in Germany and I came back in Belgium. Now we live 500 kilometers appart (a bit more than 300 miles), we went through many fights but we still made it. During these last 7 months with 500 kms appart we managed to see each other a few times despite the fact that we are both doing studies. We got our one year together, we actually saw on this forums ideas of things to do for an anniversary ! We saw each other around every 2 months, I just went visiting her for 2 weeks and I came back last week. We never spent that much time together and now that we are far away again, everything seems different. We both get pretty depressed to not be able to see each other. I know that she cries a lot randomly during classes, she seems cold, depressed. While me I just tried to find a way to get along with the distance by completly denying it, avoiding thinking about, not thinking about how long we have to wait to see each other again, it looks like she hadn't find a way to get along with that. She sounds depressed, she turns really sad during our skype conversations and I dont know what to do. Seeing her in that state is killing me, Im trying to find ways to make it easier for her, I show her that she counts a lot for me, that we gonna see each other again for sure, I tell her that one day we'll close the distance and that every thing is going to be fine but it seems like nothing is working. I dont know what to do, Im as well pretty upset about the fact that I can't see her, that I can't hold her in my arms, Im trying to find some stuff to do together so it seems a bit more like Im with her. I tried to play some online games with her so we could feel a bit closer, so we can share something together and it doesn't work either. I dont know what to do, I hate seeing her sad and not being able to hold her, to tell her that everything is okay. There is nothing more horrible that seeing her sad and not being able to make her happy. What do you guys think I could do ? I really need your helps, all that is killing me ^^

    Thanks for reading me,

    Florent.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Hi Florent!

    I know that you feel the same way she does, and it's not easier for you than it is for her, but right now, you have to show her your support. My tips are:

    - Based on my experience, it can help when you ask her to tell you EVERYTHING that makes her sad. I mean, ask her as many times as necessary to make sure she told you everything.
    - Then try to give her positive answers. Tell her about your feelings as well. Tell her things like "we love each other, and even though it's hard for us now, it will get better, we will get over it together because our relationship is worth it.... I want to see your beautiful smile again..." and tell her about things you love about her, things that make you happy...
    - You can also tell her about people who are in LDR and haven't met each other yet, or don't have the opportunity to see each other as often as you two. I mean, try to show her that it could be even more difficult.
    - You could also buy her a present (flowers, chocolate, pizza) and deliver it to her place.
    - Also, it would help her a lot to get out with her friends, she can talk about her feelings with them and feel better.
    - Maybe she may join this forum (or similar), it's very useful when you feel sad or go through hard times.

    I am not sure if I helped, but I hope you will find some useful information in my post.

    I wish you both will get over it and she will be positive soon!
    Last edited by Carol; February 7, 2014, 05:36 PM.

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      #3
      Hi there Florent! I think that Carol gave some really good advice.

      And I agree that I think that maybe girls can be emotional a bit more and so I agree it might help if you ask her to tell you everything, so that you can be there for her and comfort her.. She is probably mostly just looking for your support during this time. And if you show her that you miss her too during these times, and also try to give advice for things for her to do.. like if she has friends near her, if she could go out with them, it might help take her mind of things.. or maybe suggest a TV series or documentary to watch together and discuss after watching episodes. Or maybe suggest if she wants she could make a blog, and whether she makes it public or private or only gives permission for you to read, then you could read what she feels, and she could feel like she could vent everything out there. She might like joining a forum like this, and seeing all the other people going through the distance apart from their loves. Also there are LDR communities on Youtube if she likes watching videos.. or on Tumblr has a nice LDR community too.. more of a visual way.. and she can customize a blog to represent you as a couple and feel closer that way.

      I don't know.. just don't give up! Keep supporting and loving her and visit as much as you can! And one day you will be together and not have to worry about the distance anymore (except maybe from friends/family but then you can travel together to see them!)

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        #4
        to LFAD, Florent!


        When we love, it isn't because the person's perfect, it's because we learn to see an imperfect person perfectly.

        True love does not worry about the distance between, for the heart and soul travels through one's words

        When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, and no one can ever tear them apart.

        1 universe, 9 planets, 7 continents, 194 countries, 50 states and 10 provinces...and I had the privilege to meet you.

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          #5
          I'm sorry she is so sad; it must be frustrating to you to want to help but can't figure out how. The advice given here is good, but it sounds like you are working hard to try and help. LDR's are tough, but she sounds depressed about something more than that. I'm with Carol on trying to get her to tell you everything that is bothering her. I know I have worries that I don't always share with my SO, because I don't want to worry him about something he can't fix. Your girlfriend may be that way.

          It's great how you are offering her words of reassurance and trying to get her to do things with you like play games. That shows you really care. Anything that keeps you two connected and reminds her of your love should help.

          I hope you two get it worked out soon. I know it's a strain on you to see her like that, and she obviously is feeling low. Good luck.

          Comment

            #6
            Thanks everyone for your replies ! It feels great to be supported and to know that I'm not the only one in this case So yeah Im gonna continue asking her to tell me everything, I already do a lot and it's true that it's helping a bit. It makes her know that I'm here to help her and that I'm by her side. Anyways I'm gonna follow your advices, proposing to watch a serie together or trying to find some activities we can do (I looked at the "Things for LDR to do" forum and I found pretty interesting indeas !) and I hope it'll get better, that we'll both be able to handle the distance. Thanks again for your supports, I'm really glad for your replies !

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