How do you heal?

[Kitten_mittens]

How do you heal the pain from a break up? I know time is the biggest thing.. But I'm feeling so miserable.. Any other things that help?

[differentcountries]

I am a fan of lists, writing the pros and cons of being in that relationship. May help to stick with the decition or deal with the fact, I at least got over several people that way.

[talim]

What helped me the most was always when I realized that world didn't end with the breakup, and that there is so much things I can do now that I couldn't before - be it just stalking cute guys in the bar or spending all night playing videogames with your male friends. Try to enjoy being single!

[Kitten_mittens]

Thank you, I will try to do a list of pros and cons. All I can think about is how bad I want him back but I know we weren't doing well.

As far as the enjoying being single part, i don't even want to think of other guys.. I was so sure he was the one.. And I know my depression caused our relationship to fail.. And being a single mom and student I can't really enjoy video games all night. Otherwise that would be good advice. Thanks though. <3

[kittyo9]

After my last relationship ended, I focused a lot on doing things that made me happy. I watched movies, I played games, I worked hard to get into a study abroad program that would let me leave the country for the first time in my life. I spent time with people I loved. I may have drank and partied a little.

It's okay to give yourself time to be sad. All emotions are real emotions and things aren't going to be sunshine and roses all the time after something so upsetting. Remember to take care of yourself as well as your loved ones. What things can you do that you enjoy? Do you like to take walks? Do you have a hobby you can take part in?

[Kitten_mittens]

After my last relationship ended, I focused a lot on doing things that made me happy. I watched movies, I played games, I worked hard to get into a study abroad program that would let me leave the country for the first time in my life. I spent time with people I loved. I may have drank and partied a little.

It's okay to give yourself time to be sad. All emotions are real emotions and things aren't going to be sunshine and roses all the time after something so upsetting. Remember to take care of yourself as well as your loved ones. What things can you do that you enjoy? Do you like to take walks? Do you have a hobby you can take part in?

I don't have a hobby. I was going to get into rock climbing but now that reminds me too much of him cause that's what he does..
Being a single mom I don't have much time for myself. I don't have any real friends either..

[kittyo9]

I don't have a hobby. I was going to get into rock climbing but now that reminds me too much of him cause that's what he does..
Being a single mom I don't have much time for myself. I don't have any real friends either..

Hey, that's okay, keep looking for something that you can do that you enjoy, even if it means playing blocks with your kid.

[piratemama]

I'm sorry you broke up and are hurting. Losing someone you cared abou,t and losing a relationship in which you invested a great portion of yourself, is never easy. It hurts no matter what you do. I'm with kitty09 on finding something you enjoy. Even if you do a tiny something that brings you a smile, it will help. When my first husband was sick and everything was in a total chaos, I couldn't get away. I was depressed and losing my mind, and that's when I learned about doing the little things. I love my coffee, so I'd get a cup of coffee and sit out on the porch in the mornings and watch the birds. It was certainly a small thing, but it saved me. I would light a scented candle and listen to music. I spent lots of time praying. I also started collecting funny pictures, sayings, and cartoons. I actively looked for something to make me laugh, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Another thing that helped me tremendously was finding other people I knew were hurting and spending time doing something for them. I couldn't go visiting, but I would call them or send them notes of encouragement. It helped to get my mind on other people's problems and off my own.

I hope you get to feeling better soon. Thinking of you...

[Kitten_mittens]

I'm sorry you broke up and are hurting. Losing someone you cared abou,t and losing a relationship in which you invested a great portion of yourself, is never easy. It hurts no matter what you do. I'm with kitty09 on finding something you enjoy. Even if you do a tiny something that brings you a smile, it will help. When my first husband was sick and everything was in a total chaos, I couldn't get away. I was depressed and losing my mind, and that's when I learned about doing the little things. I love my coffee, so I'd get a cup of coffee and sit out on the porch in the mornings and watch the birds. It was certainly a small thing, but it saved me. I would light a scented candle and listen to music. I spent lots of time praying. I also started collecting funny pictures, sayings, and cartoons. I actively looked for something to make me laugh, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Another thing that helped me tremendously was finding other people I knew were hurting and spending time doing something for them. I couldn't go visiting, but I would call them or send them notes of encouragement. It helped to get my mind on other people's problems and off my own.

I hope you get to feeling better soon. Thinking of you...

Thank you so much. I will try to find something I can enjoy and make the effort to actually enjoy it.

Thanks for the support everyone.

[rubydissolution]

Maybe I'm the weird one here but what has always helped me in my breakups was crying. Just sitting around watching sad movies and letting that raw sad emotion out. I always feel good after a good cry but when you feel down it's almost like you are shedding that negativity. Hope this helps.

[ethelynn]

And I know my depression caused our relationship to fail..

Don't think like that. It takes two to make a relationship work and make the effort to keep the relationship and the bad times show what the other person is like when you need support and aren't at your best! There is a lot he could have done to help you, but he didn't. That's the part to remember. Now you can fully concentrate on yourself and your child, to study without having to worry that it'll cause problems and do all the other things you'd want. Do something that usually makes you feel better or relaxes you, whether it be buying something that makes you feel prettier, eating something you love, going to a place you've wanted to go for a while.

[differentcountries]

I would not Reccomend you to cry much since you are already depressed, but what helped me get over my ex was this ; every morning in the toilet at work (it was important that it was at work) I would cry for exactly two minutes. I would lock the door, put my hands to the sink and just cry hard but short. I think I did this every day for 6 months. After that I did not feel the need anymore.

It takes two to tango. It is very rarely just one person 's fault that a relationship ends. Placing blame is not helpful. Take care of yourself and your young one.

[Ahava]

Oh Kittenmittens I'm so sorry to hear you are hurting so bad
Does it help if I tell you that one day you will smile and laugh again?
Because I know you will.
I think the depression might be one reason making you feel even worse in this situation.
(I say that coz I myself have been there, I'm not tryig to be a know it all)

When the weather gets better go out with your son, feed the ducks, explore everything...it will make you feel joy to see him exploring the world and laughing.
Do mad stuff with him, dance, pillow fight, peek a poo, hide and seek, tickle him, blow raspberries on his cute little belly...

Do you have any girl/guy friends you could hook up with and go to the movies with? Or out for drinks? Girls night in with a movie and lots to eat, so you can all pig out. Go swimming or skating. To the library, zoo, museums...some of these you can ofcourse do with Rylan too.

I hope you can find a way to make the depression be a part of your history, not your today and future. And learn to love yourself and see the beauty in life

Hugs and remember you can pm me.

[Kitten_mittens]

Maybe I'm the weird one here but what has always helped me in my breakups was crying. Just sitting around watching sad movies and letting that raw sad emotion out. I always feel good after a good cry but when you feel down it's almost like you are shedding that negativity. Hope this helps.

Oh I have cried.. A lot already..

Oh Kittenmittens I'm so sorry to hear you are hurting so bad
Does it help if I tell you that one day you will smile and laugh again?
Because I know you will.
I think the depression might be one reason making you feel even worse in this situation.
(I say that coz I myself have been there, I'm not tryig to be a know it all)

When the weather gets better go out with your son, feed the ducks, explore everything...it will make you feel joy to see him exploring the world and laughing.
Do mad stuff with him, dance, pillow fight, peek a poo, hide and seek, tickle him, blow raspberries on his cute little belly...

Do you have any girl/guy friends you could hook up with and go to the movies with? Or out for drinks? Girls night in with a movie and lots to eat, so you can all pig out. Go swimming or skating. To the library, zoo, museums...some of these you can ofcourse do with Rylan too.

I hope you can find a way to make the depression be a part of your history, not your today and future. And learn to love yourself and see the beauty in life

Hugs and remember you can pm me.

I don't really have friends.. I've grown apart from most of my friends in high school and haven't made any new ones really. It's sad. I'm working on making new ones though. I do have a playdate for my son set up for Friday and I'm hoping I might make a new friend there.

I have been playing with Rylan lots as his little giggles cheer me up a bit. I'm struggling to sleep though. I just lay in bed and my mind won't shut off.

Thanks a bunch for the support and advice. <3

[abna1]

I'm so sorry to hear this, Kittenmittens !
There's not much I could add to everyone's advice. I just hope that the situation will get better for you very soon. You're a strong mama, so I'm sure it will.