HI.

[Lillyana]

Im very new here and i this is my first proper post. I Found this place a week ago . Me and So have been together a bit over a year. The night before he left this time i asked if he still wanted to move here. To my shock he answered that he wasnt sure anymore. Him moving here has been our goal, now its changed to me visiting him soon and then see how it goes. Also we agreed that the move wouldnt happen now but in one to two years time with no stress. His explanation to this was that he is afraid that it wont work when we have a daily life together and not just holidays. And he dosnt wanna waste my time to find out that it dosnt work. So ofcourse things were a bit tense when he left . We talked a bit on skype later and decided i should still come visit . Im so sad now even though were still together i feel like its just a matter time before he breaks up with me. He still says he loves me and sends me lots of texts every day. Still i feel like everytime he takes long time to answer or dont sendt me the first text in the day its because hes trying to keep a little bit of distance. Well atleast im gonna go visit him soon and maybe then i should try to keep the visit more daiily like then if im on holiday ? He has to work but has weekends off . Any suggestions or advice ?

[squeeker]

I think that he was just scared because closing the distance seemed so soon, hence why he said to wait a bit longer.. maybe he's hoping to save up more money before hand first too. Also this will give you a chance to have more visits together! And I think you are on the right track.. try and make your visits relaxed and casual like you would if you lived together.. I know it's what my boyfriend and I do, though we are both indoors people and also don't have a lot of money so it's cheaper to stay in, and we've had some longer visits so they help you realize what it would be like to live together.

Try and spend as much time physically together as possible and take things slow.. know that when you live with anybody, there will likely be little habits that come up that get you annoyed but remember that you love your SO and try not to get mad at them for something they are used to. It will take time to get comfortable with someone.

My SO and I still can't close the distance for a good few years, sadly, but sometimes when I think of it I do get scared of the change, if I move to the UK or he moves to Canada with me.. it's going to be a change.. though it's also going to be awesome to be so close to him..

I think you just need time to know each other more.. and also know each others' habits, good and bad, and make sure you can live with them and accept them. (if they are bad for his/your health then you can have discussion on that but you still can't expect someone to change so you have to know what you can accept)

[DC2London]

Hey!

You know I am going through the exact same thing, except I had to kinda get him to admit it when he wouldn't.I think he was scared to tell me that the US was not the place for him. It was very disappointing at first but then I realized how horrible it would be if he came and was just miserable and sad because he didn't feel at ease. It wouldn't be that he does not want to be there and does not love you, but maybe he just doesn't feel as comfortable moving around. My SO made that clear after the many talks we had, so then we had a problem of who moves where. In the end I decided I am going there, just because I connect with London (that's where he is) and am willing to try to live there, I had for a semester in college.

I think something like that can make you feel a little insecure, trust me, I am currently there. I felt he was not wanting to be as close because our texting is diff and just things are changing, but I like to think of it as we are entering a different part of the relationship. The honeymoon was great and fun but now it's time to get to the bare bone of what the future is. What I am doing now is letting him become more confident and just have fun with this last little bit of undergrad because he goes into a masters program and that's hard work! Keep the communication up but don't fret, just need to hash things out and each say what you want out of the relationship, solid plans are my thing.