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Betrayal and a broken heart

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    Betrayal and a broken heart

    Hello,

    I am a long time lurker of the LFAD forums and I guess I just need a place to get my story out and hope for some support.

    I met my now ex girlfriend 2 and a half years ago on an online forum. We clicked instantly and fell in love very quickly. She lives in the USA and I'm in England. Anyway, in the first year of our relationship she cheated on me with someone she met from the same forum we met on. She told me it was a mistake and begged me for a second chance. I agreed, reluctantly and without trust. My first mistake. I visited her twice and each visit was like a fairy tale, but when we were apart the trust issues resurfaced. I wanted an end to the distance and she could never give me a solid answer as to whether she would ever move here. She was emotionally abusive. I believe she fell out of love with me when she cheated on me but didn't have the guts to do the right thing and let me go.

    Anyway, towards the end it was horrible and I asked if there was ever a way that we could end the distance. She said she would never move to England. It broke my heart and I told her that she would likely never visit me let alone move here. She kept promising to visit but never did. I told her it wasn't fair that I was hanging on waiting for something that would never happen and broke up with her. It hurt a lot but I know it was the right thing to do. She wanted to stay friends so I agreed.

    A week later she's in love with the person she cheated on me with a year before. Apparently they have been "best friends" all that time even though my girlfriend said she promised not to speak to the as my trust red flags were flying high. Now they both post all over the forum I frequent about how in love they are and everyone is congratulating them.

    I have temporarily stopped myself from going to the forum but I need to get support from the people I know there. It doesn't seem fair that they can upset me every time I log in. I want to get over it, I want to get past it but it feels like a betrayal. She lied to me about talking to the person she cheated on me with. I feel used and worthless. I guess I just don't know what to do now.

    #2
    Hey,
    Such a shit situation.
    I think you should definately stop going to the forum where they keep posting stuff that upsets you.
    You can get your support here as well
    It sounds like you are sure that you don't want to be in a relationship with her.
    And she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

    I think it's best to start trying to accept the fact that she's not your girfriend anymore.

    An LDR is hard as it is, but it's even harder with trust issues. Especially knowing that she's cheated on you and lied about the fact that she still had contact with that guy. Would you really have been happy with her?? I believe trust is the most important thing in a relationship. And it wasn't there with you.

    I know breakups can be so hard and it feels like the world just collapses underneath you.
    I can't emagine what its like when you have been cheated on. But it must be so tough!!

    I'm sorry you're going through this!!
    But stop going to that forum!!

    Comment


      #3
      It will probably be hard, but by being in that forum you hurt yourself. Seing someone you love or recently loved be happy with someone else can be hard. Rubbing your nose in it will not make you feel better. You either need to find a way to ignore their presence, or sacrifice the forum to stay sane.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

      Comment


        #4
        I am so sorry to hear what you have had to be through.

        It definitely sounds like you did the right thing.
        I also think it might be a good idea to stay away from the forum.

        All the best and hope you can start healing.

        Comment


          #5
          You need to back off the forum for a while, if you don't, it'll be incredibly difficult to get over what happened and start to heal. Right now, the best thing, besides cutting all contact, is to avoid anyplace she also frequents. I know it doesn't seem fair, and there will be things you'll miss, but it's the best way to start mending your heart. I'm sorry this happened to you, and wish you luck.
          Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

          Comment


            #6
            I'm sorry for what happened and for your hurt and pain. I agree with everyone else - you must stay off that forum for your own good and find support elsewhere. Be good to yourself during this time of healing. Do something nice for yourself. Get out with friends and try to get your mind off the hurt.

            Comment


              #7
              Thanks so much for all the replies, the support and feedback really helps

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