When no one seems to understand

[prettybird92]

Hey Guys and Gals,

Our story starts off when we met over the internet, things blossomed from there. Our first time meeting was this past December for about 4 days, and it was nothing less than magical. When he had to leave, yes it was extremely hard to let go but we at least had a date set for when we would see each other again. That date is July 3rd, I'll be picking him up at 8 pm and I honestly can't wait.

But it's the time in between that has taken a toll on me mostly, like it does for all of us, no matter how long we have to wait. The time gets to me. So far it's been 125 days since we said goodbye and we have 89 more days to go. With the stress of classes and finals I've been a lot more vulnerable or in other words emotional. I can't seem to keep myself together. I have no one to go to who understands how I'm feeling and they're unable to help or give advice.

My friends who are both at home and in college just don't seem to grasp or understand how I feel when I'm down and out about my LDR. I really wish I had that support system who I could talk to and they'd be able to relate and not just shake their heads at me as if this relationship is a joke. Nothing about it is a joke, to me. And it honestly hurts to not have any support.

I'm willing to be that support for you and hopefully i'll get your support in return. Not being able to open up to anyone and keeping it all inside is eating away at me. I wouldn't wish this feeling upon anyone else because it's unbearable.

Do any of you have a similar situation? If so don't be shy to reply. I'm willing to be you're support too

Yours truly,
Casey

[piratemama]

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you have no one to understand. Most of us on the forum get that. I don't even try to explain how hard an LDR is to others. You'll see from the thread I just posted tonight that I understand the problems with an LDR.

I'm glad you found the forum, as you can find lots of caring support here. I've learned in life that we always need to be validated, but we don't always find it.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Hey Guys and Gals,

Our story starts off when we met over the internet, things blossomed from there. Our first time meeting was this past December for about 4 days, and it was nothing less than magical. When he had to leave, yes it was extremely hard to let go but we at least had a date set for when we would see each other again. That date is July 3rd, I'll be picking him up at 8 pm and I honestly can't wait.

But it's the time in between that has taken a toll on me mostly, like it does for all of us, no matter how long we have to wait. The time gets to me. So far it's been 125 days since we said goodbye and we have 89 more days to go. With the stress of classes and finals I've been a lot more vulnerable or in other words emotional. I can't seem to keep myself together. I have no one to go to who understands how I'm feeling and they're unable to help or give advice.

My friends who are both at home and in college just don't seem to grasp or understand how I feel when I'm down and out about my LDR. I really wish I had that support system who I could talk to and they'd be able to relate and not just shake their heads at me as if this relationship is a joke. Nothing about it is a joke, to me. And it honestly hurts to not have any support.

I'm willing to be that support for you and hopefully i'll get your support in return. Not being able to open up to anyone and keeping it all inside is eating away at me. I wouldn't wish this feeling upon anyone else because it's unbearable.

Do any of you have a similar situation? If so don't be shy to reply. I'm willing to be you're support too

Yours truly,
Casey

Welcome! You have come to the right place. Many of us are in similar situations. People don't understand. Families don't offer support, and sometimes are dead set against us. And it doesn't matter what age you are, either. Parents can be against their children, and children can be against parents who are in a LDR. The consensus seems to be that people in LDR are crazy, can't find anyone closer, etc., especially if you meet someone clear across the world on the Internet. And yet, it does happen more and more, and it is becoming more common as people find each other on Facebook or other Social Networks, or travel for education or careers.

[squeeker]

Hi! You've come to the right place! Almost all (if not all of us) here understand to at least some degree! Sometimes people just don't understand.. because they don't know.. only the two people in the relationship know what they feel and whether it's worth pursuing! And you have a date set, and can physically countdown the days, which is great. And when you are apart, it's not like your relationship pauses, we have Skype (and skype like video call programs) and all other ways to communicate, which help us through the times apart, where we can share stories and everything with each other.

Good luck and stick around, and you'll see the stories of more people in similar situations like yourself!! Stay strong!

[ldrxoxo]

Hey Guys and Gals,

Our story starts off when we met over the internet, things blossomed from there. Our first time meeting was this past December for about 4 days, and it was nothing less than magical. When he had to leave, yes it was extremely hard to let go but we at least had a date set for when we would see each other again. That date is July 3rd, I'll be picking him up at 8 pm and I honestly can't wait.

But it's the time in between that has taken a toll on me mostly, like it does for all of us, no matter how long we have to wait. The time gets to me. So far it's been 125 days since we said goodbye and we have 89 more days to go. With the stress of classes and finals I've been a lot more vulnerable or in other words emotional. I can't seem to keep myself together. I have no one to go to who understands how I'm feeling and they're unable to help or give advice.

My friends who are both at home and in college just don't seem to grasp or understand how I feel when I'm down and out about my LDR. I really wish I had that support system who I could talk to and they'd be able to relate and not just shake their heads at me as if this relationship is a joke. Nothing about it is a joke, to me. And it honestly hurts to not have any support.

I'm willing to be that support for you and hopefully i'll get your support in return. Not being able to open up to anyone and keeping it all inside is eating away at me. I wouldn't wish this feeling upon anyone else because it's unbearable.

Do any of you have a similar situation? If so don't be shy to reply. I'm willing to be you're support too

Yours truly,
Casey

I do understand you completely about the time in between. I met mine over the Internet, too. He honestly makes me angry that he won't even meet me for a first time because I know it would be magical for us as well with how strongly we connected over the Internet. I'm glad to hear that you being in different countries you're still able to at least meet once. My LDR made me feel like crap he's eight+ hours away in the same country and we don't need to bother with plane tickets or anything and he acts like 8+ hours is really far. I guess it is when people don't have the schedule, cars, or money, too, but still he could have at least kept in contact with me to make it better for the both of us until we could meet. Gradually stopped contacting me, I wasn't going to have that.

The time in between drove both of us crazy. We didn't know when we were even going to meet for a first time. It could have been this summer or next year, there was no set date. To top it off, he was making less time to talk to me which worsened everything and my friends think he pushed me away because he doesn't think this will work out and he thought that was the only way instead of actually trying.

Mine's kind of similar to yours with the time in between, but different also.

I was wondering who else met theirs online also. I think most people have met theirs in person first and already knew them before. I haven't really talked to many people who met theirs online first.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I do understand you completely about the time in between. I met mine over the Internet, too. He honestly makes me angry that he won't even meet me for a first time because I know it would be magical for us as well with how strongly we connected over the Internet. I'm glad to hear that you being in different countries you're still able to at least meet once. My LDR made me feel like crap he's eight+ hours away in the same country and we don't need to bother with plane tickets or anything and he acts like 8+ hours is really far. I guess it is when people don't have the schedule, cars, or money, too, but still he could have at least kept in contact with me to make it better for the both of us until we could meet. Gradually stopped contacting me, I wasn't going to have that.

The time in between drove both of us crazy. We didn't know when we were even going to meet for a first time. It could have been this summer or next year, there was no set date. To top it off, he was making less time to talk to me which worsened everything and my friends think he pushed me away because he doesn't think this will work out and he thought that was the only way instead of actually trying.

Mine's kind of similar to yours with the time in between, but different also.

I was wondering who else met theirs online also. I think most people have met theirs in person first and already knew them before. I haven't really talked to many people who met theirs online first.

We met on Facebook 4 years ago, and have been LDR online ever since, with no definite plans to meet anytime soon. It's complicated with both of us having families, him still working, financial concerns, and especially being an International LDR, 9300 miles from each other.

[Purplette]

Hi Casey,

You are in the right site. All of us can definitely understand your situation. You can rely on us. Being here for two days, made me realized I am not alone when it comes to this LDR.

[ldrxoxo]

We met on Facebook 4 years ago, and have been LDR online ever since, with no definite plans to meet anytime soon. It's complicated with both of us having families, him still working, financial concerns, and especially being an International LDR, 9300 miles from each other.

Having a strong connection with someone and wanting to meet in the summer when we started talking in January just drove me crazy. We'd say to each other if we could, we'd hang out during the weekends but we had no way of driving there on the weekends. I don't know if I could wait four years! I'd definitely have to really like the guy. Hopefully after that long it will be the real deal. Man, in four years I'd be 32 and he'll be 24, lol. :/

[differentcountries]

I suppose you know all about Skype and different apps to use. But I notice you don't mention anything about gifts, letters and such. For us, the tips I found on this site have been great. Sending stuff in there mail doesn't have to be expensive. Just knowing he wears stuff I bought and reads books I made, makes a lot of difference. It is very symbolical for him, too. He loves his compliments so that is why it worked, I guess. The first 2 months of our relationship, after having met on holiday, we did not meet and did not know when we would. I was in a situation at work that made planning and money difficult, also I got him a smart phone for contact so my money went into that. I know it can be hard to wait. After my first revisit, especially before we set the next date, it was so hard. I cried myself into Christmas just from missing him so. Don't expect people to understand. Rather, use this site and each other as outlets. People here know about the hardship and the rewards that a LDR bring. Have you tried apps or physical calenders for the countdown? I have an app and I make him Encouragement calenders which also count down the time.

[NadWil]

Hi Casey,
I can absolutely relate to you! I feel so alone with my feelings and there is nothing I can do right now. I can't seem to keep myself together! I just wanna quit my master's that I'm doing right now and move somewhere with him! I am also hoping to get some support here, because I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to get through this time…

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

Hi Casey,
I can absolutely relate to you! I feel so alone with my feelings and there is nothing I can do right now. I can't seem to keep myself together! I just wanna quit my master's that I'm doing right now and move somewhere with him! I am also hoping to get some support here, because I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to get through this time…

All you can do is stay busy, and try to keep in touch with him as much as you can. And focus on your education. That is very important.

Welcome to the forums. We are all in similar situations and willing to support each other as we can.

[aojeda50]

I actually do feel the exact same way as you. Of course I'm the only one in my family and friends who is in an LDR and with someone where we met online. So at times it gets hard to talk about with other people since they dot see that as normal or safe, which I understand.
But it happened, and we are both doing great.
Sometimes though, talking to only him is not enough.
I don't really get to talk about him to anyone. My sister, who I was close to, doesn't really want to accept it and is a bit hesitant to hear me talk about it. My other sister is too young
And then it gets hard to try and talk to friends, especially when they just sit there in front of me not knowing what to say to me about my LDR. It's hard. And I really do wish there was someone for me to talk to

[prettybird92]

Hey again!

Hey again,

So i completely understand where you're all coming from. The struggle is to find someone who understands. It's so hard to tell people how exactly I met my SO to the point where im wrapped up in a big lie, and suspicion is just getting higher and higher. I don't want to have to hide my relationship from any of my friends. but they all say that this isn't good or healthy for me and that i've stooped to a new low, and that ive become desperate just because im in a long distance international relationship.

I just got off the phone with a friend who grilled me to no end on my relationship and nothing good came out of it. It breaks me down knowing that my friends are "ashamed" of my desicions and the fact that they only see my life going down the drain. And even though they agree to a point that they dont understand what im going through they still want to remain oblivious to what i have to say.

It's not the distance of the relationship thats getting to me, it's the fact that My friends give me no support and keep putting me down. I just want my old friends back, and i want their support and for them to stop putting these awful thoughts in my head about my relationship because it's making me think i've made a huge mistake.

[differentcountries]

You need be more open about how you met if you want your friends to respect you. If you keep something secret they may think you are ashamed. Even with openness, it may be hard. You are not the same person from this experience, and that can be hard for people to deal with. They probably have all sorts of weird ideas about long distance, too. Friends may mean well, but can sometimes act hurtful in their attempts to guide others. Don't let them get to you. Also, don't expect them to support you. Even if people become more friendly, it can be hard for them if they don't get it. Try to forgive them.