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    Start a LDR or not?

    I have a friend from HK, We are like tween souls, and we have talk about start a relation. she is not suere about it because of the distance, she says it is important to her. I have realized I care about her too much and I love her even though we haven't met face to face. we enjoy our facetime or fb conversatios. Sometimes she talks to me as a friend but she also talks to me as someone who is really interested in me... but sometimes she is cold. I am confused at this point, I want to start a relationship with her but now I don't know if it will work, not because of me, but because of her. we have talke about meeting this november but my job is in the middle. What should I do? Should I stop? should I continue? if we start a relation, who is going to move? Who is going to leave job, home and family? who is going to risk everything?
    Last edited by D4N; May 1, 2014, 12:00 AM. Reason: Add information

    #2
    In my point of view, I guess it is better to meet this person face to face. Being connected online is completely different from meeting her personally. She already told u that she is not really sure about LDR, if both of u want to work for it one should sacrifice. Both of u should be ready to deal about the ups and downs of being in LDR.
    Its hard growing up without a father, but its easy when you have a fantastic mother who plays both roles.

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      #3
      It could be the uncertainties of LDR makes her reserved. Meet her if you can, take things from there :-) . It is too soon to make plans for closing the distance.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        I agreed with them both. First step, meet her first.

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          #5
          Hello, I am thankfull to all af you for your comments, I appreciate your help, your points of view are very respectable, I believe that the information I presented from the beginning was not completely clear and I would like to complement it to let you have a better idea of my situation and this way probably could understand better my problem.
          I do know my friend and she knows me more than I know her I guess. we bouth know when we have a problem just by talking on the phone or by texting each other, we don´t hide anythig. that is why I said we are tween souls, because we are too similar, in fact we wrote and recorded a short melody together. that was amazing. the result was a very romantic composition, or that's what people say about our song.
          I know her when she is confused and when she is sad, when she is happy and when she is mad about something. I also know when to text her and when is not appropiated to do it ans so does she. She asked me to go to Hong Kong to visit her and then she is going to make a desition. I don't care if she says yes or not, I know we will keep our friendship just as it is right now.
          Update:
          We had a conversation some days ago and she told me she cleared her mind and now she is more convinced to start a LDR, in fact she changed a lot, she text me everyday, and now she is starting to post on my wall (something she's never done it before).

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            #6
            I am happy to know than your relationship finaly start.
            I was in that situation, i have met my SO on twitter 2 years ago and we never met face to face. Actualy we are in a relationship for nearly 5 months.
            At the begining, I wasn't sure about that, but she made me understand than if we don't try, we will never know what could happen.
            Its not easy every day to be in an LDR, my SO was crying at the phone this morning and it hurt me everytime, but if you love each other, distance will not be a break and make your couple stronger. I can also tell you than you found a good place to hepl you, peaple in this forum already gave me a lot of good advises and support.
            Wish you the best
            Last edited by François; May 7, 2014, 09:41 AM.

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              #7
              I think she was feeling the same as you: What should I do? Should I stop? should I continue? if we start a relation, who is going to move? Who is going to leave job, home and family? who is going to risk everything?
              Maybe that made her a bit reserved...
              I think it's perfectly possible to start a relationship over internet (when you've seen each others faces on skype, facetime or anything!)
              Many people here on this forum have a relationship with someone they haven't met in person yet.
              Ofcourse that's something that eventually will have to happen. But it might be a bit too soon to think about 'who's gonna move where'. Let the relationship evolve first!

              It sounds like you are having a great time together!
              I would say: have a really good chat about this and take it slow

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                #8
                When my SO and I were going through this my dad said "I think you both are just saying what you think the other person is thinking. If you would just say what you were really thinking, you would find that the other person is probably thinking that too." It was really good relationship advice. I'm glad things worked out for you.

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                  #9
                  I am glad to say all your advises have been so usefull to develope a healthy relationship with my SO, everithing is going better now, we decided to tell everithing to each other and to to hide antithing. It is working good and I am thaknkfull I found this forum

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                    #10
                    Thanks nottheprincesspeach for advise, saying what I really feel and think instead trying to impress her works better. Thank you
                    Last edited by D4N; May 17, 2014, 05:09 PM.

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                      #11
                      I agree with the members that commented. Definitely meet her first and find out for certain if she is someone that you really want in your life.
                      LDRs are so much about taking risks and compromising. And there are uncertainties as well. You won't know right away who's going to move where, because you two have to get to know each other better and see how the other person lives and figure out if you are willing to make some sacrifices. It's also a serious matter.
                      It seems like you are ready for a long distance relationship. I think you should ask her straightforward if she wants the same, assuming you have not already.
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