New LDR relationship. Sad,angry and confused. No idea what i did wrong!! Please help

[NerdyChick]

I really should take a deep breath. I will try to be the same guy that she fell for and not change how I act. I guess I just have to make sure and not make any "romantic" comments until she does it first.

That's exactly it, just be yourself and give it some time, because in a worthwhile relationship you should want someone who loves you exactly how you really are, not how you thought they'd want you to be.
You can decide to approach this however you feel is best. But yeah, just assume it's all okay until you know more. Being at a distance definitely takes some getting used to, there is always an adjustment period. I tell myself this when I am starting to over think: "In the absence of information, choose to believe whatever makes you feel best not worst."

[newguy]

That's exactly it, just be yourself and give it some time, because in a worthwhile relationship you should want someone who loves you exactly how you really are, not how you thought they'd want you to be.
You can decide to approach this however you feel is best. But yeah, just assume it's all okay until you know more. Being at a distance definitely takes some getting used to, there is always an adjustment period. I tell myself this when I am starting to over think: "In the absence of information, choose to believe whatever makes you feel best not worst."

Thanks again, you make a lot of sense.

I feel like an idiot now. Her sister actually has a huge crush on my best friend, she also has a huge mouth. the sister told my best friend that she was wondering why i stopped texting her. The sister also told him that she is very insecure and that she didn't text me that night cause she fell asleep and now she was confused why i stopped texting her. She has a lot of pride too so she was telling her sister she is not going to text me first. She also said her sister likes me a lot. You were totally right nerdychick. I was actually close to never texting her again if u didn't tell me to text her again. I almost totally screwed my self over... I feel like such a dumb ass....

[Elizabeth123]

Communicate with your SO - in an LDR it is vital.
I agree with Nerdychick...she gave you good advice. Wishing the best for you both.

[newguy]

Communicate with your SO - in an LDR it is vital.
I agree with Nerdychick...she gave you good advice. Wishing the best for you both.

thanks. her advice was good. I will try to follow it as best as i can.

[newguy]

That's exactly it, just be yourself and give it some time, because in a worthwhile relationship you should want someone who loves you exactly how you really are, not how you thought they'd want you to be.
You can decide to approach this however you feel is best. But yeah, just assume it's all okay until you know more. Being at a distance definitely takes some getting used to, there is always an adjustment period. I tell myself this when I am starting to over think: "In the absence of information, choose to believe whatever makes you feel best not worst."

so its been a little over a week and things have gotten worse, we gone from texting each other 30 times a day to 5. she seems to make up excuses when ever i try to call her. She still is friendly in her text but barely responds to me and NEVER initiates a text. If i don't text her first, we just wont Text at all. She also stopped trying to keep the conversation going. I finally got fed up and texted her this:

"Last week I told u if u need me, I'm here for u and I missed you. You told me that if I needed you, you would be there for me and u miss me too. I meant every word i said,If u meant what you said to me then i need u now.I need to know where we stand, because I still like you and if your not feeling it or the distance is too much, then It's ok, just let me know"

To which she replied:

"I just been busy... And tired. I just fell asleep on my bed a couple of nights in a row... I have trouble sleeping usually. Maybe I've been too tired lately. I really feel soooo tired, not just physically. The time difference makes if really hard for us to talk... And I am not assuming anything becuz time might change a lot of things. There's nothing certain. I just don't wanna throw myself into something and then realize it's gonna be disappointing anyways. I guess it's just my personality and I just tend to be more pessimistic. It doesn't mean I don't care about you or don't wanna talk to you, but we never know what would happen. You might meet someone next week, next month..... Of course I meant what I said. But it is also true that at times I feel alone and I have to be strong and face it on my own... There are many things bothering me... I'm just very sensitive.
I just thought I'll leave it to time and fate and see what happens...."

Because i know she has low self esteem and is a huge pessimist, i thought what she needed was more reassurance so i texted her back this:

"i love the way you smile the way you say "what do you mean" the way u say "thank you" I like you a lot and the first couple of weeks we were together, i knew that you felt the same way too. I knew you liked me and you showed a lot of your true self in front of me which made me feel so special. i made you happy and i know i can do it again. I want to make sure you are never alone anymore. i want to take away all your insecurities and pain and show you that life can be amazing all the time. I want to prove to you that you can trust me and im not like the other guys that hurt you and that i can give you true happiness. I know the distance is tough but i will do everything i can to close the distance. get the time off from work, i will fly you out to me anytime,next week even. we will figure times on my days off or yours to talk. I've been in other long distance relationships before and if you decide to give this a shot, i promise you that when we see each other, it will be magical.. i can't promise you that if you throw your self in to me, that you wont be disappointed later on. I can't predict the future, but i can promise you i will give you everything i have to make you happy. No matter what happens, i will always hope the best for you and respect the decision you make. "

To which she answered:

"I also need some time to think about what you said I read it many times... Just so you know. And thank you for opening up and telling me how you feel"

so now, for the last 3 days we seem to fall back in to the 5 to 6 text routine again. she still seems to be dodging my phone calls. Maybe she seems a little bit more friendly.

So i guess what i want to know is.... Is it still her insecurities and pessimism about our distance that is holding her back? or has she just lost her feelings for me? or maybe its both? Im going crazy with the not knowing, i wish she either dump me or tell me she wants to be with me.

should i patiently wait for her to "maybe" let me know what she wants or do? or do i try to confront her and ask her directly again? Will patiently waiting yield better results then directly asking her what she wants to do with our relationship? I've never been in a situation like this before and the not knowing is driving me crazy...

[silvermoonfairy3]

Honestly, her feelings about you are kind of irrelevant, in a way. If she cares but still acts like this, I'm guessing that won't work for you.

I don't know her at all, obviously, but my gut is that she's not particularly interested. As much as it sucks, I'd probably break it off.