This is why I hate Facebook

[QueenB92]

Today has been a stress filled day. Something (maybe God) told me to recover my deactivated FB page and check on his. I know he doesn't post anything, just random videos or pictures with quotes. He likes a lot of his favorite football team pictures and updates (and maybe a few of his "friends" which happen to be girls...just a twinge of jealousy if she's pretty. My "close friends" list tells me all about my close friends.) He deactivated it before, but then got back on about a month ago. Something was up, I felt it. What did I see? His status was Single. It never was there before we officially began our relationship or after. I questioned him about when this happened but he said it was before we were together and he never paid attention to it. Obviously one of us remembers when this could of happened but I still believe I'm correct. He really feels terrible about it and says he loves me more than FB and that he doesn't do anything on there. He says he doesn't want to lose me over this. I've trusted him up to that very moment. I don't know what to think. At least a good side to all of this is that he told me he'll deactivate the account, and he did. He just keeps telling me that he loves me and feels terrible. He should. The only question I haven't asked yet is why. All the hell that we been through before this I wouldn't want to leave him over THIS. I will get to the bottom of this.

[Moon]

I somehow don't think god told you to get on Facebook

That said, if he indeed had an inactive account, and only just reactivated it, it very well could have a single status. Can't he just change it to in a relationship, and be done with it? I think you may be making a mountain from a molehill here. When you go into your FB account, it doesn't show you all of the things you've put into your settings, it shows your feed, you'd have to look for that, and it's something easily forgotten.

[NerdyChick]

Um, your post was kind of hard to follow, but I gather that you had a deactivated account, decided to get on it and check up on your SO, and saw it said "Single" instead of "In a Relationship" and immediately assumed he is like cheating on you or being unfaithful in some way? I mean...is a FB status really that important? You say he pretty much never posts, but he'll 'like' pictures and things, and you yourself said you deactivated your account until today? I mean are you super suspicious and mad because you feel he lied to you in some way? Has he ever given you a legit cause to believe he is untrustworthy before? Because if not, I agree with Moon, sounds like a mountain out of a molehill, especially if you both don't actively use Facebook. But only you know if he is actually capable of something or if you are overreacting out jealously or past bad experiences. I hope you two can sort of talk it out, but if he's not shown any signs of being a cheater or a liar, and doesn't have a past history of it in other relationships, maybe give him the benefit of the doubt? But if your gut it telling you something is wrong and you feel he is capable of it, definitely be skeptical.

[QueenB92]

I think you're both right. It seems to be way over reacting. It has to be history of bad relationships and that wouldn't be fair to put on anyone. He doesn't seem to have signs of cheating or lying. This is dumb I don't even know why I posted it. We'll resolve it. Thanks for your imputs

[Moon]

It's very easy to see something and let anger get to you, without stopping to think if it makes sense or not, we've all done it. I think if you just try to let your anger go a little bit, and think of all the reasonable ways this could have happened, you'll probably find out it was just a dumb mistake. In an LDR, you've got to have trust, and keep the green-eyed monster away, if you can do that, your relationship will be all the better for it. Good luck.

[NerdyChick]

Don't feel bad for posting, we all can get into that space where our past and emotions attached to it take control over the present. Just take a deep breath and don't be too hard on yourself, we all have our stuff to work on and overcome. I agree with Moon though, in LDR's trust is very important, but when you've had your trust broken a lot in the past with past people, it can be an easy jump to put those suspicions and expectations on your new SO, even if they haven't done anything to lose your trust or make you believe they are untrustworthy. Just being aware of it can make a ton of difference though and if you ever need sort of a reality check about things, this forum is a great place for third party non-biased perspectives, which can help. Wishing you and your guy all the best.

[Ahava]

I think as Moon said(?) it could be technical thing on Facebook. I remember a couple years ago my ex (who had had a FB account earlier and then deactivated it) activated it again and I got friend request from him, thought it was weird, but accepted it. Then not long after that he drobbed me out of his friends and texted me saying he doesn't want to have ex's as friends, which I'm fine with, but I then texted him to say that he should learn to make up his mind, I mean first he asks me and then he deletes me. Turns out FB was sending those friend requests for him to people he had been friends with before deactivating his account.

So maybe your boyfriends status just went back to single as FB can't know if a person is in a relationship or not when they reactivate their account.

[Malaga]

Facebook is only as much drama as you make of it. What's with all the deactivating and reactivating? I never really understood the point of it.

[Ahava]

Facebook is only as much drama as you make of it. What's with all the deactivating and reactivating? I never really understood the point of it.

Couldn't agree with you more.

Talk about FB caused drama, wonder how many people are freaking out coz it wasn't working this morning. (It might have been just Finland, who knows, but it was down this morning)