Cultural & religious differences

[hmmtayy]

Does anyone have experience with Muslim/Christian relationships and how it has worked out?
My bf is Muslim and I am Christian.
His mother is very strict about him marrying a Muslim girl. I worry that his parents will never be able to accept their son marrying a Christian girl.

[differentcountries]

We are (I am Christian, he is Muslim) , but his family is not book religious. The observere some religious rules but not all and they dont go to the mosque. For us, the issue is more we can't marry and now we basically just live together, which sometimes worry him a bit because everyone else is married.

[nottheprincesspeach]

I am an atheist and have had to pretty much stop dating religious people. I am sure it is quite possible for you to make it work, but it is hard when you have someone so important to him against you. My current SO's family assumes I am passively Christian, which is what my parents think too so that works for me. One thing to consider is if you would ever be willing to convert. In the end it's just something you have to talk out with your partner in my opinion.

[JaneEmily]

One thing to consider is if you would ever be willing to convert. In the end it's just something you have to talk out with your partner in my opinion.

I was wondering why no one had suggest the possible idea of converting. I know there are some complexities to iron out such as who'll do the converting, and what consequences that might have in regards to how each family take the news in or respond to it? It'll be hard for either half if one family disowns their child for following their heart

It really is a shame that in this day and age that two people can't be together without their families being on their backs about religion and keeping to their traditions. I respect everyone's traditions but at the end of the day, if two people are madly in love and feel that they fit right together and both families see that, I don't see why they shouldn't be allowed to be together. After all, isn't happiness what we all strive for regardless of our beliefs, our backgrounds and who we are? Hmm. It's so tricky. I feel bad for couples who have to go through situations like this - they don't want to upset their families but at the same time, they really want to be together and make it work.

I wish the OP and her boyfriend good luck. It must be unimaginably hard for them. I can't imagine what I'd do, or how I'd respond if me and my SO were different religions and there was outside pressure from family members to give it up for the sake of not being disowned. It really is a tough situation. Best of luck to you, hmmtayy.

[TwoThree]

I can't (at least not directly) relate to your situation, OP, because both my SO and myself are atheists and see eye-to-eye on pretty much every issue that has to do with religion.

I can, however, offer some insight because I come from a Muslim background (all of my family is Muslim to date)

Inter-religious (and inter-cultural) relationships are hard. It takes a lot of open-mindedness and compromise on both sides, but I'm sure there are many, many examples out there of people who made it work.

Your SO's mother wants him to marry a Muslim girl. As far as I know, ALL Muslim mothers want the same thing. Some do come round and accept their son's choices to marry outside the faith/culture/race, but many don't, and will treat their step-daughters very coldly at best.

It all boils down to what kind of a man your SO is. If he is strong-minded and wants to stand up to his family for the sake of your relationship, it will be difficult but it will all be worth it in the end. You have to have a frank discussion with him to see where he stands. If his family is more important to him that anything else, it'll be an uphill battle for you.

I'd like to point out that religiously speaking it's perfectly OK for him to marry a Christian girl, so he wouldn't be breaking "the law" or anything. However any children you might have will be de-facto considered Muslims. One more thing you need to discuss (and think about yourself) is how to raise your children. If he is the least bit religious he will make sure they are Muslims, trust me.

[TwoThree]

I was wondering why no one had suggest the possible idea of converting.

In my honest opinion, conversion is a terrible idea. I think relationships should be based on respect, including respecting one another's opinions, views and beliefs. I don't think anyone should change on such an important, core-level as religious beliefs, for anyone else. If your partner asks you to do that, it is wrong. That he/she would think that your beliefs trump yours is utterly disrespectful.

Of course there are people who convert gladly because they don't really care, but obviously OP cares since she said clearly she is Christian.

Also note that if you convert to Islam and later realize that you do not agree with its teachings/hate it/whatever reason, apostasy is punishable by death.

[nottheprincesspeach]

I can't (at least not directly) relate to your situation, OP, because both my SO and myself are atheists and see eye-to-eye on pretty much every issue that has to do with religion.

This is a great point in my mind. My SO and I have this as well and this is really good to have in a life mate. I love that my SO and I believe all of the same fundamental things. It was a bit exhausting in the past trying to make it work with someone that believed differently. The more these relationships progressed, the more it became an issue.

[differentcountries]

I was wondering why no one had suggest the possible idea of converting. I know there are some complexities to iron out such as who'll do the converting, and what consequences that might have in regards to how each family take the news in or respond to it? It'll be hard for either half if one family disowns their child for following their heart

Converting is a huge deal. I would never do it. Though I do believe that we all worship the same God, I feel more for the Christian description of Him. SO could not convert because he does not know how he feels about God. There would be no point unless he sincerily believed.