holding out hope

[merlinkitty]

But I can't get past all of the great times we have had together.

You may need to, honey. I don't like this at all. Two days is freaking horrible notice to give you. It's just screaming a massive lack of respect. I'll say one thing, you've got a lot of time in your favor. But the last guy I dated, it took me 9 years of similar stuff for me to finally pull my head out and say that this guy just doesn't see my value. And I'm worried perhaps because you have been around so long and through so much that he's taking you for granted. I just can't get over how disrespectful that was, even as a friend, to give you such little notice that your trip isn't going to go down.

Trips to the UK/US aren't cheap. And you've visited each other a lot. I know there are other things I don't know, but it seems to me a lot of money is being spent just to get laid and he doesn't seem to be willing to take it further :/

And why is there this double standard that women remain faithful, while men run around? That's not at all right to expect you to put your life on hold while he's out doing his thing, worried about trying to remain faithful to the gf he didn't have the decency to tell you about until 2 days before you left.

[Dave12314]

I am by no means a veteran here. I've been in an LDR since January. We have been very successful so far, but it hasn't been without it's problems for sure. I attribute our success to rules, boundaries, mutual love and respect, and a no later than date for CD. For instance, neither of us will ever date other people. That has been signed off on us both as a deal breaker. We also respect the fact that we live separate lives and have to be understanding of that when things interfere with our normal FaceTime dates (this was a hard one for me). We arrange visits at least once every 2 months. Ultimately, if he truly loves you and you truly love him, you need to be honest with one another and set these rules in place. That being said, like others have mentioned, him dropping this on u 2 days prior to ur visit says something. Either he is pushing you away or his guilty conscious was eating away at him. Another possibility is he might have planned on his gf being gone during ur visit and her plans changed last minute. Whatever the case, it's way outside acceptable limits. I think you have two options here...if u think the relationship is worth saving...then u 2 owe each other a long talk on the subject. Otherwise, there are a lot of people in this world and I'm sure you can connect with someone who will show u the respect you deserve.

[beachgirl123]

Thanks for all the advise and insight. It really helps especially when I'm not thinking with a clear head. It's going to take some time to get over this but I'm going to try to go out and enjoy life. And whatever happens, happens.