How to cope with emotions?

[ViVa]

Hi there,

It feels like I'm posting here just to comfort myself this time, but oh well...

so right now it's a pretty calm time for my LDR relationship, we both work, both are busy, but we do have time for instant chatting/e-mailing. We skype at least 4 times a week and this is where I get my emotional issues. Even though it's really hard for me to be in an LDR and I have these moody moments pretty often, I can manage to handle them. I usually write these things to him, because I think it is important to let him know how I feel (on the other hand he is almost never feeling anything "abnormal", like sadness, melancholy or anger so compared to him I am a true drama queen). but when we skype I get this feeling like I am about to start crying and I get so moody I really don't want to say anything at all or share details about my day, work (it's really just work-home for me right now). Then I often start speaking my mind out loud about how sad I feel and that everything seems difficult and there's so much waiting in my life...Of course he finds it hard to deal with me when I'm like that and claims he tried everything and I should go and see a psychologist if I feel like this all the time. But the true is that I don't know how serious this is. I even feel stupid about thinking of going to a psychologist and telling about my "problems". How can anyone help me if I can't change the situation? Of course we all can choose our attitudes, but there's just moments when you get back to reality and your own moody mindset. not skyping is not an option obviously. We are serious about our relationship, but we don't know when we will close it, so I really don't want to be this bipolar person who is wining on skype all the time. Maybe I cannot handle long distance anymore, because I have changed so much and up to the point where I feel best if I am on my own, not going out with friends or to interesting events, still living with my parents because I feel safe there, not thinking about continuing my education anymore because all I want is to be with him etc etc. He didn't really change that much I think. He tells me all the time I should accept things as they are right now, but I just don't want to do it. So there's a lot of confrontation I am feeling every day. I even wonder sometimes if I wasn't feeling happier when I was single...

[snow]

I get sad moments sometimes. Sometimes seeing his face makes me miss him incredibly much and I even tear up, but I don't feel this way the whole time. The distance is just another obstacle we have to overcome so I can't and won't let it become bigger than it really is. If you are feeling this way the whole time, I agree with your SO on going to a therapist and finding out what is going on! There is no shame in telling a non-biased person about your feelings and problems! If you can, you definitely should!

Your situation is what you make of it. If you don't want to accept things as they are, see if you can find a way to change it. Maybe you can close the distance sooner. Maybe you can continue school where your SO lives or maybe he could move to you. The only thing you need to keep in mind is to be smart about it. Leaving everything behind, dropping out of school, etc, etc, just because you want to be with him right now, might not be the smartest thing. Talk to your SO about it and see if you can find a way to solve your issues.