Any advice for a LDR?

[rhvd29]

Hello,

So my partner and I have lived together for almost 2 years in his house. He has just accepted an incredible job in Munich, Germany. His job starts in October and will be moving out then.

I am a primary school teacher and I accepted a job before he got his so I will be staying here from September to next July.

We have been together long enough for us to both know that 8 months apart will be fine and we will be trying to see each other during my school holidays and other special occasions.

I just wanted to know if anyone had any advice for LDRs? I will be extremely busy in my first year of teaching and I will also have another person to move into a room in our house so I have company!

Hopefully someone can give me some good advice or even some things you do when you're apart - Skype and video chat is a given I guess and maybe even a Skype sleepover!

[Moon]

ermmm...this whole forum is advice for LDR's! Look around, you'll get more advice than you could ever hope for.

[LovingAcrossTheAtlantic]

Even though there are a lot of other posts about this, I would just like to say that communication is always key. I am assuming there will be a time difference, and that can make communication a little difficult sometimes. So just try your best, whether it be instant messaging or video chatting.

Also, do cute little things for him to remind him you care. Like sending long sweet messages randomly, good morning/night messages, or anything else you can think of. I get cheap thirsts from Walmart ($2-4) and draw on them with fabric markers. I'll write my bf's name or an LDR quote we both love, then send him pictures of it. My bf loves it when I do something like that!

[marlonraye]

Hi Rhvd29,

The one thing that will kill any long distance relationship (from my own experience) is taking each other for granted. There's a certain amount of presumption which can creep into any LDR if both people aren't careful.

So based on that the key thing to keeping your LDR alive and healthy is making time for each other every day, even if it's just a "good morning" text message or a quick phone call during the day. It’s very important to have some kind of "routine" that you both stick to, simply because it adds normality to your day - this would be stuff you'd be doing if you were living in the same city, so distance shouldn't be an obstacle to making the effort to communicate with each other.

Skype, WhatsApp, and all the other neat ways of staying in touch means you can do that literally whenever you want each day. Skype date nights are a good idea, because you can have dinner, chat and maybe even watch a movie together afterwards. Skype video chat also has some other uses too

The other thing to focus on is how few days there are left before you see each other again. So instead of focusing on the fact that it's 8 whole months before you move to Munich instead focus on the fact that you'll see each other in the next “X” number of days. 8 months will fly by anyway, but if you break that time into smaller chunks it will go even more quickly.

You're both going to be busy in your own lives between your first year of teaching and his new job in Munich, just make sure that you never take each other for granted by communicating every single day. If you can do that then I don't see you having any real problems

Marlon

[thehappyhope]

So far, my conclusion is that the magic formula seems to be: love + faith + open, honest communication.

[differentcountries]

Plan the visits. Do a countdown for each visit. Give gifts, send letters, take Skype outdoors too. I love Viber for daily contact. Staying busy will help, but if you are too good at it it may make your relationship a bit shallow. Take the temperature of the relationship in between visits too.

[thehappyhope]

Taking Skype outdoors is a good idea! I'm new at this, and we're still finding our Skype frequency and all. Going to try having a meal "together" through Skype I'm just worried I'll end up needing more attention and communication that he will, since it was usually the case in my past relationships (none of them long distance).

[conejita_hada]

That's where the open communication comes in. If you start feeling like you need more than what is given, talk to him about it. Relationships are about compromise, both partners have to give a bit but in the end, communicate and work toward a happy medium that benefits both of you.