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**differentcountries** · July 29, 2014, 08:17 AM

I live part time in Turkey now, I travel usually once a month. I have been learning Turkish from websites and books, hopefully this fall I will take a proper language class. Most Turks don't speak much English, some speak German which I know a bit, many talk to me in Russian which I don't know at all! (they think I look Russian).

The biggest contast to Norway is the impulsivity and outgoingness. People really like talking to strangers and they don't plan so much ahead and dont follow rules relentlessly. Also, Norwegians like to prove we can do all by ourselves wheras things in Turkey are done through networks. It took me some time to get used to this.

Turkey is a Muslim country and you see a bit of veiled women and even men cover up more. This is true especially in the countryside. SOs mother is not very religious, but she will never eat pork and she wears headscarf outdoors. I cover up a bit more than in Norway, especially outside the beach.

Norwegians like to smoke /dry meat and fish wheras Turks often like to grill food. We often make fun out of this. His mother tried to grill the smoked salmon I brought and I ate Turkish sausage raw for months before I understood how to cook it.

My favourite thing about Turkey is the food, the music and the climate... My least favourite things are the corrupt politics and the poverty/lack of uppertunities.

I did feel out of element sometimes when I did not know any of the language, but now that I have some vocabulary I can often guess the rest from body language. That helps a lot, to be able to get the joke around the table.

**kittyxuchiha11** · July 29, 2014, 05:13 PM

I think the biggest shock to me when i was visiting my SO is how patriotic Americans really are. this of course isn't a bad thing but i always thought it was really exaggerated in the media and online and that no one could ever be this proud of their country. The flags on everyone's houses and the fact they sing the national anthem before a simple event like car racing was a bit of a shock. it was kinda of nice in a way but it was also make me quite uncomfortable since i am really not used to that sort of thing at all.

**Hollandia** · July 30, 2014, 06:35 AM

I go through culture shock so many times, I feel like I have had whiplash. I found USA to be very different from NL. The stores all mostly sell different brands, I miss my Ramen Noodles and Smart Food, and they have totally different hours from what I am used to. The language is daunting and frustrating to say the least for me. The type of food people eat here is so different. I miss BBQ in the summer, it's much more of a "special" thing to have them here whereas in USA in summer, that grill was fired up almost every night. It's a good thing but still shocking to use public transportation as main means of travel and the bikes everywhere are quite different from Delaware. I still forget it is Euros half the time and not Dollars and my mind cannot wrap around no more miles or Farenheit. I used to have a hundred stores that would deliver to me and a pick of a dozen places to grab quick food from.

I tell myself it's all still the same dirt from the same globe but yes, I do miss USA and go through culture shock, but it is still one hundred percent worth it.

**Hollandia** · July 30, 2014, 06:38 AM

Originally posted by kittyxuchiha11 View Post

I think the biggest shock to me when i was visiting my SO is how patriotic Americans really are. this of course isn't a bad thing but i always thought it was really exaggerated in the media and online and that no one could ever be this proud of their country. The flags on everyone's houses and the fact they sing the national anthem before a simple event like car racing was a bit of a shock. it was kinda of nice in a way but it was also make me quite uncomfortable since i am really not used to that sort of thing at all.

That's sweet that you think that of us. My Dad was a Marine and not only did he fly his flag, he flew his Marine flag and he actually brought them both in whenever it rained.

**differentcountries** · July 30, 2014, 10:30 AM

Another thing, Turks tend to connect being clean with health in a more fundamental way than Norwegians do, and in somewhat contasting ways. They have a saying like "to your health! "when people go out of the shower! I thought that was the funniest thing I ever heard. Turks have generations of culture around their baths, in fact my SO mother gave me a sort of scrubbing mitten that was cut from a bush in their garden, and a fat olive soap (also local product) to keep it soft with. Norwegians on the other hand, well in my childhood room there was a painting of a tired hiker (trying to reach a golden castle a couple of mountains away), I mean that tired and probably sweaty hiker is like our cultural ideal. If cleaning oneself was thought of as healty, it would be because you swam naked in an ice cold mountain lake! When I was a child I used to be praised by my extended family for my ability to take cold showers, instead of the luxury of warm water, which was also seen as mentally cleansing. For Turks, cold water (outside of summer) only means you are poor. In fact, even in spring SO refused to shower in our flat before the water heater was installed, claiming he would be sick. I think in part the focus on being clean have a Muslim origin that has spread to the whole culture, even if SO claims he has never been to the mosque.

**differentcountries** · July 30, 2014, 03:34 PM

I love the fact that in Turkey you can order really good take away cheap and have it delivered to your door, no extra charge! Also, if you order stuff online it takes no time to arrive. I ordered a bike, made a money transfer and a couple of days later it was delivered from the capital to the local bike store. You can get anything delivered, which here is condiered a luxury and mostly you pay extra fee for that.

I love checking out the local brands of food! I love spicy food. I like that they have outdoor markets with fresh fruit, vegetables and fish. I like that people stay outdoors a lot . Norwegians tends to be a lot indoors in their homes or at a mall, of course that has to do with weather too but still I am impressed that they like to hang out so much. Sometimes they don't even do anything, just has a cup of Turkish tea (which I love) and look at people.

Whenever you relate to a person, you relate to their network, which makes getting to know people easy. Also, they like to bring in their family if they can. AND... many things happen on a whim. I have developed a big patience to whatever goes on in restaurants, shops etc - there is like a mantra in my head: Anything can happen... SO actually think I am very patient! I go all hakuna matata

Wheras in Norway, I would be a little bit more like, can I speak to your manager, what is this, I thought we ordered this but we got that etc. In Turey, I just don't care. As long as I get food and nobody is in my face I am happy.

Also, there is no drug addicts where we live in Turkey, wheras where I live in Norway they are all over and they steal bikes - they took my last Norwegian bike three times, they have proffesional gear to destroy even heavy bike locks. In our Turkish town, I use just a tiny lock, or even leave my bike unlocked. I feel very safe there, too. I live among the Turks so I don't fear burglers looking for tourists to steal from. Living in Turkey is sometimes a shock, but it is equally a good shock. I used to think I had to have all kinds of Norwegian things (cosmetics, food brands etc) but I find that mostly I don't need them. I find that I can reinvent myself, and also that some things doesn't really matter that much, it is very freeing.

The political debate is very different. Turkey has been through lots of big reforms, one of them being politicians trying to steal a little less from public money... Newspapers have a sort of resigned attitude that I find people live by as well. Wheras Norwegians actually think our vote can change society, even if things often remain status quo here too. But at least we have got like basic rights...worker's rights and stuff like that. I find we regulate a bit too much.... But like the mine accident showed, people in Turkey are often cheated of basic rights to life and livelyhood. It sometimes bothers me that the reason I can get things cheap, is because they can afford to not pay the workers much. I adore SO's work, but he has got horrible work conditions and almost no rights, if he is sick he will still go to work, they even tried to make his colleage work when he had had a surgery the day before. And still I think they are pretty good employees for Turkey. I am often upset over Turkish politics, the censorship (the prime minister closed down YouTube for months). A high ranking politician in Turkey recently said in his Bayram speak that women in Turkey should not laugh out loud or look men in the eyes! Really...

I find Turks often are either very blunt (hey, you are pretty! or, what is that cit doing in your face?) or extremely polite. SO is like that too. It took some getting used to, as I in the beginning felt that they were either trying to manipulte or insult me! Now I am just fine with it, even expect it. Norwegians don't usually say that much either way, we are sort of afraid to insult people, wheras Turks just want the world to know their mind, lots of the time... I like that they confy easily, I don't like it when people don't share. If I don't like their ideas, at least they stated their mind. Compared to the people I know in Norway, the people I know in Turkey are less ironic...if they say something it is more genuine. They really ARE that romantically inclined and sweet, they put ribbons on their boats!

**GuineaPunk** · July 30, 2014, 05:34 PM

In my opinion, cultural differences are one of the great things about international relationships, if handled badly they can be a cause of strife, but if you are open minded and accepting it can make life really interesting.

Fortunately for me, I met my boyfriend in Kenya while I was travelling there, so it wasn't too much of a culture shock for me. We had already spoken in length about what life is like for him there, and how everything works, I questioned him endlessly! When I went over to Kenya again for the sole reason of visiting him and staying with his family, I was feeling pretty prepared.

The thing I enjoyed most about Kenyan life was how social everyone was, we couldn't walk two houses up the road without having to stop and talk to at least six different people. Everyone knew everyone! Granted there was a little more interest there because I was a visiting curiosity, but hardly an evening passed where his family didn't entertain a guest. My boyfriend's family are quite an 'old' family in that his father and his grandfathers were well respected in the community, and he in turn is very well respected despite his age. So lots of people to meet!

The aspect of my visit that I struggled with most was the misconceptions the Kenyan women have about white women (Hollywood and media has a lot to answer to in my opinion). I was laughed at consistently by the women there for all the things that I could do, I was laughed at when I prepared meals, or carried anything, or entertained the children. I made it my mission to prove to them that white women could do the same as African women. They genuinely thought that white women couldn't cook, or scrub floors, or wash their own clothes, or anything like that. One woman thought that all white women have wet nurses for their babies. When my boyfriend told them I drive and own a car they descended into hysterics for a good ten minutes. I suppose I could have found this rather amusing, but in all honesty I found it quite unsettling and frustrating in equal measure. The women who laughed at me were the ones bold enough to interact with me, the rest were highly suspicious of me, and it was hard to ignore some of the looks I got. I did feel like I was the enemy to some of them! The men on the other hand thought I was wonderful for being able to do everything the African woman does and also what the African man does, and it amazed them how open and affectionate I was with my boyfriend (don't worry, still no excessive PDA!) I was told at every corner by the chaps of all ages there, that African women are harsh. I'm sure that is not entirely true, but I found the whole segregation of the sexes difficult to deal with, and it is a big factor in why I don't think I could ever live there permanently.

I also loved how relaxed the atmosphere was there, no one ever seems to care what the time is! Everything happens as it happens, which I would imagine could be infuriating in some instances but just for living in his village environment it made the life feel pretty easy and care-free. Just before my visit to my boyfriend I had been having heart palpitations due to work and home related stress, within three days of being there I felt remarkably stress free despite my new surroundings. I left that village with a highly settled soul.

There are of course many other changes, but it was the different style and pace of life that really got me. I also loved the food there, but I struggled not understanding the tribal language, and hated not being able to wash my hair for two weeks!

**kittyxuchiha11** · July 30, 2014, 08:26 PM

Another thing that i've just remembered. it's mostly just a bit strange to me more than anything that (in PA anyway) they don't teach kids how to read 24 hour clock. i sent my SO a British website which had opening times in 24hour clock and she was so confused and literally didn't understand it at all. when i asked her why she didn't know 24 hour clock she told me that they don't get taught it in school because her teachers told them they'll only ever need it if they go into the military. that was just totally strange to me since in the UK we use 24 hour clock all the time.

**Unconditional** · July 30, 2014, 08:53 PM

Originally posted by kidon'tuchiha11 View Post

Another thing that i've just remembered. it's mostly just a bit strange to me more than anything that (in PA anyway) they don't teach kids how to read 24 hour clock. i sent my SO a British website which had opening times in 24hour clock and she was so confused and literally didn't understand it at all. when i asked her why she didn't know 24 hour clock she told me that they don't get taught it in school because her teachers told them they'll only ever need it if they go into the military. that was just totally strange to me since in the UK we use 24 hour clock all the time.

No, they don't generally teach that in schools in the U.S.
Another thing I don't get is, why doesn't the U.S. teach the metric system? Oh no, let's be conplicated and have all children learn a system that they can't ise anywhere but the U.S.! >_<

**silvermoonfairy3** · July 30, 2014, 09:10 PM

Originally posted by Unconditional View Post

Oh no, let's be conplicated and have all children learn a system that they can't ise anywhere but the U.S.! >_<

HEY!
US, Liberia, and Myanmar!
:P

You know, those places that Americans..frequently go to.. or.. not.
https://cdn3.chartsbin.com/chartimag...7640019918ebf6

**Unconditional** · July 30, 2014, 09:19 PM

Originally posted by silvermoonfairy3 View Post

HEY!
US, Liberia, and Myanmar!
:P

You know, those places that Americans..frequently go to.. or.. not.
https://cdn3.chartsbin.com/chartimag...7640019918ebf6

Still, it'd just be easier for us to adopt the metric system don't you think?

**silvermoonfairy3** · July 30, 2014, 10:16 PM

Originally posted by Unconditional View Post

Still, it'd just be easier for us to adopt the metric system don't you think?

Well yeah.
That post was mostly mocking that we haven't. :P

**Unconditional** · July 30, 2014, 10:28 PM

Originally posted by silvermoonfairy3 View Post

Well yeah.
That post was mostly mocking that we haven't. :P

My baf xD it is hard to understand sarcasm in text

**lucybelle** · July 30, 2014, 10:36 PM

Originally posted by Unconditional View Post

Still, it'd just be easier for us to adopt the metric system don't you think?

No, it wouldn't.

Also, I learned the metric system in school as that's what is used in science. So as a US citizen I learned both systems

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