Afraid of being tongue tied

[Alma]

Hey guys,

hope ya'll have a great weekend so far.
Well. I've been thinking about this quite a while know and this just scares me.
As most of you know, I'll meet my SO for the first time in october (yay).
But I am afraid of being tongue tied when I am finally there, like when we are talking on skype..sometimes we just sit in front of our laptops with no talking..I don't mind it but it's just awkward.

Since english is not my mother tongue and I don't know every single word (lol) I am afraid that our conversations won't be as good as they should be. Ah I just don't know.
Here I go again, the always overthinking girl I am. ahhh. AND I am a perfectionist, therefore I want to be fluent in english... And what bugs me is when I mix up the english tenses :/

I've started reading english books, watching english movies etc. to improve my english skills.
Do you know any other ways how I can improve my english? Especially when it comes to idioms.

Thanks guys for reading this and thanks for your advice in advance!!!

[differentcountries]

Have you tried Babbel.com?

Also, when you meet there is so much more than just language. There is body language and taking in the moment, too

[Alma]

Yes, tried it before but it just doesn't work for me

That's so true, totally forgot about that haha.

[Dziubka]

For me it's actually easier to communicate face-to-face.
Even if you have a good skype connection, it's still a bit unclear sometimes and part of the body language can get lost, because you usually only see someone's face or a small part of them on screen. You're also in the same space together and can point to things and so many things are just obvious from the situation, even if you don't understand every single word.

It might be a bit awkward at first, but it'll go by fast. Your boyfriend will get used to your accent and you to his.
My husband and I use a language that's not my first and sometimes we stumble upon words that I still don't know (though they're becoming fewer). I just ask him and he'll explain it (after a "HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THIS SUPER IMPORTANT WORD?" that I've heart someone use for the first time in the 7 years I've been learning your language. Yes, it's obviously very important!).
You can always ask him and other people to slow down a bit, too.

[silvermoonfairy3]

I think you'll be okay. Remember, in person, silences can be more comfortable than on Skype, because you can just snuggle. Cuddling quietly can be so nice and relaxing.

As for English, I think reading books and watching movies (and tv shows) is your best bet, especially for picking up the idioms and slang/colloquial stuff. You could also check out lists of common idioms? (https://www.idiomconnection.com/mostfrequent.html) or look up phrases when you come across them and they seem weird.

Or feel free to ask us, there are quite a few fluent English speakers here. And I have a degree in it.

One thing as far as reading books, if you can find some, I'd suggest reading ones that you're already pretty familiar with, to start off. As in, a book that you know in German but that was originally in English. That way you're not struggling to understand plot quite as much, and can focus more on the words and structure itself. Harry Potter is great for this sort of stuff, if you know that book a little bit. Well written, and at this point most people know the basics.

Your written English seems pretty good, though, so I think you'll be okay. One thing to remember too is that while English can be a bit of a complicated language, it's pretty flexible/fluid, so there are a lot of things you can "mess up" and people will still know exactly what you mean. A lot of times people won't think twice about the mistake. Where the French get a reputation for being French-language purists, us Americans are English-language butchers. Think of us as the anti-French. :P
(Anti here meaning opposite, not against!)

You mentioned tenses specifically, which tenses do you think you mix up? Are you referring to past/present/future and making the verbs correct?

[lucybelle]

This might be lame but I used to write a list of things to talk about before going on a first date. About a week ahead of time every time is thought of something interesting I'd write it down. Then date time you have a list!

[SquigglePops]

Firstly please don't worry! I am a native English speaker and my SO is a native Spanish speaker; though he speaks very good English it is nowhere near perfect, but that is something I love! We always refer to it as a Spanglish moment when he gets the tenses mixed up or just plain picks the wrong word, but it's endearing! I'm trying to learn Spanish and that has taught me how confusing it can be!

Maybe try teaching your SO some of your mother-tongue so you can both speak in a little of each language It reminds me of being a child and making up a secret language, just between the two of you

B x

[conejita_hada]

From your posts on here you're versed in the English language! I know it's more difficult when speaking. I learned my SO's language (am still learning) at the time we began our relationship. I asked him to be patient, slow down, speak clearly, and I also always request for him to repeat and not laugh when I can't understand or say something wrong. I've also found the forum on wordreference.com provides good tips when I can't figure out something. It sounds like you're on the right track. I'm sure it'll all be fine!

[snow]

Worst mistake I ever made was using can't bear as an equal translation to "nicht entbehren"! It was embarassing but after I explained what I meant thing were fine.
Trust me, your worries won't matter when you meet. If you are able to hold up a conversation over Skype, then you can do it in person.

You also have to understand that not every minute has to be filled with words. Especially when you are in person, you will see that not saying anything can say a lot in itself!

Good luck!

[thehappyhope]

Ahh let's be friends! My SO is German and I want to improve my German, haha. And yeah I agree, when you meet in person, words are not as important as during LDR, when you can't substitute messages and chats with physical hugs and kisses.

[TaraMarie]

I know this isn't the same thing, but it is along the same lines. Every year I host exchange students for the year. Actually, my newest arrives Saturday morning. Although they all speak English, it is not their native language. Only two have spoken fluent English. The rest did ok when they arrived, but some things were very difficult to figure out. Needless to say, we all knew what the other was talking about. Although I know you won't be spending a year, just know that the more you speak to you SO in English, the better you will get. My students speak almost perfect English by Christmas. Granted, they are living in the US and speaking the language daily, but you will get better as you practice as well. And remember, there are PLENTY of Americans who can barely string a sentence together. I often wonder if they actually learned English!?!

Oh, and my last student was from Frankfurt. I had a little trouble in the beginning, but we made it work and he now speaks fluent English!

[noa]

English isn't my mothers tongue as well, and I had the same fears. It was extremely hard for me to even talk with him on the phone and Skype at the beginning, because even if it's not his mothers tongue as well - he studies in english therefore his is better.
If your only fear is how it's gonna be when you're together - everythings fine. You're doing everything you can. Read, watch movies and television and talk as much as you can. Studying a new language and making it apart of you is a long process and takes time...

Most importantly - talk it out with him. I found out about myself that talking about my fears makes them, well, less frightening

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I think you'll be okay. Remember, in person, silences can be more comfortable than on Skype, because you can just snuggle. Cuddling quietly can be so nice and relaxing.

As for English, I think reading books and watching movies (and tv shows) is your best bet, especially for picking up the idioms and slang/colloquial stuff. You could also check out lists of common idioms? (https://www.idiomconnection.com/mostfrequent.html) or look up phrases when you come across them and they seem weird.

Or feel free to ask us, there are quite a few fluent English speakers here. And I have a degree in it.

One thing as far as reading books, if you can find some, I'd suggest reading ones that you're already pretty familiar with, to start off. As in, a book that you know in German but that was originally in English. That way you're not struggling to understand plot quite as much, and can focus more on the words and structure itself. Harry Potter is great for this sort of stuff, if you know that book a little bit. Well written, and at this point most people know the basics.

Your written English seems pretty good, though, so I think you'll be okay. One thing to remember too is that while English can be a bit of a complicated language, it's pretty flexible/fluid, so there are a lot of things you can "mess up" and people will still know exactly what you mean. A lot of times people won't think twice about the mistake. Where the French get a reputation for being French-language purists, us Americans are English-language butchers. Think of us as the anti-French. :P
(Anti here meaning opposite, not against!)

You mentioned tenses specifically, which tenses do you think you mix up? Are you referring to past/present/future and making the verbs correct?

Indeed, WE Americans do butcher the English language... Just a bit of teasing there, I make my share of mistakes, for sure.