Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Visting My SO for christmas, Family doesnt agree?

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Visting My SO for christmas, Family doesnt agree?

    So for those of you who have responded to my previous post on moving to CR, I have decided against moving. However, My bf and I have decided that we want to spend Christmas and New Years together as a family. For one because I didn't spend last year with him, and for two it is the longest break i will have between my classes. I will be there for 27 days. Now, my family is not very supportive of this, and they are even more against it because I want to bring our 1 year old daughter with me. I think that it will be great to have the family together and for daddy to finally meet his baby girl for the first time. BUT, my family is against it and it makes it hard for me to be completely sure in my decision. I know that my bf would never hurt me or our daughter, however, my family, have never met him and are afraid that when i go there something terrible could happen. For instance, they kidnap the baby or hurt me to keep her there. Now I never had these thoughts in my mind, and my family tells me that he is only with me because of our daughter. My bf is not perfect and he does do things that are a bit selfish, and he can treat me mean sometimes, but we always talk it out, and for the most part move forward. He is super happy about being able to be together as a family and to finally meet his daughter, and I really want to go. So I guess my question is, what to do about my family. It makes it very hard on me, and while i do not think he would or his family would do anything like what they say, they keep bring it up and saying no one ever thinks that is going to happen until it does...What is the right choice here? Do I go and be a family with my bf who btw bought my plane ticket already, or stay because my family? I know they are worried, I just dont think that my bf would ever harm me, or our daughter. Thank you
    Tags: christmas, confused on what to do, family not supportive, help!, vacation
    #2
    Family will be always worried about everything when it comes to daughters/sons. I don't know your bf and your bf's family but I don't think they will kidnap your daughter or something like that Did you meet them? Have you had the possibility to know them as people to be able to think about what they might do with this situation? If yes, then I'd tell you to spend your time with your bf and your daughter all together and have a great time. Your parents can't keep you with them with chains and you are free to make your own decisions for your own happiness.

    What about going there with your family? So they can meet him and his family and relax a little? Maybe not for all the 27 days..
    But I guess it would be a problematic choice..

    Comment

      #3
      If you feel confident in your SO's intentions, then it's your choice to go on the trip. Remember your daughter needs her own passport, do this first. The US passport system is down right now (software issues) and it might take a while to get that set. Also, at a year old, you'll have to check if the airline is okay with her sitting on your lap, unless he booked a ticket for her, as well. For your family's piece of mind, have a trusted member of the family keep a lawyer's contact information "in case anything were to go wrong".

      Also, remember that at your daughter's age, having never met your SO, she might not be keen on him at first, or at all. Make sure he's prepared to deal with that possibility. In both your and your SO's eyes she is his baby girl but in her eyes, she has mommy and her (mommy's) family, daddy is a talking head on a screen/in the phone and not a tangible person that secures her safety.
      When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far,
      no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart.

      Comment

        #4
        Originally posted by Cristiana View Post
        Family will be always worried about everything when it comes to daughters/sons. I don't know your bf and your bf's family but I don't think they will kidnap your daughter or something like that Did you meet them? Have you had the possibility to know them as people to be able to think about what they might do with this situation? If yes, then I'd tell you to spend your time with your bf and your daughter all together and have a great time. Your parents can't keep you with them with chains and you are free to make your own decisions for your own happiness.

        What about going there with your family? So they can meet him and his family and relax a little? Maybe not for all the 27 days..
        But I guess it would be a problematic choice..


        I have met his family several times and they seem to really like me. I get along with his mom and sisters really well. Even though we are just BF/GF they call me daughter-in-law and sister-in-law. I know the leaving part is going to be hard and this will be the first time anyone on his side including him has met her. Im so confused because my parents are scaring me, even though it is something i never thought about before they brought it up.

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by conejita_hada View Post
          If you feel confident in your SO's intentions, then it's your choice to go on the trip. Remember your daughter needs her own passport, do this first. The US passport system is down right now (software issues) and it might take a while to get that set. Also, at a year old, you'll have to check if the airline is okay with her sitting on your lap, unless he booked a ticket for her, as well. For your family's piece of mind, have a trusted member of the family keep a lawyer's contact information "in case anything were to go wrong".

          Also, remember that at your daughter's age, having never met your SO, she might not be keen on him at first, or at all. Make sure he's prepared to deal with that possibility. In both your and your SO's eyes she is his baby girl but in her eyes, she has mommy and her (mommy's) family, daddy is a talking head on a screen/in the phone and not a tangible person that secures her safety.
          I am planning to apply for her passport soon so hopefully it will arrive before December. The ticket is for me and her to sit on my lap because she is under two, they just charged like 10% of the original ticket plus taxes. I do not have a lawyer, is it really necessary to get one? We have talked about the possibility of her not understanding he is daddy right away, and he understands, so we have made plans to stay in a hotel for the first few days to get her used to him before she is surrounded by the family. I told him that it could take her some time to get used to, but we will be there for practically a month so im sure in time she will be ok

          Comment

            #6
            A lawyer isn't necessary but I was saying it more as providing information to your family of a reputable lawyer/agency so that they have a number to call if some of their fears actually happen. If you're secure in thinking that their fears aren't going to happen, then it's just a form of giving your family information that they can use if need be, just like the usual precaution of giving them copies of your and your daughter's passports, credit cards, etc. in case anything is lost or stolen. A number for a lawyer might help them feel better, since they're opposed to the trip.
            When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far,
            no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart.

            Comment

              #7
              If you trust him, go. Do preperations like for a normal trip.
              I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
              - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



              "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

              Comment

                #8
                Ok, thank you all I have made plans to go already, I just havent told them I actually have the ticket yet. I know they will be super unhappy

                Comment

                Previous template Next
                Working...
                X