He just left me.
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As in forever? Or he left your house?Comment
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Wow, really? I'm sorry, I know you're probably hurting a lot right now. =(Originally posted by AsparagusLady View Post"We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."Comment
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Did he give a reason to him leaving you? That's really harsh to just drop you just because you'd like a text or two more to let you know things are okay, kind of a jerk move by him
I hope you are okay! x
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Ladies and Gents AsparagusLady is very far from OK.
My gut feeling was completely right.
He has freaked out because of the distance. He says he just can't deal with the distance, hates seeing me so infrequently and the uncertainty of not knowing where he will be / what he will be doing and doesn't want to miss opportunities (round the world sailing contracts ETC) or leave me sat waiting for him, hardly seeing to him and not even knowing when I'll get to speak to him.
Even used the quote about having to let someone you love go for the sake of their happiness.
I know this is killing him as much as it is me. He even f*cking apologised for taking the cowards way out.
I don't even know if hes right or not.Comment
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Some people can handle an LDR and others can't. I'm really gutted for you, and he should have told you how he felt about the distance way earlier if he wasn't able to deal with the distance rather than let something like communication blow up to the point it's come to this. Hopefully, fingers crossed for you, he'll either come around to the idea and realise it was a mistake letting you go - just know that you are strong enough to get through this pain. If you need to talk, we are here <3Originally posted by AsparagusLady View PostComment
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Aw jesus, that's so disheartening to read Very sorry to hear this, AsparagusLady. You sound like a very clever and good person, and I'm sorry this is happening to you.
I, too, wonder why it took your guy a year to realize that the distance isn't for him. Of course his job is stressful, but if he was willing to make it work before, what changed his mind? Regardless, it is true that LDRs simply aren't for everyone, as much as that hurts. I just really hope that either he finds the courage and strength to give your relationship another shot or that you can move on to greener pastures. All the best to you.
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It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than riches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together we'll cross the riverComment
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Possibly he was trying despite having difficulty with the distance and really just didn't want to hurt you more in the future. Distance is very hard to deal with. Granted, that doesn't change the pain of right now. All the best.When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far,
no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart.
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Its been a year and a half since we first got together. We've been back and forward visiting and staying together in various places ever since but always on a 'lets see what happens' basis, because we were always hesitant to get together properly because of the distance and the fact he is at sea for so long. We only made it official and exclusive two months ago, and finally admitted to each other how we really felt. We'd both known we loved one another for quite some time. I was too scared to open up and he was too scared of the distance. He was always scared of the distance. But since we made it official he hasn't said a word about how he was coping with it. I had no idea he was struggling this much.
Now hes backing out because the distance hurts too much for him and he doesn't want that for either of us. Hes trying to do the honourable thing and save us both from years of months apart. I just wish he'd talked to me. I feel as though he has hardly given us a chance to try and make this work. We both knew it was never going to be easy.
I honestly don't know if hes making the right decision. I hate the distance. I find it so hard to be left on the quayside waiting for him all the time. But I believed it was worth it for the time we did have together. Now I'm completely torn between just letting him go and trying to convince him to give us a chance to make this work. I really don't know what to do. And I hate to think that he is dealing with this on his own. I'm almost certain he won't have told anyone.Comment
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LDRs are definitely tough to cope with, and nobody should try to face that alone. Just like with any other stressful, tough situation in life, it's so vitally important to have a good support network made of friends and loved ones that you can confide in, and if necessary, a therapist to deal with deeper issues.
Is he usually the type to bottle his issues up instead of talking them out or dealing with them properly? If this is his general MO, you should maybe try one last talk with him and confront him about that. Tell him that it was worth it to you, and that he is worth it to you, but that it can only be managable with support and good coping mechanisms for the tough times. Maybe he's willing to learn to deal with his emotions better.
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It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than riches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together we'll cross the riverComment
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Yes, he will bottle. Not always. But he clearly has on this.
The thought of one last talk hurts like hell. I still love him. And I know he feels the same.
I've asked him to get in touch so we can talk and deal with this together. If it really has to be this way I wish we could at least talk to each other. I really hope he actually replies to me and doesn't just freeze me out on this.
So many unanswered questions and so far from ready to just say goodbye to him. After a year and a half and so many countries and so many memories can it seriously all just boil down to a few paragraphs in an email and thats just...it?Comment
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I'm sorry to hear that he left you! :[ *big hugs*Comment
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Thank you for putting this up. I'm having a similar problem..
but I have had to bring it up 3 times now.. An yea I totally understand the whole not wanting to nag.Comment
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