Need a shoulder to cry on...

[Alma]

Hey there,

so, I am not really sure if this is the right place to post this but I just go ahead and say what's on my mind.

Okay, I am living with my best friend and her family (due to private problems), but this is just for short...well I hope so. I am desperately looking for my own appartment or at least a room in a shared appartment, but it's soo difficult to find something. Thing is, I have so many things going on in my life right now and I feel like breaking down.
Luckily, I have my own room here but not for long anymore because my friends sister needs this room because she is allergic to their cat. Means I'll have to share a room with my friend. And that means, I won't be able to have some time alone with my SO. AHHHHH. I don't know what to do.

All I want is a place where I can live (without bf and family) and where I can focus on my future...a place where I can talk to my SO and have some time we really need since we are LD.

I know this post is super confusing and might not make sense at all, but I am so desperate and I don't want to bother my SO with this.

I am not really looking for answers for my problem because I know there isn't really an answer. I just need someone who can assure me that everything will be okay.

Sometimes life can be really unfair

[differentcountries]

Hi, I don't think your post is confusing at all. You are 26, you are used to having your personal space and now you can't have that.

It is not really comparable, but for some time when I lived at home at 18-20 (having lived outside of home for school, moved back, no bedrooms left so I had to share with my sister) I really struggled with privacy. The thing I did was, I spent a LOT of time in the bathroom, just to have some space to myself. I would lock the door and just be there by myself until someone needed to take a shower. I also made arrangments with my sister; OK, now I will have the room to myself for 3 hours and so on, we often were not there at the same time and if she had agreed to stay in the living room I locked the door. Perhaps you could try some of that, or perhaps sometimes you could visit internet cafees or go somewhere outside where there is wifi (I have skyped with SO from public parks, on the light rail and so on) to get a change of scenery. Maybe once in while you could rent a room for the night too, just to talk to him or to have him there if he visits.

[80anthea]

I don't really understand why you don't want to tell your SO this? I think it would probably help, otherwise he might confused when you can't talk to him as much as usual.

[Alma]

thank you for your reply!
Well I don't mind being with her together in one room. It's just because my SO and I have a time difference from now 2 hours (he is 2 hours ahead). But when he is back in the US then I'll be 6 hours ahead. Means the only time we can skype is most between 0-2 am. And we also want to have some "skype intimacy" which is not possible...well he could but I can't. lol expect sending pictures and texting what I want

But yes, my life sucks right now...my SO is the only thing that keeps me alive...argh

[Alma]

another thing is, that my friend doesn't want me to skype with my SO late at night while we are in the same room. Kind of understand it but yea

I wish I had enough money that would make everything much easier...

[differentcountries]

It is reasonable to want to be able to sleep with no lights/sounds in the bedroom. Perhaps you can Skype from another room?

As I rule, I Skype with SO in the living room. Sometimes I Skype with SO from the bathroom to get more privacy (since I share bedroom with my husband). We have wifi in the bathroom too, and the lighting is the best in the flat, so it is actually kind of ideal for LD intimacy.

Of course you talk to SO about your room issue, he is going to notice that your habits shifts anyway, so it is better for him to be prepared for the change. Perhaps he has some ideas, too, you don't know until you ask him

[Alma]

yes, thats true. I have to tell him about it anyway....
The bathroom would be the only room I could use during that time..
I am so desperate, I just hope that I'll find an appartman as soon as possible...I want to plan my future and not waste my time with worrying about when we can skype or whatnot...this situation sucks and really makes me sick worst feeling ever...

[snow]

If you can't change your situation, you gotta make the best out of it.

I am sharing my room with my twin sister. I sleep in her bed and basically it is her room, but she let's me stay here and I am extremely grateful for it. We layed down some rules and we both abide to it.
She knows my man lives in America and is 6 hours behind in time, so she knows I will stay up late and all she asks for is that I take one side of my headphones off my ear, so I am not as loud (noise cancelling headsets would do that for you). When I want to Skype with my camera on, I let her know so she doesn't walk through it. If my man and I want to be intimate, I go to the bathroom with my netbook and that is just something I had to accept.