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What to do with reminders of the relationship?

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    What to do with reminders of the relationship?

    As you may know, my 3 years relationship ended two days ago. I am quite honestly crushed and all the reminders - pictures, gifts I got from him, things I brought from Denmark - donīt really help me. What do one do with all this stuff? Any ideas?

    #2
    It's such a personal decision. I kept a few things from my failed marriage. Pictures and cards really. I can't throw those away. Well, the pictures are digital. But any way. Those are things I will keep forever. But some people feel better if they do a purge of everything.

    Could you store your things somewhere else for now? Then mayb you could come back to them when you have a clearer head and the pain isn't so fresh. Then you can decide what to do with them.

    Sorry you're going through this x



    Met online: 1/30/11
    Met in person: 5/30/12
    Second visit: 9/12/12
    Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

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      #3
      Originally posted by Dezface View Post
      Could you store your things somewhere else for now? Then mayb you could come back to them when you have a clearer head and the pain isn't so fresh. Then you can decide what to do with them.
      Yeah, this sounds like a good idea. I donīt really know why am I trying to solve everything right now. What to do with all the stuff and what to do with my life .... It is like I canīt allow myself too much time to think about it being over. It is so hard. But last night when I told everything to my mum and I told her everything that happened in last three years and she didnīt know about and I saw the horror in her eyes, I think I felt for the first time since the break-up that I did the right thing.

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        #4
        You did do the right thing, hun. I agree with Dez. Just throw everything in a box, and shove it in a closet, or somewhere, for now. Someday you'll be OK to go through it properly, and you'll feel differently about some things, like mementos of Denmark. Some of it will be nice to keep, and some you'll toss, but don't worry about any of it for today. I think you're brave, and I hope you feel better soon.
        Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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          #5
          I agree with what the lovely ladies said. Store everything somewhere. At your parents' house maybe?

          Be strong
          I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me - Pink Floyd

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            #6
            Yeah, I wouldn't toss everything just yet. You might end up regretting it later. I'd hold off and THEN decide.

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              #7
              Originally posted by Moon View Post
              You did do the right thing, hun. I agree with Dez. Just throw everything in a box, and shove it in a closet, or somewhere, for now. Someday you'll be OK to go through it properly, and you'll feel differently about some things, like mementos of Denmark. Some of it will be nice to keep, and some you'll toss, but don't worry about any of it for today. I think you're brave, and I hope you feel better soon.
              Couldn't have said it any better - Thanks, Moon. Take good care of yourself, Jana, you deserve it.

              ~
              It'll take a lot more than words and guns
              A whole lot more than riches and muscle
              The hands of the many must join as one
              And together we'll cross the river

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                #8
                What I kept from my ex: pictures, letters and some everyday things because we had bought lots for the house. I gave or threw away stuff that for some reason reminded me of her in painful ways, like heart picture frames, some figurines, clothes and jewlery. I probably will throw out more when I move houses and clean up my attic. Like all the others said, dont decide upon everything right now. Deal with emotions now and the practicality of it all later best of luck
                I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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                  #9
                  Thanks so much for your support. I changed the pictures with him that I had in my room for different ones and I hid the gifts I got from him. I told my family and friends and got tons of support which I am so grateful for. On the other hand, I feel like the real saddness is coming to me, I cry a lot and the nights are terribly lonely. I have the defence of my thesis at the end of this week so I have to focus on preparations to that and keep myself busy.

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                    #10
                    I am really sorry for your pain and what you are going through.
                    Good luck with the defence on Friday! Is it masters thesis or a doctors dissertation? (I have not heard of defending a thesis before only a dissertation, sorry if my question sounds silly. I think you are a bit young to be a phd though, although I know it is posible at 25)
                    Take care!

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by Ahava View Post
                      I am really sorry for your pain and what you are going through.
                      Good luck with the defence on Friday! Is it masters thesis or a doctors dissertation? (I have not heard of defending a thesis before only a dissertation, sorry if my question sounds silly. I think you are a bit young to be a phd though, although I know it is posible at 25)
                      Take care!
                      Thanks Ahava It is master thesis, but as a matter of fact you must defend bachelor thesis as well in Czech. I got pretty good reviews so with bit of prep during this week I should be ok. It is kinda crazy that on Friday I may start to write the title to my name.

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                        #12
                        Good luck with it!
                        I hope prepping gets your thoughts away from the break up.
                        From your pic I can see you are a very beautiful woman so I don't think you will be able to stay single for too long.
                        Take care!

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