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    #1

    feeling empty :(

    Okay so I've been in a long distance relationship for about 4 years now and it never usually bothered me this much..but lately, I've been feeling so lonely and empty. I'm not asking for any advice, I just want to rant about how shitty I've been feeling for about 3 months now. I miss him terribly..and though I talk to him everyday, it's different. I just need to see him again but that idea is just impossible at the moment. No matter how many times I hang out with my friends to just forget about this feeling, I can't. Why do I have to be the one stuck in a long distance relationship? Why do I have to fall in love with a guy 8,000 miles away from me? It's so unfair
    Tags: emptiness, huhu, lonely, lonely and missing my so
    #2
    While I haven't been in an LDR that long, I can understand some of the feelings that you are. I think most of us who have been in LDR's understand that feeling of loneliness at some point or another. For me, it hit hardest around the 5 month mark of not seeing each other. You have made it 4 years in an LDR. That's incredible! I hope that I have your strength to make it that long. I know it's hard right now, but hang in there. If he's worth it (and i'm assuming he is since you've been in an LDR so long), this too shall pass. You will get through it. I know hearing this from a stranger really doesn't help, but just know that we're all rooting for you and that you are strong enough to get through this hurdle too.

    Comment

      #3
      I also agree, you've been so strong for 4 years don't let it all go to waste!

      Look at all the others who have had their LDR come together! It is possible and it will work out!

      Don't give up! I'd love to have you give me a pep talk in the future and encourage me to keep at it

      4 years is a long time and I can assure you, you have something special

      Comment

        #4
        For some reason, I have been feeling the distance thing a lot lately, too. I have only done it for 14 months, but we are looking at at least a couple if years more apart, because he needs to earn money after his school ends and then there is military that he dreads but has to do.

        There is no easy advice but what helps me is thinking I am not unlucky for having a long distance relationship, I am lucky for meeting a wonderful man. Also, letter writing, gift giving,visits and future planning helps.

        I am also sometimes a sucker for, not positive thinking (although it has got its perks), but kind of the opposite -embracing the things that are bad and becoming friends with it. The pain of missing can become your companion and not your enimy, not by going away, but by you not feeling empty by it. I struggled hard in an earlier relationship where the books of Pema Chodron served me well in this aspect, especially "When things fall apart ". Her writing about living with uncertainty really speak to me.
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

        Comment

          #5
          ((HUGS)) Sometimes you just can't shake that feeling of loneliness and sadness and you just have to give in TEMPORARILY. Sometimes I'm out and I can't fully enjoy myself because I would love my SO to be there with me. It's even worse when I try to text him and he doesn't respond for hours because he's at work and nowhere near his phone.

          As the others have said, you have done 4 years already and that is a great achievement! Hang in there! You know the reasons why you chose to be in a LDR...focus on those reasons. Hopefully you guys have a plan for closing the distance .

          Hang in there
          Last edited by Petals; November 22, 2014, 05:09 PM.
          Met Online : July 2013
          Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
          2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
          3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
          Proposal : December 2014
          Closed distance : February 2015
          Married : April 5, 2015


          Comment

            #6
            You are not alone! Everyone feels like that sometimes. All you need to do is think of how much you guys have gone through together already and how much you love you SO and you'll get through it!

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by MissingMyDutchLove View Post
              While I haven't been in an LDR that long, I can understand some of the feelings that you are. I think most of us who have been in LDR's understand that feeling of loneliness at some point or another. For me, it hit hardest around the 5 month mark of not seeing each other. You have made it 4 years in an LDR. That's incredible! I hope that I have your strength to make it that long. I know it's hard right now, but hang in there. If he's worth it (and i'm assuming he is since you've been in an LDR so long), this too shall pass. You will get through it. I know hearing this from a stranger really doesn't help, but just know that we're all rooting for you and that you are strong enough to get through this hurdle too.
              It does help. Hopefully things will work out soon and we can finally be together. Thank you!

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                For some reason, I have been feeling the distance thing a lot lately, too. I have only done it for 14 months, but we are looking at at least a couple if years more apart, because he needs to earn money after his school ends and then there is military that he dreads but has to do.

                There is no easy advice but what helps me is thinking I am not unlucky for having a long distance relationship, I am lucky for meeting a wonderful man. Also, letter writing, gift giving,visits and future planning helps.

                I am also sometimes a sucker for, not positive thinking (although it has got its perks), but kind of the opposite -embracing the things that are bad and becoming friends with it. The pain of missing can become your companion and not your enimy, not by going away, but by you not feeling empty by it. I struggled hard in an earlier relationship where the books of Pema Chodron served me well in this aspect, especially "When things fall apart ". Her writing about living with uncertainty really speak to me.
                My boyfriend and I have to deal with at least one more year apart, as he will be graduating this December and going to Switzerland to finish his training and earn some money as well. It sucks to think about next year, and how I won't have to see him for another 12 months. I feel incredibly lucky to have found myself an amazing guy, but why are there always setbacks on great things? Anyway I will check out these books and hopefully they will help. Thank you!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Petals View Post
                  ((HUGS)) Sometimes you just can't shake that feeling of loneliness and sadness and you just have to give in TEMPORARILY. Sometimes I'm out and I can't fully enjoy myself because I would love my SO to be there with me. It's even worse when I try to text him and he doesn't respond for hours because he's at work and nowhere near his phone.

                  As the others have said, you have done 4 years already and that is a great achievement! Hang in there! You know the reasons why you chose to be in a LDR...focus on those reasons. Hopefully you guys have a plan for closing the distance .

                  Hang in there
                  YES. Everytime I go out, I always think about how this would be even more amazing if my boyfriend was here. Actually in everything I do, I always think that way. I can't wait to hang out with him 24/7 until he gets tired of seeing my face. lol

                  Thank you!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by whatruckus View Post
                    You are not alone! Everyone feels like that sometimes. All you need to do is think of how much you guys have gone through together already and how much you love you SO and you'll get through it!
                    Will do. Thank you!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by 0897klpq View Post
                      I also agree, you've been so strong for 4 years don't let it all go to waste!

                      Look at all the others who have had their LDR come together! It is possible and it will work out!

                      Don't give up! I'd love to have you give me a pep talk in the future and encourage me to keep at it

                      4 years is a long time and I can assure you, you have something special
                      Thank you! Hopefully it will work out soon, I want/need to close this distance already. Take care

                      Comment

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