Work hours

[differentcountries]

I have dealt with my SOs long work hours for a year. When I met him, he used to work from 10-22, or 9-21. All day, everyday. Now, this off-season he works from 12 or 14 until midnight or more, "until the last guests go home". We have one hour time difference, which means his 1 past midnight is my midnight. I usually work days, from 9-15 or 16, meaning that with his new shift, I work almost opposite hours of him.

With his new rythm, we sometimes have more time in the mornings,especially on my weekends (he has no "weekends", he works all week around), but usually it means that we hardly ever get to Skype anymore. Right now, I am able to at least some days a week Skype until the wee morning if I want to, but there is no way I can do that when I start work after the holidays. He might change work later on, but right now he is not able to change his job or shift. I am afraid our Skyping time will be very reduced.

How do you deal with your SOs work hours?

[R&R]

Just how you said it - you deal with it. My SO owns his own business and he is usually out the door by 6:30am and not home until 10:00pm or later, 7 days a week. I'm lucky if we Skype once or twice a month. We survive on text messages and phone calls. It's just how it has to be for now.

Currently, I'm dealing with the fact he should have been here on December 24th and he's still, at this exact moment, finishing up a job. Christmas didn't happen again this year for us. New Years is probably also out of the question. And what do I do about it? I deal with it knowing it's not forever and hope with all his work now, we'll be able to close this distance next year.

[differentcountries]

Sadly, for us him working hard doesn't have the same ammount of meaning, it is not an end towards closing the distance. But I see your point. We have been lucky so far in many respects. I guess I will just have to get used to us keeping in touch differently. I might be able to have some quick calls with him during work hours, I will look into that

[farandaway]

I must say I've been extremely lucky because with our time difference (7hours) he can arrange lunch time to be with me after I've put kids to bed. It's not every day and it's not very long always but it's what I look forward to so much.
Of course now with his father's sickness and divorce I will need to stay on the back burner at times. But it's so good to read about you guys. How you just deal with it. I know it must be hard but it will pass. We've had rough times because I have not always understood how hard it is for him. I have pouted and been unhappy. Instead I need to learn to be happy for the times we do find together. Thanks Dc by the way for your notes lately. I'm still with my SO until new years and we've talked a lot. I'm learning to appreciate him in a whole new way. He does take time for me when he can and he's the most wonderful thing. This is such a challenge in an LDR and I know I'm not alone.

[Mims27]

Oh work hours...lol
I work 6:30am to 2:30pm Monday to Friday. She works 4:00am to 12:30pm. She works kinda far from her place too so she get's up very early and goes to bed early. Our hours together are not very long and she's always tired. I wont lie, I really don't like her hours but there's not much I can do about it. I shut my mouth and deal with it. I'm just "alone" more than I would like to be. Life of being engaged to a Baker...lol

[differentcountries]

I must say I've been extremely lucky because with our time difference (7hours) he can arrange lunch time to be with me after I've put kids to bed. It's not every day and it's not very long always but it's what I look forward to so much.
Of course now with his father's sickness and divorce I will need to stay on the back burner at times. But it's so good to read about you guys. How you just deal with it. I know it must be hard but it will pass. We've had rough times because I have not always understood how hard it is for him. I have pouted and been unhappy. Instead I need to learn to be happy for the times we do find together. Thanks Dc by the way for your notes lately. I'm still with my SO until new years and we've talked a lot. I'm learning to appreciate him in a whole new way. He does take time for me when he can and he's the most wonderful thing. This is such a challenge in an LDR and I know I'm not alone.

You welcome And thank you too. It is so very important to be grateful for what we have.

I know too that SO does all he can. We are in contact everyday, and he tells me about all that happens with him. He has already started talking about possably changing workplace from the restaurant to a "breakfast cafe" (with work hours a little more similar to mine), although that can't happen right now. We have a Norwegian visa application running where we made a point of him being attached to his current work, which means he needs to put up with working there until the process is done.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful to all you out there who don't have the luxury of time that I have had and still will have with SO. Adjusting to new realities is something we all must do, and I try to appreciate how fortunate we are despite the distance. I do see a light in the tunnell, which is we will rent an new flat from April-November (which is big enough for my husband to visit more) and hopefully after that season, SO can come to Norway (my city or a city close by) for work or studies. As it is now, we will have to try out new ways of doing things. He has developed a small habit of calling me after work to say goodnight, which I think is awfully cute

[differentcountries]

Oh work hours...lol
I work 6:30am to 2:30pm Monday to Friday. She works 4:00am to 12:30pm. She works kinda far from her place too so she get's up very early and goes to bed early. Our hours together are not very long and she's always tired. I wont lie, I really don't like her hours but there's not much I can do about it. I shut my mouth and deal with it. I'm just "alone" more than I would like to be. Life of being engaged to a Baker...lol

Halfway night shifts for her sounds stressful, especially with long commuting and you having a daytime job. But she will move to you after you marry, right? Do you see her (and you) as having the same type of shifts after you closed the distance?

I assume that after/if we close the distance, we might have some opposite shifts. Whatever job my boyfriend will have in the future, it will be in the service industry and most likely a great deal of evening work, but I figure that is doable is he gets shorter shifts and some free days in between. My husband works day/evening shifts at the hospital; he works evenings (14-22) 1-3 times a week (Mon-Fri) plus one weekend a month. It is a great full time job for his first one right out of school, but first chance we have, we will try to make him switch to only dayshift.

[snow]

We've been really lucky that our hours matched up perfectly. He works 7-12 (1 - 6 my time) and I worked 2 - 4 but I had a one and a half hour commute, so we basically left the home at the same time and came home only minutes from each other.

[Mims27]

Halfway night shifts for her sounds stressful, especially with long commuting and you having a daytime job. But she will move to you after you marry, right? Do you see her (and you) as having the same type of shifts after you closed the distance?

Yeah that's right she will move here after we marry. And yes the shifts will probably be about the same here but the commute wont be. I live in the city so there's bakeries all over and everything is close. lol Thank goodness!

[p_b82]

the 5hr timeshift and her having kids makes it more difficult than just the work hours for me and the GF, I work 8-15:30 (supposedly, it is often a lot longer hours than that) or 9-16:30 GMT, she works 8-16:30EST but has an hour's drive each end, and can't be late to work so has to leave earlier just in case.

I am lucky that I work from home, so while she is waking up, we chat (type) before she leaves for work, but that is about it, apart from a few messages here and there during both our days.

Once a week we have a call - midnight my time, as she has her kids to look after and so, can only 'hide' once a week after supper - it is not ideal, but it is what it is, and we both knew that it was not going to be 'easy' when we decided to make a thing of it.

[Unconditional]

Well right now my SO is switching positions at a job, which he'll have third shift. I don't know how this will affect our communication except that there will be less of it most likely. However, I think I can handle it, he always makes a point of making time for me, so it shouldn't be a huge deal for us.
Since he's between positions our conversation depends on me and when I'm available, which is fine for both of us, I keep my phone on me while I work and text during break and lunch. We've even called during lunch before, it was cute- made my day. I know he wants to surprise me with calls and stuff, but he's worried he'll do it while I'm working and somehow get me in trouble, which is understandable. As of now we have.lota of communication, it's really nice. I'm not too worried about this third shift job he'll have at all. ^-^

I know we are really lucky right now though as we have lots of communication and only a two hour time difference, very lucky.

[rufuz]

We have a time difference of 7 hours. So when I leave the house for work at like 7:40 am it's after midnight there, so most times he is already sleeping when I get up. He only goes to university which is quite good for us because when I am home from work at 6 pm he is either still in university where he is able to text or at home or at the gym. We haven't skyped yet so I can't say anything about if this would work with our shifts, but texting works great. I think if we would skype we would have mostly time for it on the weekends too because we both stay at home then. The only bad but good thing at the same time is that he wants to start working after our visit in february so that he can also save money for going to germany to see me. Don't know what this could mean for our texting time. But I guess this also wouldn't affect us that much as I think he would start working at the time I usually go to bed.

[80anthea]

I leave my house at 7am and get back in about 6pm uk time. In uk time he leaves his house at about 1pm and gets back at midnight so we have very little time to talk. I work mon-fri and he does tues-sat so the only real day we have time is Sunday. We make the most of the moments we do have, he has to commute on a ferry as part of his journey to work so I try not to schedule any appointments for that half hour period so we chat then during the week. It is difficult and I always wish we had more time to talk.