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Will he ever come? (Previous post closed) sorry! :)x

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    Will he ever come? (Previous post closed) sorry! :)x

    Will he ever come?
    Hi guys! Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I've never been in an LDR before so everything is new to me. Around 6 months ago, I met a guy from the states online. We exchanged numbers, and spoke everyday. 6 months later we Skype every single day for 5 hours, text all the time, and have established that we're crazy for each other. I can honestly say that even without meeting him in the flesh, I've connected with his soul, on a level that I've never done with people on my doorstep. The "problem" is I'm in the UK...3500 miles away. To make matters worse, he is a sergeant in the military and cannot find leave to come and see me. He's waiting on a break from the army to fly out to see me. We send packages out to each other, he recently bought me converses and I'm in the process of sending him a package. I will wait for him because he's so special to me. But I'm scared of 1 thing. (I know it's hard to say and speak on behalf of someone else)...but based on those little details I mentioned...do you think that he will eventually come and see me? I'm afraid that he will grow frustrated and give up... I would go but I have commitments with university and work that I Have to stay in the UK. (I'm 20). I'd also like him to meet my family first, so that it would be easier for them to accept me moving to the states to do my masters degree to be with him.. I'm the eldest out of 2 daughters and theyve always been protective of me, I believe it would be easier if he came first if he could. Sorry this is so long !! I try and take each day as it comes..but as the time period grows longer, so does my anxiety x

    #2
    I fully undertand you're a bit anxious. I feel for you.

    Well. Yes, based on what you are writing, the possibility is there that he will eventually come and see you.

    I have to say that I sort of get your reasons why you would want him to see you first, but I don't get them at the same time.

    I get that you are commited with Uni and work, and he is commited with work (and militarypersonal can take commited to a whole new level, a level unknown to civilians, least the soldiers I know).
    So for both of you it's difficult to find the time to fly over. But eventually, if you have the Chance, you might want to consider flying there before he comes to see you.
    If you want to go do your masters in the States, then do it - but do it in the States mainly cause you want to do it in the States, not because you mainly want to be with him.
    Also, if your parents like him, it will be easier for them to let you go do your masters in the States. If they don't it won't. And that, in my eyes, doesn't have anything to do with who visits who first..
    Last edited by Nymeria; January 15, 2015, 01:35 AM.
    happiness can be found in the darkest of places, if only you remember to turn on the light

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      #3
      Hmm, your situation sounds similar to mine, albeit my SO is not in the army. I'm 21, from the UK as well, and studying a Geography degree at university. My SO is in the states as well, though he's almost 4000 miles away from me.

      It's quite possible that you may have to go there yourself, if he is unable to get to you, and you really want to meet soon. Which is understandable. Unfortunately, commitments keep us from doing the things we want all too often; you may find that, as much as you both want to be together, you may have to wait. If you can hang in there, it might be worth the wait. However, if like me you want to see your SO soonish, perhaps you could both find out when you will have time off and attempt to arrange a meeting during those sorts of times?

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        #4
        Hi, you are in a similar situation to me too, I'm two years in with my American soulmate but yet to meet. I can't go and see him first, he doesn't have the commitments I have (kids, 2 jobs etc) I'm also going through a divorce. It's just not possible. He knows other people here apart from me so he plans a visit and a kind of UK tour. Waiting is awful though, he was supposed to come over in 2013 but got very sick and has only just recovered enough to even start to think about it.

        I'm sure he will come over eventually, waiting sucks and having no date to focus on makes it even harder. One thing I've learned from LDR is great patience! Keep going with the care packages and video chat as much as you can. You will miss him badly and some days will be just dreadful but try to keep positive, he sounds like he will be worth the wait!

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          #5
          I get that you would want him to come to you first, but I wouldn't make it a problem if it turns out that's not possible.
          If you get the opportunity to meet up, it doesn't matter what place it is right?
          To me it sounds like he is really into you. You have seen each other on skype and you send each other packages. He knows, just as you, what he's getting into.
          I don't see why he would get frustrated (although, I don't know him ofcourse).
          He's busy all the time with his work right, so it will give him less time to even get frustrated about it. I think....

          If you both stay strong and talk to each other, then you stay connected.
          Maybe soon you can discuss what the possibilities would be to meet each other face to face.

          Maybe if you're very worried about your protective family, you could introduce each other on skype? It's not the perfect way obviously, but at least they can get an impression of him, if it turns out he's not going to be able to come to you first.
          Last edited by Jaac; January 15, 2015, 07:37 AM.

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