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LDR with ENFJ Taurus Man

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    #1

    LDR with ENFJ Taurus Man

    This Alice from Hong Kong, greetings, I really have problem dealing LDR with ENFJ Taurus man, just older than me two months, I am INFJ Cancer female, we are both just met online about 6 months already, I am pretty desperate and don't know how to deal with his progressive mind, and he said that I was kind not on a par by his side, he used to thought the relationship between man and woman like "A Team", at his point out that I am not along with.... Said I am used to be independently to do the things without noticing him. Just last week ago, I had switched my job another time but I told him after I made it. He said that its pretty unhfair to him, not not sharing for what I have doing like job switched. And obviously he mad about me that I didn't bond with him with any cases I have been doing. He said wanted to turn back to friendship than LDR... I really don't want to... And I need some advices and tell me how to do,... Because I have a big cloudy head... He just point at me with this and that, somehow I don't want to be comprised.... Should I say sorry for what I done, or saying something at the high-end classy way to let both at the safe state? Been cried from my heart since his messages to me. I really don't want to loose him for any case. Sorry for my broken English, but I really need some advices to figure out how to do.... Thank you in advance!

    P.S. I really don't want to use time gap as an excuse to blocking our basic communication!

    Alice
    Tags: bonding, unfair
    #2
    Sorry for what??? Living? Run. Run away. Run away fast. This guy is a dick.

    Sorry, probably not the best person to respond to this really, I was with a Taurean man for 21 years, can't believe I wasted so much of my life with the stubborn jerk. I'm not saying all Taurean men are the same, but they are STUBBORN.

    This guy is showing controlling behaviour already. This is a massive red flag for me. You deserve better, a team mate, a partner, not someone who tells you off for not filling him in with every detail of your life. Retain your independence and find someone better.

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      #3
      Taureans are VERY stubborn. I should know, I am one. We're.also big softies at heart. We simply want to protect what's ours. I dont believe his.downfalls are because he's a taurus, but because it's simply him.
      "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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        #4
        Originally posted by Unconditional View Post
        Taureans are VERY stubborn. I should know, I am one. We're.also big softies at heart. We simply want to protect what's ours. I dont believe his.downfalls are because he's a taurus, but because it's simply him.
        Agree with this. Sorry, didn't mean all Taurean men are the same. My ex husband was very loving, in fact his kindness to animals was what first attracted me to him. He was also very loving to our kids, he was just controlling, cold, and a liar to me....

        I still think you should get out if this while you can. You should never have to justify your every move, thought and decision to someone you barely know.

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          #5
          Originally posted by Unicorn26 View Post
          Agree with this. Sorry, didn't mean all Taurean men are the same. My ex husband was very loving, in fact his kindness to animals was what first attracted me to him. He was also very loving to our kids, he was just controlling, cold, and a liar to me....

          I still think you should get out if this while you can. You should never have to justify your every move, thought and decision to someone you barely know.
          I don't know, I kind of read it as, "I'd like you to keep me in the loop when big changes happen in your life." It seems as though he simply craves to be a part of her life. I might have missed some red flags, that you caught, but I didn't see anything possessive or manipulative about it..

          EDIT: I missed one key sentence. If he feels so little about this relationship that he wants to go back to being friends.. you deserve better than that. You deserve someone who will fight for your relationship.
          Last edited by Unconditional; January 16, 2015, 11:28 AM.
          "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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            #6
            6 months is too soon to demand knowing your work details. SO didn't start to include me in his work decition making until our aniversery.

            Him being extrovert to you introversion may explain why he feels left out when you are self-sufficient though, because that often seem odd to extroverts, who are more inclined to want to include everyone in their dection process (my boss is like that. I ignore half of what she says because I know she has no use for my replies at this point, she just needs a wall to bounce her balls at). If you are going to be together, you have to find a way to deal with your differences on the introversion-extroversion scale.
            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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              #7
              I read the title and was like "Whaaaaa..."

              Anyway, the only Taurean I properly knew was my ex best friend. She was a manipulative, lying, don't-give-a-rat's-ass woman who, after moving 300 miles away from me, couldn't be bothered to stay in touch because of the wrong crowd she started hanging out with. Her mother was even worse. Makes me glad I no longer know them, lol.

              OP... this guy sounds like a jerk sorry. A control freak in the making. The only real life relationship I had, the guy beat me up and made me feel like nothing and a nobody. He wanted total control over my actions and everything. Few weeks after I broke up with him, I heard he'd stalked and attempted to rape another girl. Is this the kind of guy you want in your life?

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                #8
                If he's okay with saying this easily that he wants to go back to friendship instead of LDR and doesn't take you seriously, you really need to reconsider this relationship! Don't let anyone walk all over you.

                ~
                It'll take a lot more than words and guns
                A whole lot more than riches and muscle
                The hands of the many must join as one
                And together we'll cross the river

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