The beginning of a relationship

[Andytft]

Hi everyone

So this is the first time I have ever been in a long distance relationship. We have been talking for half a year as friends, not every day of course but it was just a really awesome cool friendship we had. Recently we both confessed that we have grown to have feeling for each other. We have never met, we just happened to meet online, but we video chat and call at least once every two weeks but text everyday even if it is just a simple good morning and good night.. I forgot to mention I am from Florida and he is from China.


Since I have never been in a relationship that is so long distance. I don't know what I can do to, for lack of better words, not let our relationship die. We have to wait at least until summer for me to go visit him and then next winter for him to visit me. Any tips? I am honestly very clueless and hopeless in things like these, and he is to haha.

I guess a little more info on us is that He is 2 years older than me and studying to be an engineer, actually graduating this june. And I am studying for medicine currently a Biochemistry and Biology dual major. I don't know what other type of information I can give.

Thanks for reading this even if you don't post a reply haha.

[bubblehits]

First welcome There are a lots of people on here to give you advice and talk to you, reading through some of the other threads an give you an idea of what it's like.

To put things bluntly, LDR's suck and are really hard, every couples LDR is going to be different to the next one.

I think one of the best thing you can do is keep up that communication and put out an estimated date for a visit and get saving, looking at visas (because visas alone can sometimes take awhile). I think the video chatting is great (at least you know he isn't catfishing you), keep doing what you are doing, be random and send each other messages/pictures, you could organise 'dates' by planning to watch a film at the same time while talking, playing online games that sort of thing.

Just keep that communication going, that's one of the most important things in an LDR Good luck to you both on your studies btw

[Andytft]

Thank you

Haha he is actually the first person I have ever video chatted with that I met online. i didn't think about the possibility of cat fishing. Honestly it just started as a friendship with no thought of that haha.
I hope to one day be able to plan date plan dates, the movie one is not that bad of an idea

It will be his birthday soon, do you think it would be wise to send him something small. And when I say small I mean a tiny simple gift to surprise him? I am a college student so we are both broke haha it wouldn't be something that I think would impact my wallet much. But in your opinion is it a smart thing to do?

[merlinkitty]

If he's comfortable with giving his address I don't see why not I send my SO stuff occasionally. I tell him it's my way of touching him since he is so far.

When you read through the forum you'll notice most of the issues have to do with lack of communication and how to keep things lively. You may have already seen this, but communication in an LDR is much more important than a usual relationship, much because you lack seeing the physical cues someone would give you in person. My SO fussed at me once cause I'd be sitting here crying and sending smilies to him because I felt it was my "brave" face. All he's seeing is a smile. He had no clue I was over here leaking lol

Movie nights are a great idea, date nights if you can wing the time difference, little mementos, games you can play all help keep things alive when conversation becomes dull (and it will, trust us).

You have to learn to make activities and include them in your life in ways you wouldn't CD. And communication is a two way street. It's reasonable to expect it back, much as you would a CD boyfriend. Best wishes! And keep hanging out in the forum. You'll learn a lot listening to others go through the same stuff

[bubblehits]

Thank you

Haha he is actually the first person I have ever video chatted with that I met online. i didn't think about the possibility of cat fishing. Honestly it just started as a friendship with no thought of that haha.
I hope to one day be able to plan date plan dates, the movie one is not that bad of an idea

It will be his birthday soon, do you think it would be wise to send him something small. And when I say small I mean a tiny simple gift to surprise him? I am a college student so we are both broke haha it wouldn't be something that I think would impact my wallet much. But in your opinion is it a smart thing to do?

I think it's a good idea, it can be something simple, make a birthday card from scratch, sweets/chocolate. A lot of the time a simple, small handmade gift is the most appreciated. Go to your local post office and ask about the prices of sending packages internationally, it varies depending on the weight, and unfortunately it can get really expensive. On valentines last year my SO sent me a card, a US penny and a packet of kool aid (he said it was to give me a taste of the US :P)

[Honour]

The small things in life are the best, to be honest. So I doubt he would dislike a surprise like that. Welcome to the forums by the way, they're very active, and the members here are awesome. We each have a story to tell, so you are in no way alone. Hopefully you can take comfort in this fact.

[randomnerd]

You're on the right path now. Keep up communication. It's great that you do video chats. I was friends with my SO online before we became a couple and then we met in person 6 months after that but I know many on here have gone longer.

If you have his address, it would be sweet for you to send him a little gift of some sort. I remember the first time I sent my SO a letter he had a "wow, this is this first time I've touched something you've touched" moment.

[Andytft]

Thank you guys for your welcome and for your words of encouragement. We actually exchanged christmas cards so I do have his address and may just make him a small birthday card and send him some American coins because I know he always asks about them. I am scared because I don't know about LDR but I am happy to know that there is a community like this that has support .

Thank you all again

[MyHindiHeart]

Aw wow. This must feel really wonderful and scary for you! As a blogger, I know a few bloggers who married Chinese men! Please check out the websites and draw your inspiration from them. It is possible! I can't wait for you two to meet. ~

My Hong Kong Husband
Speaking of China