Last night was rough. SO has been away for a few days to a conference and he is trying hard to make his career work. He puts work before everything and works day and night. I know he has to be doing that for us to ever have a future. But I just can't handle it and not having plans. Then our talks become arguments about not being able to make plans and me not understanding that he has to work for that. It's so frustrating because I just miss him. He is working from home because it saves time comparing going to the office. I see him apartment in skype with all of our memories from my visit. He needs to work and start packing and moving towns. It's his day time and middle of work day when we talk and I can see that he gets restless and wants to continue and it not really concentrated on our discussions. It's my evening and I want to have a piece of him. We can't plan his trip here yet before he gets his business running. He spent one month with sick family and now our plans are a month behind. At least there is a possibility now that I'm selling my and ex's house soon and moving on at this end. SO visited me here once but it's not nice to him since my ex's junk is all over. He doesn't want me living here any more and I want out so bad, too. We're both slowly moving on but it's so slow. We have 3 years together and this year hopefully we have some solution to this. If we could just have dates for next time together it would be slightly easier. He is trying to contact his potential business contacts here and put together meetings while he is here. Last time he did the same and it's so stressful because he is tired from time change and then he has meetings and our time together is so precious and short. He was just tired all the time. He got into arguments and it was all because of fatigue and longing and frustration. Waiting for our future together is so hard. I want to have him along the way too and not to risk what we have because it's so tough getting there. I know he's rather have things different but that's what we have now. And in the background is the scare of what if his sick parents need him again soon and he has to skip his trip here. Some days I feel stronger but some days I am losing hope.
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I'm sorry you're going through this.
I know it's hard when you don't have set plans for a visit or closing the distance.
You've been together for a long time, I'm sure you will also manage this.
He's moving right now, I understand?
Maybe you have to be patient for a little bit more, until he's settled and had a bit more peace of mind.
You can stay angry/sad and wish for the circumstances to be different, but you can't change that.
The only thing you can change to make it easier is the way you look at things and the way you handle things.
I know being patient is difficult, but it will be worth it in the end.
Hang in there!
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