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Please help! It's my fault! How can I get my long distance boyfriend back?

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    #1

    Please help! It's my fault! How can I get my long distance boyfriend back?

    I was with him a few months, we were very happy and promised to each other that we won't give up.
    But last week was rough for me and him because I am about to finish my school and a lot of stuff going, I was very stressful. I got mad every time we got to skype and when he was not on time.

    A lot of stuff going in his family, too. So he avoided talking to me until last night, he said it's not gonna work anymore because he doesn't feel like talking everyday and I would be unhappy if he's not on skype. The fact is I am okay, that we can't talk everyday. I told him that we don't have to talk everyday if he has something else today.

    I know it's my fault that I try to see him everyday, I am now telling him that we could have some space but he only thinks it's not gonna work even I promise I will change and be better.

    I feel so small and sick since he told me it's not gonna work anymore. what should I do? I love him so much and I don't wanna lose him. He is my best boyfriend I ever had.
    He never cheated on me or do anything bad. But the problem is me. What should I do to make him give me a chance and believe that I will change and I will try to make it work?

    Thank you.
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    #2
    I'm sorry, but you cannot make someone give you a second chance. That is that. It's tough to hear, but best to move on now.
    "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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      #3
      Thank you so much, but we never had this issue before, this is our frist time talking about this and he decided to break up.
      Please help me.

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        #4
        Originally posted by cheyakup View Post
        Thank you so much, but we never had this issue before, this is our frist time talking about this and he decided to break up.
        Please help me.
        Chances are pretty good, this isn't the only reason he broke up with you. He could have been having doubts about things for a while and this was kind of the straw that broke the camels back.

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          #5
          You cannot make some stay just as you cannot make someone decide something is worth fighting for. He may have been thinking about this ending for some time.
          "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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            #6
            Originally posted by snow_girl View Post
            Chances are pretty good, this isn't the only reason he broke up with you. He could have been having doubts about things for a while and this was kind of the straw that broke the camels back.
            Agreed. I think communication is key and you can always try to see whats going on, but give it a few days. Let him and yourself calm down so you can think rationally about the situation.

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              #7
              Ohhh I know how you feel. To be honest i feel really angry when someone is mad at me and do not talk to me at the moment but keeping inside growing growing and just one "not so important thing" happens then they re using it as an excuse to break up with you. What i wanna say just talk, seriously whatever happens always talk. Communication always helps to solve problems easily. By not talking we cannot understand what is going on and just making scenes in our minds and believing them. Tell how you feel. If you feel guilty tell that you re a human being and humans make mistake too it is normal and say that you feel regretful and forgiveness will make you feel better.

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                #8
                Originally posted by cheyakup View Post

                I feel so small and sick since he told me it's not gonna work anymore.
                Damn, you give him a lot of power. Does the fact that he broke up with you define you? Seriously?

                At the end of the day, we can't force someone to stay who doesn't want to stay. We simply cannot. I read all the time on these threads that "so and so makes me feel... makes me want... makes me this or that." Why are we giving other people all of this power? WHY?

                People can only make us feel bad if we LET them make us feel bad. By the time that I feel bad because someone made me feel bad, I have already handed all of my power over to that person. I allowed them to define me. Why are we allowing other people to define us?

                One of my friends told me that a successful relationship is one that I have learned something from. He told me that after I broke up with my last LDR SO. My friend didn't consider the relationship to unsuccessful because I broke up with my SO. He encouraged me to look at what I learned from it. So I did. I autopsied the relationship. I looked at my part. I looked at the things my ex had to say about me. How much of that was true? What was my part? I learned a lot about myself by autopsying the relationship. I made a plan to change those things that were in my power.

                I pledged to not chase. I pledged to do things differently. I pledged to improve. I implore you to do the same.

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