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The Unkown

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    #1

    The Unkown

    Hey all,
    Have any of you had doubts about meeting your SO for the first time? I guess I wouldn't really call them "doubts", but I'm just nervous that he's not who he says he is.
    Has anyone ever been "catfished" with an LDR? It's this crazy fear I have that when I go to pick him up from the airport he won't be the same person he has made himself out to be.
    I'm sure it's completly normal to feel this way, but it's just kind of scary.

    I've fallen in love with his personality already, and the pictures I've seen of him are very handsome! I'm also worried that when he sees me, I'm not up to par with the image that he has in his mind.
    I've been completely honest with him, and I've found that it's easier to be honest with someone who you haven't met in person yet.

    I struggle with anxiety and somedays I find myself feeling really anxious about this whole situation. I do tend to psych myself out of a lot of good things and I don't want to do that with my SO.
    I have a really good feeling about it, but I guess I've seen too many episodes of "To Catch A Predator".

    Any advice on how to let my anxiety go about this potential blessing in my life?


    Thank you
    Tags: None
    #2
    I'm sure there have been many. Have you video called him? that's a pretty surefire way to figure out if he is who he says he is appearance wise anyways. You will never know how they act in public- you just kinda assume if he has been openly honest with you that he will act how he acts with you in public of course.
    "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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      #3
      The pictures? So you haven't Skyped yet?
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        I have to admit that even though all the facts say that my SO is completely honest with me I sometimes feel that way, too. But we talk and videochat all the time so it is fairly easy to convince myself that I have nothing to worry about.

        I really recommend videochatting (Skype, Google+ Hangout, etc) with your SO. Not only to put your mind at ease but also because it's a fantastic way to communicate in a LDR.

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          #5
          Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
          The pictures? So you haven't Skyped yet?
          We had a skype date last weekend, but he had a funeral to attend for his Godmother, and I wasn't about to bother him with video chatting, he seemed pretty upset.

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            #6
            Well today is as good a day as any.
            "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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              #7
              Originally posted by Unconditional View Post
              Well today is as good a day as any.
              I agree completely, but he's 7 hours ahead, so by the time I get off of work he's in bed almost asleep. And he usually has class at the University in the mornings so he needs his rest.

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                #8
                I'm not worried about meeting him at all. We Skype fairly often so I have seen what he looks like and he matches the photos he sent me. He also gave me his address and I Googled it to find out if it was real and it was. Everything he's told me about himself is true and I trust him completely. If anything I'm actually anxious to meet him, but it's an excited form of anxious lol.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by champton View Post
                  I agree completely, but he's 7 hours ahead, so by the time I get off of work he's in bed almost asleep. And he usually has class at the University in the mornings so he needs his rest.
                  Well if you both keep making excuses because you are nervous you'll never know! Don't feel like a skype date needs to be an hour or something, with such a time difference you have to compromise a little bit sometimes. You wake up a bit earlier, he goes to sleep a bit later... Even just saying hi should ease your worries! I'm sure there's a 10 minute time frame where you're both awake, and weekends are even better of course. Don't make such a big deal out of skyping, even if the first time is super exciting, it's just another way of communicating like you usually do!

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                    #10
                    I agree with MissButterfly that you need to be able to compromise to be able to make the time. If it's going to ease your mind, a 5 minute Skype video chat should easily be arranged.

                    Have you already planned a trip for him to come visit? It's probably easier on your mind for him to come to you if you have worries. This is my 4th LDR and i always went to them for the first trip. I also always had a backup plan (close hotels, car rental places, etc) in case it went to hell after I arrived. Each person I met though was exactly who they said they were. The only one I never Skyped with was my first LDR and that's because Skype wasn't invented yet. All we had were pictures to go by and phone calls. (Yeah, texting wasn't around yet either....)
                    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by R&R View Post
                      I agree with MissButterfly that you need to be able to compromise to be able to make the time. If it's going to ease your mind, a 5 minute Skype video chat should easily be arranged.

                      Have you already planned a trip for him to come visit? It's probably easier on your mind for him to come to you if you have worries. This is my 4th LDR and i always went to them for the first trip. I also always had a backup plan (close hotels, car rental places, etc) in case it went to hell after I arrived. Each person I met though was exactly who they said they were. The only one I never Skyped with was my first LDR and that's because Skype wasn't invented yet. All we had were pictures to go by and phone calls. (Yeah, texting wasn't around yet either....)
                      We have a Skype date for Sunday! I'm hoping things go well, and I'm sure they will.
                      He is planning to visit me this summer and he said that if I enjoy his company I'm more than welcome to visit him in return. My mom is going to come with me to visit him if things go well this summer.

                      Thank you everyone!

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