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International LDR and dealing with death

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    #1

    International LDR and dealing with death

    Hey guys,

    So let me apologize in advance for this thread, it's not going to be a fun one! But I thought I could get help from some people who have been there or maybe will know what to do...


    My boyfriend recently (2 days ago) received a suicidal email from his mom and found out later that day that she wasn't at work and had in fact collapsed in her house.

    She is now at the hospital getting treatment and everybody is trying to stay positive but the doctors don't seem to be very positive about the situation and it even got a little worse today. She is basically not waking up and her liver and kidneys seem to be very damaged; no one knows if she'll make it through especially knowing the fact that she doesn't really want to.

    I am really grateful that my boyfriend keeps me posted and I am so proud of him cause he seems to be handling it very rationally for now. But I feel really really useless and I have no idea what to do or say...

    I am not able to go back to the US before November (according to what the TSA agent told me last time I went there) so I feel even more stupid being here when all I want to do is be able to be over there and support him and his family. I am quite close to his mom, she was like a really good friend to me and I'm so heartbroken because, even though I understand that she was suffering (she has a lot of health issues) he doesn't deserve to lose his mom.

    I am trying as hard as I can to send him little messages once in a while, trying to make him smile/laugh when I can and just emphasize on the fact that I'm here if he needs me but I really don't know what else to do...

    Do you guys have any idea of what I could do? Have you ever had to deal with something similar?

    Thank you so much for your answers,

    Belle
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    #2
    It's sounds like you're being super supportive, and right now it appears that is all you are able to do. I'd say just keep helping him in whatever way you can, whether it's taking his mind off of it or letting him talk about it. As long as he knows you're there for him, it's probably the best you can do right now. I'm sorry the two of you have to deal with that, I really hope everything works out and things get better soon!!!

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      #3
      Originally posted by Sarah96 View Post
      It's sounds like you're being super supportive, and right now it appears that is all you are able to do. I'd say just keep helping him in whatever way you can, whether it's taking his mind off of it or letting him talk about it. As long as he knows you're there for him, it's probably the best you can do right now. I'm sorry the two of you have to deal with that, I really hope everything works out and things get better soon!!!
      Thank you for your kind words. It got worse yesterday so it doesn't look like she will make it through. I guess it is all I can do, it's just hard not to be able to anything physically also.
      Thank you so much though!

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        #4
        Oh my goodness what a horrfic situation to be in...

        I think you're doing all you can. Just be there for him, tell him you love him and that he can vent to you in whatever way he needs to.

        My heart goes out to both of you... xxx

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          #5
          As much as it hurts, there really isn't more you can do other than giving him room to deal with things and grieve, but also show that you're there for him to be supportive and caring. Everyone deals differently with grief and pain, and as long as he doesn't become reckless or harmful to himself or others, it's okay for him to approach things his way. Even if he can't show it much and in person, he'll appreciate your support tremendously. All the best to you and your SO in this hard time!

          ~
          It'll take a lot more than words and guns
          A whole lot more than riches and muscle
          The hands of the many must join as one
          And together we'll cross the river

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            #6
            Thank you so much for your answer and your support

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by Miasmata View Post
              As much as it hurts, there really isn't more you can do other than giving him room to deal with things and grieve, but also show that you're there for him to be supportive and caring. Everyone deals differently with grief and pain, and as long as he doesn't become reckless or harmful to himself or others, it's okay for him to approach things his way. Even if he can't show it much and in person, he'll appreciate your support tremendously. All the best to you and your SO in this hard time!
              Thank you so much; yeah he definitely needs to grieve however he wants to. Thanks for replying

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