LDR that wants to become closer, but am very scared and depressed on issues

[Strider78]

Hello,

I have been in a relationship (Long Distance) for a little over three years. I didn't think it would actually last for three years. I did me her in person when she was working in another country (Italy). Now she is working in France and is going through depression on well a lot of things on her mind. I forgot to mention we did have a lil fight since this past Sunday. So a quick update we didn't really talk a lot until now. I really do love her and I know she does love me too. It's been three years and well she wants to finally close the distance. Which I'm okay with that too. But what kind of got me wondering is where? Where is the ideal place where we can finally be able to be together? She tells me she doesn't care where. Well If it means that I will have to leave everything and just pack up and go. Well I would like to know where. Also when we talk serious it doesn't seem to go well. Some times it would end up in an argument.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm scared if things don't go well. Knowing her her past jobs only lasted maybe a week or two in one country to another. So for me I would like to go to a country where she and I can agree on. Of course I have no idea where she would like to start a new life with me. So I have been having trouble trying to talk serious but it would end ruining the conversation. Which was something that I really hate myself from doing. She would tell me that she would want to finally be with me. Also would tell me she is feeling depressed. Seeing her like that is also making me feel depressed. I really want to give up everything I have for her but somehow am too scared of the possibilities that could happen. Also I really don't want to lose her after three years in this relationship. It's stressing me out and also making my job more difficult since it's always on my mind. It makes me really sad at the point where I'm about to cry. I pray everyday that things between her and I don't fall apart. I know it's a difficult to talk about it. But I really need some kind of help or advice on what I should do and wondered how I can deal with this issue with my gf. I really do want to be with her and push aside the distance. Im afraid that the longer we take the sooner she will walk away.

[differentcountries]

Where should you live? Somewhere where you will get a decent job and where you speak the language or are willing to learn. If one of you have family or friends there already that is a plus. If you plan to close the distance over marriage she has to show she can support you as well.

Anyhow, if she is really depressed, it will be a good idea to seek help for it.

[ronjaandbirk]

I generally think both partners moving is making it unecessary complicated unless there isnt another way. starting a new life in a strange place, moving in permanently with a partner and figuring out the lgistics to do that is tedious and exhausting and difficult enough if its only one person.
I don't Know what your job situation is and how you feel about your current home but honestly if my so would tell me he doesnt care where I'd ask him to move here.

On another note; someone saying they don't care where they are in combination with possibly being depressed sounds like that person wants to mainly escape their current setting. Thats a bad idea in my book, it doesnt really solve problems and its a unstable ground for a functioning close distance relationship.