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He tries to avoid serious conversations, and I'm not sure how to get us over that

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    He tries to avoid serious conversations, and I'm not sure how to get us over that

    (This is a bit long, but bare with me. The question is clear as a whistle)

    He's genuine.
    He calls me cute names, and compliments me.
    He tells me he loves me.
    He praises my accomplishments.
    He urges me to try new things.
    He gives me advice.
    He skypes with me even when he's been at work all day and is barely able to keep his eyes open.
    He's exactly what I've always wanted, and I love him so much. . .
    Buuut. . . Something is wrong.

    Every morning I wake up with a message from him "Good morning Sweetheart" "Hope you have a nice day" "Love you so much".
    (to clarify, my mornings are his afternoons. There's a five hour difference between us, and I try to make myself available when he's off work, instead of when it's almost his bed time.0

    Now that you know all of that, know this as well.
    He said "I love you" after talking for three days. Three. Days.
    My cousin's husband (they've been together for 9 years, married for 2) said that he loved her after only three days, as well.
    So it's not uncommon, and it doesn't necessarily mean "holy crap, run, this guy is trouble".

    Here's my predicament. He loves me. Genuinely loves me. I love him. Genuinely love him. BUT he doesn't like to have serious conversations.
    We can talk about anything. We can talk about sad things, about past things, about happy future things (marriage is definitely a possibility -this is coming from me-).
    He doesn't want to talk about things like -and I took this from the 100 things to ask your SO- "Do you have any deal breakers? Things that would seriously make you reconsider our relationship?"

    His response? "No." "I am happy."

    I said "So, say I could commit murder. Not a deal breaker?"

    His response? "I want to start a new life with you." (This isn't uncommon. Normally, stating an endearment is just his way of trying to deflect from the conversation, which is his way of saying "I don't want to get into a conversation that would make you have any doubts")

    So I make a joke about the fact that living with a killer might not be a good situation "lol".
    And I press the conversation by saying "In all honesty. There's got to be something. Big or small that would make you break it."

    Response: "No"

    Kaaaayyy....? So I press on.
    "For me, it would be someone cheating on me. NOT saying that you will or would think about it. But if anyone hurt me like that I'd leave."

    "I agree with you"

    So cheating is a deal breaker.

    HERE'S THE QUESTION!!!

    Why didn't he just say that cheating was a no-no?

    I know guys like to keep text messages short and to the point, since apparently they don't see it as an actual conversation (or at least that's what I've read).
    But saying "Cheating" isn't exactly writing a short story.

    #2
    You are making something out of nothing

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      #3
      I agree with snow_girl on this one. Especially since you two were texting, he probably just didn't think it's a conversation to get into at the time. Regardless of the fact if he loves you or not, you two haven't been dating all that long. These conversations tend to come up over time as the walls come down and you learn about each other's pasts. I agree that there may be a problem if he constantly deflects any sort of serious conversations, but in this case, I don't think there is quite the problem that you think there is. Hell, if you asked me the same question I'd be like...meh..I don't think there's any deal breakers? oh...cheating? well yeah, I guess that's a deal breaker for me. murdering? well it depends on the situation but I guess? and so on. Sometimes you just don't think of those things off the top of your head.

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