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Since she got her new job and relocated she has been ignoring me

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    #1

    Since she got her new job and relocated she has been ignoring me

    Hey,

    I've been completely patient. Relocating and getting a new job is a challenge, I know that.

    What pisses me off is when she gets back from work, see my messages on FB chat without answering them and then sleep!

    She answers them the next day at work!

    We now really don't "chat", we just send a text, wait a whole day to answer, then repeat.

    We only have that one skype call per week, but other than that, I don't know what she is doing.

    We used to chat A LOT when she came from work.

    She started her new job on 9th of November.

    I even had some stupid thoughts that she might be cheating on me, which sounds SUPER insecure, I know.

    It is just, she sees my message for example at 7:00 PM, don't answer, become online again MULTIPLE times after that, and still doesn't answer.

    I thought maybe she is still unboxing or cleaning the apartment and just busy, but she is ONLINE!

    She just have to answer me the next day. Is it a mind-game (power-play) or she is just stressed from relocating and the new job?

    Thanks
    Tags: None
    #2
    Pretty sure she would be the best person to answer that question, unfortunately.

    Facebook Messenger is a great platform, my partner and i use it exclusively for texting, voice calls and video calls as well. Not ebing able to turn off the "Seen" and "Active xx Minutes Ago" features does suck, though. These things happen.

    My partner sleeps very lightly and always wakes up and reads all the stuff i send her during the course of my day at stupid hours like 1am her time or something and i get all excited thinking she's up early but nope.
    "And I miss you but, it feels good this way
    Let’s fall in love somewhere that you'll wanna stay"

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      #3
      Try and talk with her about it on that one skype call that you have during the week. Tell her everyting that's bothering you and if you are talking she can't postpone the reply till the next day at work

      Comment

        #4
        Welcome to LFAD. I think talking to her would be the best way to go about it. Relocating is stressful she might need some time to settle in.

        Comment

          #5
          WOW. I'm really amazed and grateful for the helpful comments

          Okay, the reason I don't want to bring that up to her that it will make me appear needy.

          Comment

            #6
            You are not 'completetly patient'. She just moved AND got a new job less than a month ago. Just one of those things are enough to make most people tired if not exhausted. But you are right that she should try to communicate with you the best she can.

            You come off as more needy if you harbour your anger and then choose to blow it off into her face. If you bring it up now you can choose the timing better. You may say something like 'Love. While I understand that you may find your new job stressful I need to feel that there is a connection between us. When you dont a enswer the same day I wonder why and especially when I can see you online doing other things. Could you try to answer me the same day a little more often? That would be great.'
            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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              #7
              So now she texted me and on a casual note, she mentioned that her parents came on Monday and helped her move some stuff from her old place to the new one and when I told her why didn't she tell me, she said "I thought I did, didn't I?" then when I said "Nope", she said "Oh. Well. They came on Monday".

              Also I was "supposedly" going to talk to her parents for the first time through Skype on Friday, I asked her if she told them yet, she said yes but her mom will think about it!

              We are both in our late 20's.

              I have a business trip tomorrow. It certainly came on the right time to take my mind off..

              Comment

                #8
                Takes more than a month to get used to a new job and get acquainted with everything. Slow down, stop pressuring yourself and just deep breaths. Don't take at face value that she has or hasn't yet read a message you've sent her, either. Sometimes Facebook, etc. can be wrong. They are man-made programs after all

                Comment

                  #9
                  Hey.

                  I think I know what you're going through - currently my SO is having lots of school work and we barely talk (I wrote a topic here, few days ago, you can find it), I guess we just need to be patient and see how it goes. I know it's hard and I know how you feel. I think you won't appear as needy if you calmly talk about it with her.

                  Good luck!

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Have you asked her how she is doing at all? I hope you're not sitting around, waiting for messages and taking it personally that she's not making you feel better while she goes through a stressful life transition. Think about it from her perspective. If it was a major relocation, she doesn't have a support system around her any more. No friends, no family, no "safe place" to relax and recharge. Everything is new - new home, new bed, unfamiliar roads and stores, new co-workers, new boss, new job duties to learn.... I'm getting stressed out myself just imagining it!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by ChloChlo View Post
                      Have you asked her how she is doing at all? I hope you're not sitting around, waiting for messages and taking it personally that she's not making you feel better while she goes through a stressful life transition. Think about it from her perspective. If it was a major relocation, she doesn't have a support system around her any more. No friends, no family, no "safe place" to relax and recharge. Everything is new - new home, new bed, unfamiliar roads and stores, new co-workers, new boss, new job duties to learn.... I'm getting stressed out myself just imagining it!
                      No I'm not just sitting around, I ask her how's her day and such.

                      Also she has her parents with her since Monday also she describes her co-workers and boss as VERY friendly and outgoing.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Originally posted by bartinkopl View Post
                        Hey.

                        I think I know what you're going through - currently my SO is having lots of school work and we barely talk (I wrote a topic here, few days ago, you can find it), I guess we just need to be patient and see how it goes. I know it's hard and I know how you feel. I think you won't appear as needy if you calmly talk about it with her.

                        Good luck!
                        THANK YOU!

                        I will wait an extra week, so she could had a month since she took the job. If it was still the same then yea, I'll have a talk with her.

                        P.S. I will go now to check your topic

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