Yes I was up all last night thinking the same thing, but when i spoke with her this morning she says that she does not like text messages she would rather have a phone call. Also in her defence I am the first man she has dated in almost 30 years, as her husband of 20 years died and she swore off relationships until I came along. So texting is something she is not used to with regard to dating, and she has never had a long distance relationship before.
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How do you deal with missing your SO?Comment
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Thank you that was a great help I just assumed it was an excepted form of communication.
I appreciate your comments.Comment
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No she is not a Skype person but on the phone and in person she is very very sexy and romantic.Comment
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Having been married 20 years and new to LDRs AND not having dated for so long explains a few things. 4 months down the line isn't that long for a relationship and such, especially LDR, so she's probably just trying to find a happy-enough medium with you.Comment
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You have the identical attitude towards texting that she does. I miss her badly and just like any form of contact.Comment
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Mmmmmmm I am beginning to think I over reacted from what I am reading and after what she said this AM. The funny thing is I deal with some of Australia's most violent criminals but my SO scares me they don't. Just the distance thing is so bad.
But in saying all that I will be cautious.Comment
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I admit, I chuckled at this.Originally posted by Stellasman View Post
Distance sucks no matter how far away both you and your SO are from one another. In time, though, it does get a bit "easier" (I use the word lightly, but can't really think of a more apt word right now) because you settle into a certain routine: you get used to their lifestyle, they get used to yours, you'll both get to know when you can text/call/Skype etc. one another and when you can't, you learn more about your SO's quirks, personality, likes/dislikes, hobbies and habits etc. and vice versa, among many other things. The thing to keep in mind, however, is the distance won't always be there, if you both want this to work out. Good luck.Comment
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Honestly it sounds like she is not interested in talking to you. Limiting contact to 3 texts a day, doesn't want affection, and has excuses that make you to be the bad guy? Excuses.Comment
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Or, she sounds like a woman who lost her husband of 20 years and is probably still grieving on some level. If this is her first time dating in 30 years, especially in the wake of such horrible circumstances, it's probably going to take her some time to warm back up to the world of dating regardless of how willing she is to participate in it. I think this woman is allowed to want to take it slow if that's what she wants to do. It's better that she takes it slow than to rush into something when she's not prepared.Originally posted by Kapwned View Post
OP:
Just talk to her and see what she would be most comfortable with, and go from there. I'm sure you can find a happy medium. As she feels better/more comfortable, she'll open up more. As for coping with the distance, the best way is to throw yourself into hobbies, work, etc. Keep yourself occupied so you don't think too much about how much the distance sucks. It'll also give you more to talk about over the phone if you're active. Since she's not super comfortable with romantic thoughts yet, and it's not like you can just turn those thoughts off, maybe consider writing little love letters or something? Just to get it out of your head. You don't need to send them to her, but the act of writing out those thoughts might make you feel better.
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Not knowing the background, which as important, it changes my feelings a bit.
I am a teacher as well, not supposed to text, but do in the am, lunch and dinner.
I hated talking on the phone so that was my main way to communicate. My so hated texting, but like phone. We do both, talking every morning and afternoon when I am on the way to work and back... And added skype too.. I never used it before him.
Our changes happened after his first visit back. After we realized how much we needed to talk as a couple, in our relationship.
If she prefers calls, then go for it that way,
. It's easier to get what the person is saying, and "I love you" ALWAYS sounds better when my SO says in I real life.
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I envy you having so much contact with your SO, it came as a shock to me but when I remember that I a, only the 2nd man she has dated on 30 years, i guess I can understand, though my heart still breaks.Comment
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Just an update on this communication issue I am having with my SO, I almost caused her to end the relationship today as I sent her an email saying that I love lots of contact and I will never have enough. Well when you would answer the phone as usual in the morning, she was in the supermarket and phone on the handbag, I went straight into panic mode sending her texts etc and she had to have stern words with me to settle down or I will ruin the relationship.
I don't think I need to say that I am struggling big time with this LDR,Comment
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I will say one more thing and that is I don't know how she can manage to have such little communication with me but she does. I guess I have only have two options and the second one is not palatable.Comment
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It is 6.20pm in Sydney and I am sitting at work trying to work out why my SO will not talk to me, I honestly can't work it out. I mean my first thought is that she has a better offer which I know is not true but seriously I do wonder. On the other side on the coin there will be those who say that she has things that she wants to do and that I just have to understand. This LDR stuff is very hard!!Comment
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