How Do You Cope.

[Stellasman]

How do you veterans of this site cope with missing your SO, because I am having trouble with it.

[yuunai]

Try to make yourself busy, occupy yourself, do something that will get your mind off things the feeling of missing him wont really disappear, it will lighten though, but don't make it harder for yourself by only concentrating on missing your SO.

[Stellasman]

I hope the feeling of missing HIM does go away because my SO is a she.

Your advice is solid and positive but I just have to get it through my thick head that sitting around missing her is not the right thing to do I need to keep busy. The point you make about not focusing on missing her is the hardest thing I am dealing with at the moment.

On a positive note I have just booked a flight to go and see her for four nights.

[Unicorn26]

It's just something you learn to live with. It's always there, sometimes it gets really bad...

Having a date for your next visit to focus on is a huge help, as is keeping busy.

I have no set date for the next visit, I'm struggling a little right now. Christmas without the most important person in my life is tough.

[BaconGirl05]

You learn to cope as the relationship goes on. You just have to make sure that it doesn't interfere with your life now. Don't let the feelings of missing her get in the way of your social life. Go out and do things. But, also make plans to talk to your SO and visit each other. It's great that you have something to look forward to.

Keep yourself busy with work and hobbies. I've noticed that when I busy myself with work and school, time goes by a lot faster. I see my SO in a few months and it feels like just yesterday it was July.

[ThePhoenixRises]

I will echo what others said - try to keep busy Not always easy, though. For me, when those feelings of missing him start to creep in - I try to go for a run or do some kind of exercise. It seems to help me. I take it day by day and try to focus on the date we will see each other (we will meet for the first time in early 2016).

It is quite difficult and long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart I find that if I write a journal it also helps me when I am having a difficult time. There are good days and bad days. But each day ends and it is one day closer to being together - I have to think this way otherwise it becomes too hard. I find weekends the hardest because of the different timezones - during the week is easier because going to work is a nice distraction

[Unicorn26]

I will echo what others said - try to keep busy Not always easy, though. For me, when those feelings of missing him start to creep in - I try to go for a run or do some kind of exercise. It seems to help me. I take it day by day and try to focus on the date we will see each other (we will meet for the first time in early 2016).

It is quite difficult and long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart I find that if I write a journal it also helps me when I am having a difficult time. There are good days and bad days. But each day ends and it is one day closer to being together - I have to think this way otherwise it becomes too hard. I find weekends the hardest because of the different timezones - during the week is easier because going to work is a nice distraction

That's exciting!!!! Not long now then!

[Stellasman]

Hi I don't like to hear that you are struggling as it is the worst feeling especially when you know that your SO is on the other end of the phone or at text but they ignore you.

I don't have any answers all I have is questions. My SO says she expects me to call her on Christmas Day which I will but I can guarantee you will hear nothing after that.

[Stellasman]

The keeping busy part is what I struggle with as i don't have a social life and my mind is easily distracted from my hobbies.

[Stellasman]

Yeh meeting for the first time is so exciting, I was looking at the photo, taken by one of her friends prior to her cruise, and it is just filled with pure emotion two people kissing after meeting for the first time. I am a man but I am not afraid to say it brings tears to my eyes when I think of the feeling of joy we felt that day.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

For me, the longer I've been LD, the more "numb" I get to the whole thing. Certain things stir it up, such as visits, but most of the time I go on with my life as if nothing is wrong because I just don't let myself think about it. I also have found that keeping a countdown until I see him next actually makes things worse for me. If I continually remind myself "only 2 more months until I get to see him" and see how slowly the days count down, I never stop thinking about it. This time, we didn't know when we were going to see each other and so it was easier to keep going with my life until he was just here instead of sitting here pining for that day for months. I don't know if this helps you at all, but whatever your coping mechanisms are, it will get easier little by little. It's a process and you have to figure out what works for you.

[Stellasman]

Thanks MissingMyDutchLove but I haven't found a coping mechanism yet as I'm still trying to adjust to this lifestyle, I'm also trying to adjust to the reduction in the amount of contact i can have with her. My SO is firmly in control of this relationship and I just riding the roller-coaster and tyring to hang on.

It is funny or I am funny but I just had a shiver of excitement thinking of January but that didn't last long, it's like when I spoke to her this morning for 35 minutes or so, I felt so positive and happy then it is like someone let the air out of a tyre the feelings slowly went away.

[staruletto]

I'm kinda down because my s/o has barely messaged me today but he is with family right now for the holidays so he's probably busy. So I'm playing some games, drinking tea and enjoying some me time. Granted, I've also been crazy busy at work because of the holidays. Keeping busy really does help. Find a project maybe? Learn a language? Write a blog? [Insert other various activities here]? Endless possibilities are endless! Personally I like my ldr space, also we haven't met in person yet, so after we meet up this summer and I'm back home I might not be so optimistic about the distance (amongst other things). We'll have to wait and see!

[Stellasman]

Well if I needed a shock reminder how much my SO hates texts and to much communication well today i got it. Being a human being and missing her terribly I made the mistake of sending her a text saying "I miss you and the silence is deafening". Simply saying I miss her and the silence from her end is very loud.

Well she asked me to call her and she told me in no uncertain words "one more text and we are finished"

To me there are four important foundations to a relationship, Trust, Respect, Honesty and communication. I thought she felt the same early on as we texted each other all the time, but then all of a sudden she placed a ban on texts so all we have is a phone call in the morning and if I am lucky one at night.

My brain says she is playing games tell her it is over but my heart says NO give her a chance.

I honestly don't know what to do.

[Stellasman]

Hi staruletto,

Before I met my SO we texted like nothing else it has been since we met that the communication suffered. Until you meet the SO you can only guess what they are like from phone calls and texts but once I met her I knew she was the one and I think she did too. It is so hard when one person loves to communicate and the other doesn't. If someone sends me a text I will show that person the respect they deserve and reply, regardless of what I am doing.