LDR guy moving to my home town, shoud I let him move in?

[Fir]

Hi all,

Been having LDR with a guy now for a few months, started with messaging and quickly moved to phone calls every single day. We spend hours some days on the phone.

He's moving to my home town soon. I can see us spending all night on the phone still even if we see each other during the day or evening. We still message in the mornings and during the day as well as phone calls.

What's folks thoughts on asking this guy to move in. We're both mature adults, other than a few pets there's no one else to consider in the house.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts

[R&R]

You stated this relationship has only been for a few months so far. Have you even met in person yet?

[Fir]

Hi, no not yet and I know that sounds crazy!!
We do have a few mutual folk we know so feel we're not complete strangers.
And it's been a kinda fate thing how we actually met and started conversing. Thanks for replying

[R&R]

In my opinion, there is no need to rush moving in together. You've been laying the foundation of getting to know each other while being apart. Now you can take it to the next step of getting to know each other in person. You can have actual dates and spend time together in person, getting to know each other better. After that, if you're comfortable moving in together, then go for it. There's no need to jump right into the step of sharing a home.

[Moon]

Since you posted in the international thread, where is he from? How will you do this when you need to get visas, and which visa is he getting? International moves are very, very complicated, are you sure you know what you're doing? Fate doesn't trump the law, I'm afraid.

[Fir]

He's originally from here so effectively coming home. Been working all over. So no law breaking going on
Am I sure I know what I'm doing? Good question, are we ever really sure when it comes to new relationships? We don't know till we're in it. It's all a risk and scary no matter how old you are or your experience. Thanks for your reply

[Moon]

He's originally from here so effectively coming home. Been working all over. So no law breaking going on
Am I sure I know what I'm doing? Good question, are we ever really sure when it comes to new relationships? We don't know till we're in it. It's all a risk and scary no matter how old you are or your experience. Thanks for your reply

I didn't mean to ask if you knew what you were doing relationship-wise, but international-wise Having been in an international LDR myself for almost 7 years, and seeing some incredibly naive posts here in that amount of time, I had to ask. It's something near and dear to my heart, I guess. That's not a slight against you, I don't know anything about you, but the amount of people who ignore their heads to blindly obey their hearts on here is astounding. Glad you don't have a visa to worry about!

[R&R]

He's originally from here so effectively coming home. Been working all over. So no law breaking going on
Am I sure I know what I'm doing? Good question, are we ever really sure when it comes to new relationships? We don't know till we're in it. It's all a risk and scary no matter how old you are or your experience. Thanks for your reply

It can be a risk and scary but you can also be smart about it. If you had been close distance for the last few months, would you be rushing to move in together? I doubt it. Follow your heart but take your brain with you.

We've also seen on here (and I've experienced myself) getting along amazingly on the phone and emails, etc......and then absolutely no chemistry when meeting in person. Take your time.

[Fir]

I didn't mean to ask if you knew what you were doing relationship-wise, but international-wise Having been in an international LDR myself for almost 7 years, and seeing some incredibly naive posts here in that amount of time, I had to ask. It's something near and dear to my heart, I guess. That's not a slight against you, I don't know anything about you, but the amount of people who ignore their heads to blindly obey their hearts on here is astounding. Glad you don't have a visa to worry about!

I understand thank you. Gosh 7 years, well done!! Yes the visas would have made things more difficult. Never been in a situation like this before so it's all learning. Thank you

[Fir]

It can be a risk and scary but you can also be smart about it. If you had been close distance for the last few months, would you be rushing to move in together? I doubt it. Follow your heart but take your brain with you.

We've also seen on here (and I've experienced myself) getting along amazingly on the phone and emails, etc......and then absolutely no chemistry when meeting in person. Take your time.

Thanks again R&R and by the way that is a beautiful pic of you and your partner. Your advice is greatly appreciated and we have had very frank discussions on the chemistry thing. When you meet someone in person for the 1st time, not on the net and get on it's that chemistry working and yes that is something you can't experience over the phone or internet. He hasn't asked or discussed where he'll stay when he arrives back. It's just it will still be a bit of travel to see each other, about an hour each way to the closest place to stay. We'll work it out.

[Loveyoumore]

You stated this relationship has only been for a few months so far. Have you even met in person yet?

My thoughts exactally, but my next question to the Original Poster is when will you meet eachother in person? I'm wouldnt jump so fast into moving in with eachother with out a few dates etc. in person first. Just my opinion though.

[Fir]

My thoughts exactally, but my next question to the Original Poster is when will you meet eachother in person? I'm wouldnt jump so fast into moving in with eachother with out a few dates etc. in person first. Just my opinion though.

I know I get the thought lines of take it slow. I work long hours and live out of town a little so evening would really be the only time to see each other to start with. And it would seem kinda crazy to still be spending so long on the phone when we could actually be together getting to know each other. As he will need somewhere to stay when get's home maybe it could start as a flatting type situation?? Put mutual rules in place , we're adults surely we could work something out to give ourselves guidelines?? Hey and thanks, I did ask for folks opinions so greatly appreciated. Oh and it'll be another month and a bit before we meet.

[Loveyoumore]

I know I get the thought lines of take it slow. I work long hours and live out of town a little so evening would really be the only time to see each other to start with. And it would seem kinda crazy to still be spending so long on the phone when we could actually be together getting to know each other. As he will need somewhere to stay when get's home maybe it could start as a flatting type situation?? Put mutual rules in place , we're adults surely we could work something out to give ourselves guidelines?? Hey and thanks, I did ask for folks opinions so greatly appreciated. Oh and it'll be another month and a bit before we meet.

I understand what you are saying, what is a flatting type situation? Guidelines are a good starting point.

[Fir]

I understand what you are saying, what is a flatting type situation? Guidelines are a good starting point.

Flatting is like living in same house but not sharing same bedroom.

[lucybelle]

Even though everyone is telling you it's not a good idea, you still seem to want to go for it. So just do whatever and let us know when you realize you moved way too fast.