Living together, and the parents...

[LatteLove]

Have you closed the distance together and are living or have lived with his/her parents? If so i would love to hear about these situations that Long Distance Relationships can sometimes bring us into.

Not all can be bad, but not all can be vastly good either. What was life like with your SO and living with there parents/family?

If you are still reading.. Hi! And thank you If you would like to know a little about my experience in this topic then please read on

So my Boyfriend is from Australia and I am from England, we have been together almost two years now. We have lived together in England in our own place of stay, but he had to go back to Australia so we decided i would go with.

We are now living at his parents house down under and it is very stressful. We do not let things affect our relationship that are beyond our control. But it is very difficult at times, i get on really well with everyone apart from my Boyfriend's Mum. Has anyone else had a similar problem? Feedback much appreciated! Thank you.

[JaneEmily]

When we close the distance in two months time, we'll be living with my parents until we can find our own place eventually in the same town and so that we have financial stability before jumping ship and living on our own. My parents and Davy get along really well, and they're very honest to each other which helps a lot going into it. They always ask his opinion, and our plans and we all try to meet in the middle with that. Everyone's opinion is valuable in my house, whether they're blood-related or not. I think what might be a good idea is to have a good heart to heart with your boyfriend, and then have it with his parents. Ensure they know that this isn't you complaining or trying to stir trouble, that you just want to resolve an issue and make living together as smooth as possible because it's important to you to get along with his family and there is honest communication between all of you. It could just be a simple thing as that she feels threatened by you and that she has to compete for her son's attention? If that's the case, you just have to show her that you're not trying to take her son away nor trying to make it a competition. Maybe try doing some family activities together, go out for a day together - beach, picnic, a hike or anything you guys like doing - maybe even a board game evening where you're all relaxing with a drink nearby. It might even be an idea to have some 1 on 1 time with his mum, go for a coffee together or grocery shopping etc.

[lucybelle]

When my SO and I moved back to the USA together we lived with my parents for a year. At first it was going to be less, then we got along pretty well. Things in the last 4-5 months got sort of stressful. We never laid down a real agreement for rent so both parties felt cheated towards the end. Petty fights started breaking out. And of course there was our lack of privacy which was an issue since day one.

I wouldn't change anything and I think it was a great idea for us to live with them while we found our jobs and got settled in. But after a year we were ready to go. We have an amazing place of our own now and are very happy to not have my parents with us!

[BaconGirl05]

When I was with my SO for 6 months, we lived with his parents and family. It definitely took some getting used to. His family was so different than mine, and it was kind of hard to adjust. He has 2 younger brothers and 2 older. He lived with his parents and his younger brothers. Being in a house full of boys was new to me because I only lived with my older brother. I have a love/hate relationship with his parents. It's hard to explain, but sometimes they would get shitty for no reason, but when things were going great, they were fine. It was the first time I had met his family, so I tried to bond with them. I would go with them on family outings.

His mom was someone that I had a hard time getting along with. She would be really rude to my SO or his siblings when she had a hard day. She was never rude to me, but seeing her like that changed how I felt about her. Sometimes I was able to put up with her, other days I had to be in a different room than her. We're on good terms now though. She tells me, "You're always welcome over here and you can stay as long as you want." All in all, it was a great experience living with his family. I got to know everyone and they all seemed pretty interested in me, so that's always a plus. I'm going back there to live with his family for awhile. Part of me is excited, but the other part can't wait until my SO and I finally get our place.

[LatteLove]

Thank you so much for your replies It is really good to hear about others who are or have been in similar situations.

BaconGirl05 I can relate to the love/hate feel towards my Boyfriend's parents. I also have had such a different upbringing to my SO. My parents split up when i was 6 years old, ever since then i have been raised more by my older brother who was always there for me and still is. Wich i am truly grateful for. But my parents were both more focused on there own lives since then, so iv not been in a close family unit for a long time.
In wich my Boyfriend's family very much is.

I get along fine with his dad, brother even grandparents they are amazing! But no matter how much i try his mum and I never really see eye to eye.

She is a very different person to myself but i try to find common interests yet still she just doesn't really seem interested in me or what i have to say.
But she is like this to everyone else its not just myself. She is very harsh with words and has to always have her way.

It is very difficult at times and i often do not know how to help. I recently was able to talk to my mum and brother over Skype wich was so lovely, as i miss my family dearly. They we're surprised at the things i told them of how my SO mum is, wich honestly was kind of a relief as sometimes i feel like i am going mad...

I often think of if my mum was to meet my Boyfriend's mother, they are so so different ha.

[Ella85]

My ex's dad moved in with us when I was living at my grandparents. He was only meant to be visiting and ended up staying. It put a lot of strain on not only my relationship but my family. It depends on the situation but it was hard living with his dad. It was my house and I was paying the rent, yet he wanted to do certain things (like smoke) that I wouldn't allow in the house because it was my home. It does depend on the family and the situation. But if SO ever wanted his mom to move in with us (in the future when she is old) I would be ok with it. I love his mom and we get on well.