I need some help/other opinions :)

[sasad]

Same... SO and I are always in communication.. we both are in Technology and on computers, so emails, texts or Skype IMs are normal. and an I love you always gets a response.. maybe 3 hours later, but always.
But, some people do say it out of habit.. and it will lose its effect I think. Talk to her and come up with a plan.. maybe Skype/talk for a specific time during the week or weekend.

[GaryT]

Hm, ok. Thank you - that's 'good' to know I guess.

I was able to 'force' it out of her by spamming in a few times and got an 'I love you' back. Albeit it isn't the same as returning 1 for 1, but it is something at least, and it does feel good.
I also found out that the reason why we have not been skyping for a few months now, and that we haven't been talking as much as of recent months, is due to the fact that she has been skyping and talking/messaging with someone else (a girl). She introduced me to her just a few hours ago, albeit, I don't mind it, but on some levels, it does suck that she rather spend time with her than me. Oh well, guess I will take what I can get and appreciate the time that she does have for me and..well..'enjoy the relationship'/'enjoy the ride' while it is still open Hopefully, with this introduction to this girl, she will spend some more time talking to me (in other words, she was enjoying chatting to a girl over me, which equated to less time with me. Now that the three of us are talking and have been introduced to each other, hopefully she will continue to talk to the other girl which will ultimately equate to more time with her for me).

Hehe, writing this up, this sounds so pathetic xD and having helped out so many other relationships, I can tell this is not healthy, nor has it turned into a good one and something must be done - however, it is hard to fix something when 25% of the conversation goes unanswered because of how little time spent talking to each other.

Same... SO and I are always in communication.. we both are in Technology and on computers, so emails, texts or Skype IMs are normal. and an I love you always gets a response.. maybe 3 hours later, but always.
But, some people do say it out of habit.. and it will lose its effect I think. Talk to her and come up with a plan.. maybe Skype/talk for a specific time during the week or weekend.

We've already arranged a time to skype; sometime around late march, early april. Honestly, if this falls through due to her end...I wouldn't know what to think anymore xD Jan. 4th was the last time we skyped.

[sasad]

Why on earth are you waiting so long to skype????

[GaryT]

Why on earth are you waiting so long to skype????

Haha, sadly, she's too busy to Skype with me (yet, she has time to Skype with her friend).

[Redheart14]

Doesn't seem like a fair excuse

[C.C.]

You have such a patience. If it were me I'd have confronted her ages ago

[R&R]

People will treat you how you allow them to treat you. She knows she can Skype with friends and not you because you will just sit back like a good boy and say "okay, whatever you want as long as I can be with you". Stand up for yourself!! You deserve someone who is as interested in being in a relationship with you as you are with them.

[GaryT]

Doesn't seem like a fair excuse

Haha, I wouldn't even call it an excuse xD But yes, it is unfair.

You have such a patience. If it were me I'd have confronted her ages ago

Haha, I would hafta agree with you if I wasn't me xD I don't think anyone would have the patience of which I have given her.

People will treat you how you allow them to treat you. She knows she can Skype with friends and not you because you will just sit back like a good boy and say "okay, whatever you want as long as I can be with you". Stand up for yourself!! You deserve someone who is as interested in being in a relationship with you as you are with them.

Sadly, this is true. However, with my lifestyle, work and past experiences have turned me into a wimp :P Joking aside, you are correct, I do give her too much room, however, it isn't about me standing up for myself, it's about her realizing how she treats me. And, if she doesn't realize it by the time our story has ended, then it is her lost.
I don't mind putting time and effort into people who are a part of my life or have played a part of it, as well..while some stories may not end well, it all plays a part in becoming who I am as a whole.
Just as this is, these wonder amazing PoVs that everyone on this thread has shared with me..I am truly grateful for the support, suggestion and advice each of you have given me - take for example, if my SO and I weren't having these issues, I would not have gotten to hear from all of you guys. So while my situation does suck/is less than ideal, I don't regret any of it.

[RichardMaxwell]

Ok, Gary, first of all it is perfectly normal to be texting for extremely long periods at the beginning and for this to then decrease later. However, I think you are doing a mistake. By sending texts like 'I love you', 'I miss you' to her every day you are not allowing her to think you are a challenge and fun, let's face it, it's just boring. She's right. You need to become more attractive to her, more fun. Perhaps you can do this by not being so available and just not texting for some time. IF she is interested she will then be in touch, because as you rightly figured out nobody is so busy that they don't have 30 second in a day to text you. If they don't do that it means they just don't want to. Now if your SO thinks she has you anyway, no matter what happens, then she will make no effort to chase you, it's basic logic. So I agree with some other posters in that some confrontation to show you could actually walk away may be useful, mind you you actually need to be prepared to walk away as this could go either way. Good luck.

[sasad]

Ok, Gary, first of all it is perfectly normal to be texting for extremely long periods at the beginning and for this to then decrease later. However, I think you are doing a mistake. By sending texts like 'I love you', 'I miss you' to her every day you are not allowing her to think you are a challenge and fun, let's face it, it's just boring. She's right. You need to become more attractive to her, more fun. Perhaps you can do this by not being so available and just not texting for some time. IF she is interested she will then be in touch, because as you rightly figured out nobody is so busy that they don't have 30 second in a day to text you. If they don't do that it means they just don't want to. Now if your SO thinks she has you anyway, no matter what happens, then she will make no effort to chase you, it's basic logic. So I agree with some other posters in that some confrontation to show you could actually walk away may be useful, mind you you actually need to be prepared to walk away as this could go either way. Good luck.

What??? A challenge??? Sorry, I love getting I love you and I miss you from my so. Multiple times a day.
If they are in a real relationship, there is no chase as you put it.
Playing games is not my idea of becoming less "boring"

[whatruckus]

Ok, Gary, first of all it is perfectly normal to be texting for extremely long periods at the beginning and for this to then decrease later. However, I think you are doing a mistake. By sending texts like 'I love you', 'I miss you' to her every day you are not allowing her to think you are a challenge and fun, let's face it, it's just boring. She's right. You need to become more attractive to her, more fun. Perhaps you can do this by not being so available and just not texting for some time. IF she is interested she will then be in touch, because as you rightly figured out nobody is so busy that they don't have 30 second in a day to text you. If they don't do that it means they just don't want to. Now if your SO thinks she has you anyway, no matter what happens, then she will make no effort to chase you, it's basic logic. So I agree with some other posters in that some confrontation to show you could actually walk away may be useful, mind you you actually need to be prepared to walk away as this could go either way. Good luck.

I kinda get what you're saying, but if this girl really wants to be with him and really cares about him, he really shouldn't have to become "less boring". He shouldn't have to put up a "chase" so that she'll want him more. Either she wants him, or she doesn't.

[Miasmata]

Jesus, a relationship is not a game. Playing hard to get and stuff like that is manipulative at best. Honesty will seriously get you much further. Of course nobody should say "I love you" without meaning it, and it shouldn't become a mere empty habit, but don't turn it into a "chase" or something. If you want someone to communicate more, tell them so. Don't put on an act and expect them to get the hint.

If someone stopped having interest in me like that, I wouldn't assume they're trying to challenge me, I would feel rejected.

[C.C.]

"Chase" is okay only before the relationship and serious things start, when you just want to hook up with someone. And I consider it okay in close distance relationships only too. "Chase" brings you interest of someone, but it lasts only for a really short time and doesn't keep relationship steady, simple as that.
Being interesting, "challenge" and "fun" shouldn't come from stupid games. I believe it's your personality that should make you interesting for your partner and the way you just are. If it is not so, then it means you two simply aren't the match. I can't imagine any person being actually boring though, everyone has their own interests and views and there's beauty in every one of them, just for different eyes. And it is hard to actually get to know and understand a person well enough already with a lot of honesty, let alone with games. AND in ldr too??

[RichardMaxwell]

What??? A challenge??? Sorry, I love getting I love you and I miss you from my so. Multiple times a day.
If they are in a real relationship, there is no chase as you put it.
Playing games is not my idea of becoming less "boring"

Of course you like getting 'I love you' and 'I miss you' messages, everyone does. What can you do in reply then, write 'I love you too', 'I miss you too', sorry, but this is boring, there is no motivation there for you to really try to anything for your SO. Guess what HE ALREADY knows that you love him. The reality is that texting is a game, it is SUPPOSED to be entertainment. If it is not fun, of course people won't text a lot. This is true at the beginning, the middle and the end of a relationship.

[RichardMaxwell]

I kinda get what you're saying, but if this girl really wants to be with him and really cares about him, he really shouldn't have to become "less boring". He shouldn't have to put up a "chase" so that she'll want him more. Either she wants him, or she doesn't.

I don't think he is boring actually, he comes across as a really interesting, caring, loving and courageous guy, it's just what he's doing is kind of boring, to keep bombarding her with 'i love you' and 'I miss you' messages. She ALREADY knows he loves her! But I agree he shouldn't have to put up with the way he is being treated, I think he would be better off to confront her and then to go cold on her. If she wants him she will be in touch. Or, as you say, she doesn't, and he can move on.