Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Am I overreacting here?

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Am I overreacting here?

    Just a little bit, maybe. But I want to know if somebody else here would react in similar way.

    So my bf took me for a cruise on our last anniversary and it was just amazing.
    And now, for his spring break, he's going there again, with his friends.

    It wasn't his idea, they just thought that that's good way to spend spring break, and they invited him to come along. He said yes, especially that due to his credit point he could go for free.

    But for some reason I feel sad about it- the fact that he's doing our "special trip" again, without me, but with his friends. And in my mind it's just making it less special. Going somewhere else with this friends- fine, have fun. But the exact same thing we did together for our anniversary?

    What would you think? I just feel very confused- I feel both sad and like I shouldn't care that much for this.
    Tags: anniversary, boyfriend, friends, holiday, trip
    #2
    I totally get that it was something special to you and you enjoyed it specifically as a couple experience, but I think it's good to remember that any activity can be special when done with a loved one. Anyone is free to go to the cinema with whoever they choose, but it's not automatically a date experience unless you take your SO and make it special in that way, you know? I think it's similiar here. I don't think that what you did is any less valued now just because he likes to go on a cruise with his friends, too. Don't let yourself get jealous

    ~
    It'll take a lot more than words and guns
    A whole lot more than riches and muscle
    The hands of the many must join as one
    And together we'll cross the river

    Comment

      #3
      I don't think it's overreacting. It's ok to have these feelings even if logically you don't think they make sense Unless you called him screaming and crying and threatening to dump him if we went on the trip - that would be overreacting!

      I can understand feeling a bit weird with this - I had a similar experience recently after visiting with my S/O. We stayed at a hotel that also gives out day passes for the pool area, and after my trip ended he often goes there with his friends now. When he first told me, I experienced an odd feeling, a vulnerable sort of feeling. I knew it wasn't a weird thing to do, really, but because our visits are so emotionally profound and infrequent, it's like all the ordinary stuff in life that we touched gets a mythical, sacred association. And when these sacred things come into contact with "real life", you feel protective of it.

      Miasmata gave excellent advice and perspective (as she always does!) A cruise is a cruise, it's just a thing to do. Like visiting a city. They won't be doing the same things you two did while on your anniversary!

      Comment

        #4
        Thank you guys! That really helps.

        I'm still jealous, but it's not end of the world and logically I do know that what he's doing right now is totally different from what we've done.

        And you really nailed it ChloChlo- I feel super protective of this, and probably that's why I initially got mad when he told me

        Comment

        Previous template Next
        Working...
        X