Is it even possible?

[BritishGirl]

Hi everyone,

I've only posted a couple of times on here, mostly because the subject of long distance kinda makes me sad (does anyone else feel like that?)

I've been with my American boyfriend for 18 months now, we've met twice, I've been there and he's been here (UK) and I'm back in the US next month.

We're meeting families this year, I'm meeting his next month and he's back here in the UK later this year to meet mine.

Is it possible to be happy and live together eventually? I do have a child (6) who's father has said he is OK with me going to the US.

Is our love possible? I never in my wildest dreams imagined I'd ever have a long term relationship with a distance, it was nothing I ever considered and it is typical I fall in love with someone on the other side of the world.

We're aware we'll need to get married to live together but I think a child complicates things even though his father is happy for me to make the move. Is it still an actual possibility? Has anyone else been in this situation?

We are very much in love and the thought of this not ever being possible keeps me awake at night and I don't know what to do or who to talk to.

[sasad]

yes, most have us here have been in that situation. Yes, some of us even have children, I do for one...

Its all up to you and your SO.. None of us can foretell a Happily Ever After, as you are asking.

You both need to communicate your wishes, desires and fears, and you BOTH need to decide what is it you BOTH want.

[BritishGirl]

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it.
I know no one can predict our happy ending, but it is nice to know all hope is not lost.
Life is just so frustrating, with all these immigration restrictions that keep coming in, we just want to be together.
Once we've both met families this year we'll get discussing properly but I'm hoping we are moving in the right direction!

[Natevongrimm]

It is very possible. My fiancé and I are in the same boat. I have a 5 year old child and also here in the UK while my fiancé is in the states. You can make it work. Having a child does complicate things a bit but you can make it work if you both want it.

[Unicorn26]

I think it's very possible. Especially as your child's father is ok with you making the move.

I have two children, their father has made it very clear that no way on earth would he let me take them away from him (I wouldn't want to anyway) but that means that the only way we could possibly be together is if he moved here. As you know, our immigration rules for non EU citizens are so unbelievably tough and unfair. I do not earn anywhere near the minimum income level to sponsor my SO, although my income from other sources takes it way over, plus my SO has a job here if he wants it but all that means NOTHING. The only chance I would have is going back to work full time (which I cannot do yet as my children are too young) or selling my home and using the equity as savings. That would be a dumb move so for now it's a waiting game. Neither of us are giving up on us though.

I think you're in a great position. If you both want it badly enough, it will work.